Police Report and 911 Calls.Cell Phone Harassment, & ACS Call, etc

[HzlEyez]

Good Evening,

I am emailing here because, hopefully someone can assist me and my boyfriend in guiding us.  We currently reside in NYS.  We want to know is there a way to obtain the records to each of these incidents without subpoenas from the court to show the court evidence that my boyfriend's baby mother is harassing us and hopefully it can help my boyfriend to obtain full custody of his child.
It all started in Nov 2006, my boyfriend, my child and I were at home. We had just arrived from work and from picking up my child.  There was a knock on the door.  I inquired who it was an it was ACS. They were here b/c an anonymous call had been placed against me and my boyfriend alleging that I use drugs and abuse my child.  Also alleging my boyfriend abuses my child.  We went through the process and the case was closed due to it being unfounded.  Now the thing is after the case was closed we obtained the report but, it doesn't provide the caller information.  I want to know is there a way to obtain that information without a court subpoena to prove to the court that our suspicion of either the baby mother or a friend of the baby mother is where the call came from?
The next incident happened in December 2006 during the scheduled pick up of my boyfriends child at a court appointed public place.  The child's mother and the child's grandmother followed my boyfriend to where he had parked his jeep a block away.  As they both got close to the jeep the child's grandmother started using obsence language towards me.  My boyfriend heard what the child's grandmother was saying and so, he finished buckling up his daughter and closed the door to his jeep.  He than proceeded to state to the child's grandmother, "what is the problem?"  I immediately started dialing 911.  The child's grandmother charged towards the curbside and started yelling how my boyfriend had violated the court order by bringing me to the curbside of her daughter's residence.  Now my boyfriends court order doesn't state that he can't be accompanied by anyone to the scheduled pick up at the curbside.  The court denies anyone being present at the court appointed public place.  The court order visitation states the following: Pick-up and return at public place.  Friday pick up curbside at the mother's home.  No one to be present except parents at public place.  My boyfriend if I accompany him to the pick up and drop off parks his jeep a block away where I can have a visual of him.
My boyfriend informed the grandmother that if anyone was violating the court order was her own child for having brought her to the scheduled pick up at the public place.  The child's grandmother than told my boyfriend that no court was going to tell her that she couldn't accompany her child to the public place.  The child's mother than took out the court papers and stated,"these court papers, the court can kiss my ass?"  The child's mother and the grandmother eventually left and my boyfriend and I waited for the police.  My boyfriend filed a report against both of them.  That same night when he brought his child to the scheduled drop off the child's mother started screaming at him,"you have nothing to say now, where's your bitch?"  I was a parked in the jeep a block away.  My boyfriend turned and walked away from her.  Next thing the child's grandmother charges towards my boyfriend.  My boyfriend then back's into the street.  She than starts screaming to my boyfriend,"Hit me now."  My boyfriend told the child's grandmother,"look at how ridiculous you look in front of your grandchild."  The child's grandmother than stated to my boyfriend,"you don't care about your child."  My boyfriend replied,"I don't worry I leave it to the court."  He than walked away.  My boyfriend came to the jeep and told me what had happened.  We didn't call the police this time we just left.  As my boyfriend was driving his cell phone rang. I answered it.  It was the child's mother.  She than started to say,"Hi Bitch."  I stood quiet.  The child's grandmother than stated,"Can't say anything scaredy cat."  I stood quiet. She hung up the phone.  
We were at my apartment when I received a restricted call on my cell phone.  All I recall the person saying,"Bitch,"and hung up.
Can we possibly obtain video from the public place where these incident's occurred without a court order?  As far as the call's is there a way to request from the cell phone companies a trace of the call's that came into our cell phone's for those two incidents without a court subpoena?  My boyfriend obtained a temporary order of protection against the child's mother and the child's grandmother for these incidents.
In January I went to court and I informed them of the incident all they offered me was the opportunity to come to mediation with both parties: child's mother and grandmother.  I went to the scheduled mediation but, neither of them showed up.  Being that the mediation is voluntary is there something I could obtain from the mediation center that my boyfriend could submit to the court to show that I did this.
In January my boyfriend had the child's mother arrested for violation of the temporary order of protection but, after this happened she started harassing me.  
On February 2006 I received an email supposedly from my boyfriend stating that he was messing around with a bestfriend of his that happens to be a female.  Please note me and his bestfriend who is a female get along and my boyfriend doesn't have a relationship except friendship with the girl.  Anyway supposedly my boyfriend sent it to me by mistake is what the email was to come across as.  Is there a way to make the company where the email came from look into finding out where the email originated from? We are hoping it leads back to the child's mother or one of her friends.  The only thing is there a way to obtain this without any court order?
Approximately two days later the child's mother came from behind where the jeep was parked and as she got in front of the jeep she turned around and started doing obsence gestures towards me.  I was sitting alone in the jeep because, my boyfriend was waiting for the child's mother at the public place.  I dialed 911 immediately and reported the incident.  When my boyfriend returned to the jeep he found out about the incident.  My boyfriend was upset that that had occurred while in his absence.  The police arrived and I filed a report.  
I then went on Monday to the criminal court to see what options could be offered to me.  Once again I was only offered mediation and I informed the clerk that the last time I was offered the same option and she never showed up.  I than left the court.
About two weeks later I accompanied my boyfriend to a scheduled parenting time to the curbside of the residence and the child's mother came downstairs and took a picture of me from the curbside.  I called 911.  When the police arrived they told me that that wasn't harassment.  I then did research and upon my investigation it clearly based on the NYS Law's it was a part of harassment. I went to the local precinct in the city where the incident had occurred and I explained to the police officer the incident and he told me that taking a picture in a public place is not harassment. I explained to him their is no reason for it and it is annoying.  He then told me to file the report.  I filed it.  Is there a way for us to obtain the police report to any of these incidents and also the 911 call's without any court order's so, when my boyfriend returns to court he can use the information as evidence against her?
So, as you can see my boyfriend and I have had alot to endure from his baby mother and I keep hoping things will get better but, my boyfriend tells me not to expect it.
Please note any help in guiding us legally on how to proceed to these matters would be appreciated.
Thank you

[mistoffolees]

First, please try to keep your post to just the relevant issues - there's a lot to wade through here, and 90% is irrelevant. A number of items:

1. No, you can't legally obtain their phone records without a subpoena. And you'll need a pretty good reason why you need to have them to get a subpoena.

2. The policeman is right. It's perfectly legal for someone to take pictures in a public place. They don't need to have a reason for it. Similarly, it's perfectly legal to take videos in a public place. You don't need a court order.

3. While making obscene gestures at you is rude, it's not illegal that I'm aware of. Calling 911 because someone made an obscene gesture makes you look childish.

4. If she's calling and harrassing you on the phone, you can probably record the conversation without a court order (this depends on the laws in your state, so you'll have to look it up). In my state, as long as one party in the conversation agrees and there are no children on the line, it's legal to tape without informing the other person(s).

5. No, you can't obtain the name of your accuser. The law protects people who make accusations of child abuse.

My biggest advice is to learn to chill out. Your BF's ex doesn't like you. Big deal. She calls you names. Big deal. She makes obscene gestures. Big deal. She took your picture. Big deal. You'll be a lot happier if you learn to ignore all these little affronts. Does it really matter if your BF's ex flips you the bird once in a while? If you keep calling 911, she's going to keep doing it because it makes you look like a whiner. Eventually the police will stop responding to your calls. If you ignore her, she'll get tired of doing it and stop.

The only one that I'd be concerned about is the email "from your BF". If you saved the email, open it and then in your email program find the command for 'view headers' or 'long headers' or something like that. Once you have all the header information, print it out and take it to someone who is familiar with email. They can possibly help you figure out where it came from. If it's from your BF, then he and your friend are lying. If it's not, then someone is pretending to be him which is a crime.

[HelpingHands]

Wow, dejavue...

1. Get a small tape recorder and record ALL conversations between him and the ex in person(he can wear it in his pocket) (make sure you are legally allowed to of course) //www.rdfp.org/taping Check out the laws on recording calls on the phone as well - Radio Shack sells in-line recorders and other equipment.

2. You can get copies of all YOUR inbound and outbound calls from your cell company. I believe even if it's blocked, it will show on the phone record. Block her number from your cell phone.

3. Smile and say nothing. They WANT your reaction so they can say that YOU are harrassing them by being at the drop off/pick up location. Their whole goal is to cause a hostile environment and if you bring it up in front of a judge, the judge will ask: So what business do you have in being at the P/u or D/o location? Is he not mature enough to do this himself? And specifically order you are NOT to be there since obviously your presence(and grandmas) is causing a scene.

4. Why is the grandmother a part of this situation (nobody allowed at d/o p/u) and why hasn't your boyfriend brought it before the courts? He needs to address that issue ASAP.

5. Have your boyfriend transcribe the tapes into a journal after every exchange. It will refresh your memory of everything that has happened and when it comes court time- your recollection of events will be sharp, with specific dates, times, persons involved, etc.

[Sherry1]

pick ups/drop offs?  if you are along for the ride, have your BF drop you off at a fast food place or something until it is done.  Even though what she is doing is wrong, it seems you not going would calm things down somewhat.

[HzlEyez]

Hi,

Thank you for the information and your advice.  Your advice will be taken into consideration.

Thank you

[HzlEyez]

Hi,

Thank you for your input & advice.  It will be taken into consideration.

Thank you

[HzlEyez]

Hi,

Thank you for your input and your advice.  It will be taken into consideration.

Thank you

[HzlEyez]

Good Evening,

I am emailing here because, hopefully someone can assist me and my boyfriend in guiding us.  We currently reside in NYS.  We want to know is there a way to obtain the records to each of these incidents without subpoenas from the court to show the court evidence that my boyfriend's baby mother is harassing us and hopefully it can help my boyfriend to obtain full custody of his child.
It all started in Nov 2006, my boyfriend, my child and I were at home. We had just arrived from work and from picking up my child.  There was a knock on the door.  I inquired who it was an it was ACS. They were here b/c an anonymous call had been placed against me and my boyfriend alleging that I use drugs and abuse my child.  Also alleging my boyfriend abuses my child.  We went through the process and the case was closed due to it being unfounded.  Now the thing is after the case was closed we obtained the report but, it doesn't provide the caller information.  I want to know is there a way to obtain that information without a court subpoena to prove to the court that our suspicion of either the baby mother or a friend of the baby mother is where the call came from?
The next incident happened in December 2006 during the scheduled pick up of my boyfriends child at a court appointed public place.  The child's mother and the child's grandmother followed my boyfriend to where he had parked his jeep a block away.  As they both got close to the jeep the child's grandmother started using obsence language towards me.  My boyfriend heard what the child's grandmother was saying and so, he finished buckling up his daughter and closed the door to his jeep.  He than proceeded to state to the child's grandmother, "what is the problem?"  I immediately started dialing 911.  The child's grandmother charged towards the curbside and started yelling how my boyfriend had violated the court order by bringing me to the curbside of her daughter's residence.  Now my boyfriends court order doesn't state that he can't be accompanied by anyone to the scheduled pick up at the curbside.  The court denies anyone being present at the court appointed public place.  The court order visitation states the following: Pick-up and return at public place.  Friday pick up curbside at the mother's home.  No one to be present except parents at public place.  My boyfriend if I accompany him to the pick up and drop off parks his jeep a block away where I can have a visual of him.
My boyfriend informed the grandmother that if anyone was violating the court order was her own child for having brought her to the scheduled pick up at the public place.  The child's grandmother than told my boyfriend that no court was going to tell her that she couldn't accompany her child to the public place.  The child's mother than took out the court papers and stated,"these court papers, the court can kiss my ass?"  The child's mother and the grandmother eventually left and my boyfriend and I waited for the police.  My boyfriend filed a report against both of them.  That same night when he brought his child to the scheduled drop off the child's mother started screaming at him,"you have nothing to say now, where's your bitch?"  I was a parked in the jeep a block away.  My boyfriend turned and walked away from her.  Next thing the child's grandmother charges towards my boyfriend.  My boyfriend then back's into the street.  She than starts screaming to my boyfriend,"Hit me now."  My boyfriend told the child's grandmother,"look at how ridiculous you look in front of your grandchild."  The child's grandmother than stated to my boyfriend,"you don't care about your child."  My boyfriend replied,"I don't worry I leave it to the court."  He than walked away.  My boyfriend came to the jeep and told me what had happened.  We didn't call the police this time we just left.  As my boyfriend was driving his cell phone rang. I answered it.  It was the child's mother.  She than started to say,"Hi Bitch."  I stood quiet.  The child's grandmother than stated,"Can't say anything scaredy cat."  I stood quiet. She hung up the phone.  
We were at my apartment when I received a restricted call on my cell phone.  All I recall the person saying,"Bitch,"and hung up.
Can we possibly obtain video from the public place where these incident's occurred without a court order?  As far as the call's is there a way to request from the cell phone companies a trace of the call's that came into our cell phone's for those two incidents without a court subpoena?  My boyfriend obtained a temporary order of protection against the child's mother and the child's grandmother for these incidents.
In January I went to court and I informed them of the incident all they offered me was the opportunity to come to mediation with both parties: child's mother and grandmother.  I went to the scheduled mediation but, neither of them showed up.  Being that the mediation is voluntary is there something I could obtain from the mediation center that my boyfriend could submit to the court to show that I did this.
In January my boyfriend had the child's mother arrested for violation of the temporary order of protection but, after this happened she started harassing me.  
On February 2006 I received an email supposedly from my boyfriend stating that he was messing around with a bestfriend of his that happens to be a female.  Please note me and his bestfriend who is a female get along and my boyfriend doesn't have a relationship except friendship with the girl.  Anyway supposedly my boyfriend sent it to me by mistake is what the email was to come across as.  Is there a way to make the company where the email came from look into finding out where the email originated from? We are hoping it leads back to the child's mother or one of her friends.  The only thing is there a way to obtain this without any court order?
Approximately two days later the child's mother came from behind where the jeep was parked and as she got in front of the jeep she turned around and started doing obsence gestures towards me.  I was sitting alone in the jeep because, my boyfriend was waiting for the child's mother at the public place.  I dialed 911 immediately and reported the incident.  When my boyfriend returned to the jeep he found out about the incident.  My boyfriend was upset that that had occurred while in his absence.  The police arrived and I filed a report.  
I then went on Monday to the criminal court to see what options could be offered to me.  Once again I was only offered mediation and I informed the clerk that the last time I was offered the same option and she never showed up.  I than left the court.
About two weeks later I accompanied my boyfriend to a scheduled parenting time to the curbside of the residence and the child's mother came downstairs and took a picture of me from the curbside.  I called 911.  When the police arrived they told me that that wasn't harassment.  I then did research and upon my investigation it clearly based on the NYS Law's it was a part of harassment. I went to the local precinct in the city where the incident had occurred and I explained to the police officer the incident and he told me that taking a picture in a public place is not harassment. I explained to him their is no reason for it and it is annoying.  He then told me to file the report.  I filed it.  Is there a way for us to obtain the police report to any of these incidents and also the 911 call's without any court order's so, when my boyfriend returns to court he can use the information as evidence against her?
So, as you can see my boyfriend and I have had alot to endure from his baby mother and I keep hoping things will get better but, my boyfriend tells me not to expect it.
Please note any help in guiding us legally on how to proceed to these matters would be appreciated.
Thank you

[mistoffolees]

First, please try to keep your post to just the relevant issues - there's a lot to wade through here, and 90% is irrelevant. A number of items:

1. No, you can't legally obtain their phone records without a subpoena. And you'll need a pretty good reason why you need to have them to get a subpoena.

2. The policeman is right. It's perfectly legal for someone to take pictures in a public place. They don't need to have a reason for it. Similarly, it's perfectly legal to take videos in a public place. You don't need a court order.

3. While making obscene gestures at you is rude, it's not illegal that I'm aware of. Calling 911 because someone made an obscene gesture makes you look childish.

4. If she's calling and harrassing you on the phone, you can probably record the conversation without a court order (this depends on the laws in your state, so you'll have to look it up). In my state, as long as one party in the conversation agrees and there are no children on the line, it's legal to tape without informing the other person(s).

5. No, you can't obtain the name of your accuser. The law protects people who make accusations of child abuse.

My biggest advice is to learn to chill out. Your BF's ex doesn't like you. Big deal. She calls you names. Big deal. She makes obscene gestures. Big deal. She took your picture. Big deal. You'll be a lot happier if you learn to ignore all these little affronts. Does it really matter if your BF's ex flips you the bird once in a while? If you keep calling 911, she's going to keep doing it because it makes you look like a whiner. Eventually the police will stop responding to your calls. If you ignore her, she'll get tired of doing it and stop.

The only one that I'd be concerned about is the email "from your BF". If you saved the email, open it and then in your email program find the command for 'view headers' or 'long headers' or something like that. Once you have all the header information, print it out and take it to someone who is familiar with email. They can possibly help you figure out where it came from. If it's from your BF, then he and your friend are lying. If it's not, then someone is pretending to be him which is a crime.

[HelpingHands]

Wow, dejavue...

1. Get a small tape recorder and record ALL conversations between him and the ex in person(he can wear it in his pocket) (make sure you are legally allowed to of course) //www.rdfp.org/taping Check out the laws on recording calls on the phone as well - Radio Shack sells in-line recorders and other equipment.

2. You can get copies of all YOUR inbound and outbound calls from your cell company. I believe even if it's blocked, it will show on the phone record. Block her number from your cell phone.

3. Smile and say nothing. They WANT your reaction so they can say that YOU are harrassing them by being at the drop off/pick up location. Their whole goal is to cause a hostile environment and if you bring it up in front of a judge, the judge will ask: So what business do you have in being at the P/u or D/o location? Is he not mature enough to do this himself? And specifically order you are NOT to be there since obviously your presence(and grandmas) is causing a scene.

4. Why is the grandmother a part of this situation (nobody allowed at d/o p/u) and why hasn't your boyfriend brought it before the courts? He needs to address that issue ASAP.

5. Have your boyfriend transcribe the tapes into a journal after every exchange. It will refresh your memory of everything that has happened and when it comes court time- your recollection of events will be sharp, with specific dates, times, persons involved, etc.