court related questions

[Mamacass]

We were given custody in September and BM appealed the courts decision, so we have the appeal date set for next month.  The original decision gave BM visitation of 1 month during summer, 1 week at Christmas and Mother's Day weekend.

Since September, BM has moved back to the area to be closer to our child, so I have allowed her to see him on night a week for 3 hours, and every other weekend.

We feel pretty good about our case going into the appeal.  While BM has improved some situations, she has also has gotten worse in other areas.  Since we have had my son for the majority of the time since last June, and I have a stable household, I feel that I will be able to keep custody.

The only improvement I can see BM gaining from this whole thing, is increasing her court ordered visitation.  

So with that in mind, I thought about offering to go to mediation and offer to make the amount of visitation I'm already giving her official through the courts, and asking in turn if she will withdraw the appeal.  This would save me some time, stress, and a lot of lawyer fees.  

1.Would there be any reason that I shouldn't offer this?  

2. Would this hurt my case, if she declines?  


By the way, one of the weekends that I would give her next month falls on a weekend that I have a huge family function, that includes relatives coming from out of the country.  If I offer to trade weekends, it would have to be for the weekend after, because we have plans for the weekend before.

I would give her the option of saying no, but my son really wants to go, and I would hate for him to miss out.  It's not something that can be rescheduled.  She has asked on several occasions to switch days for her convenience, and I have obliged every time.  

3. Even though it isn't court ordered time, is the court going to frown upon me trading weekends with her when she doesn't want to?  

4. And as a related question, will the courts view it as  a bad thing that I have set up a regular visitation schedule?  (I just wanted to provide some stability for my son so that he knows when he gets to see his mom)

[socrateaser]

>1.Would there be any reason that I shouldn't offer this?  

None, unless you think it hurts the child.

>
>2. Would this hurt my case, if she declines?  

Have your lawyer make the offer to her lawyer, and it will be inadmissible in court as an attempt to negotiate a settlement.

>By the way, one of the weekends that I would give her next
>month falls on a weekend that I have a huge family function,
>that includes relatives coming from out of the country.  If I
>offer to trade weekends, it would have to be for the weekend
>after, because we have plans for the weekend before.

Whatever the orders currently state, is what you must do, except that the person who has the right to exercise, can delegate or waive the right in favor of someone else. So, if you can't agree, then you go back to whatever is in the current orders.

>3. Even though it isn't court ordered time, is the court going
>to frown upon me trading weekends with her when she doesn't
>want to?  

If it's not court ordered time, and it would belong to you, in the absence of a compromise, then it's yours to give away or keep. If it's the other parents, then it's that parent's time to give away or keep. The court will not care one way or the other, unless one parent can show that the other is manipulating circumstances to frustrate the other parent's court ordered exercise of parenting.

>4. And as a related question, will the courts view it as  a
>bad thing that I have set up a regular visitation schedule?

Seems like the best interests of the child, which is all that the court cares about.