Right of First Refusal

[Crockpot]

Both in MN, share legal, ex has physical.

I'm kicking myself now because my ex and I just signed to amend our orders to specify my parenting time and I should have added a right of first refusal clause.  With less than two weeks notice and at the same time we were signing the new orders she moved within 15 miles of me (she had been 40).

Ex leaves our daughters with babysitters on a regular basis.  I was upset to learn the night before my oldest daughter was starting her new school mom was at a concert and daughter was home with ex's boyfriend.  I would have gladly taken her if I had known mom wasn't home.  

If I catch my ex in the right mood she may agree to ask me to take the kids when she'll be gone for more than a few hours, but history shows that attitude won't last so I'd like it in the orders.

I don't pay for a portion of my kids daycare, as she has no records of paying for it.  

1. Is requesting a right of first refusal clause something that can easily be done pro se?

2. Since I'm assuming a judge would agree being with the other parent is better than a babysitter do I have to show a pattern of her leaving kids with babysitters?    

I look at it like, if she doesn't leave them with babysitters a lot then, great put the clause in and we'll never need it.  So there doesn't seem to be much argument against not adding it.

Thanks.

[socrateaser]

>1. Is requesting a right of first refusal clause something
>that can easily be done pro se?

No, and it's near impossible to enforce, unless the parents are already extremely cooperative. Don't waste your time.

>2. Since I'm assuming a judge would agree being with the other
>parent is better than a babysitter do I have to show a pattern
>of her leaving kids with babysitters?    

Nope. You need to show the judge that the two of you can cooperate -- and that doesn't seem likely.

>I look at it like, if she doesn't leave them with babysitters
>a lot then, great put the clause in and we'll never need it.
>So there doesn't seem to be much argument against not adding
>it.

Judges do not enjoy seeing parents coming back to court over and over. You're making a mistake. Don't start a new battle on the heels of a prior battle.