Police Report and 911 Calls.Cell Phone Harassment, & ACS Call, etc

[Sherry1]

pick ups/drop offs?  if you are along for the ride, have your BF drop you off at a fast food place or something until it is done.  Even though what she is doing is wrong, it seems you not going would calm things down somewhat.

[HzlEyez]

Hi,

Thank you for the information and your advice.  Your advice will be taken into consideration.

Thank you

[HzlEyez]

Hi,

Thank you for your input & advice.  It will be taken into consideration.

Thank you

[HzlEyez]

Hi,

Thank you for your input and your advice.  It will be taken into consideration.

Thank you

[wysiwyg]

if the reason you go is for witness issues, (trust me we have all done this) perhaps not going would calm things, however a point to consider is purchasing a digital voice recorder, so that your BF can record the pick ups and drop offs and have something to work for him in the event it is necessary.

[williaer]

Yes- I'm kind of wondering why you feel it necessary to accompany him at all. If she assults him- he can call 911- he's clearly capapble. You know it is just steaming her to see you...clearly the court was attempting to make this all a peacful process for the child by SPECIFICALLY limiting who was to be present. Please remember that this is not about you and not about your BF....it is ONLY about the happiness and health of this child that they share.

You aren't doing anyone any favors by filing reports and whining to the cops...stay out of it- your life will be so much better.

I have been in your shoes. I just quit going with him. 9 years later- she and I have a cordial relationship. Give this all time to simmer down.

[backwardsbike]

I am so sorry you are going thru this.  its a huge pain in the butt, but not illegal.  And unfortunately will not get him sole custody, IMHO- I'm not a laywer and this is not legal advice.  But Ihave been where you are.

Its a tough spot. But until these crazy people do somehting that actaully harms the child in some way you can prove- its just not gonna matter.

My lawyer told me," Its nto against he law to make an *arse* of yourself" and she was so right.  I've spent nine years fighting custody. My X who is Cp has neglected the kids medically more time than I can count.  They wear shoes with holes the size of golf balls even though I pay him support and he makes 70K a year.  He neglects thier edcuation but somehow they pullit out at the last second and apss by the skin of thier teeth.  Ihave beent o court so soften that when I decided to retun to grad school I actaully considered law school.  I decided against ti because I just can't lie or protect people who do.  None of my trips to court made any difference and I'd have doen well to just save the money and bought a boat- I like to fish.

Once custody is estabilsihed its very hard to change.  Your BF needs to start documenting all this.  You can get excellent advice in the article section of this site.  he needs to be on a good bassi withhis child's doctor, daycare provider,s chool and teachers.  When she gets into activites he needs to support them, get involved adn get to know the leaders.  Eventually, if his X is this much as a jerk her true colors will show adn he will have evidence that will matter adn al important witnesses.  Oh and he should start savign for a lawyer and a custody eval ( around 20K at least) because it sounds like he'll need to keep what he has.

If you choose to stay with him know that you are looking at what your life will be like.  Do not bow to this womens demands but do not be adversarial either.  Be a support to your boyfriend as much as you can and find your own network of support becasue its not an easy life.  

My Dh could tell you some horror stories.  he's been accused of everythign BUT sexual abuse.  We have been twice investigated by CYS- unfounded both times.  We knew each time it was X turning us in and as soon as we told the investigators that we knew they backed off casue we were rigtht although they can't confirm it.  it pays to get them on your side.  Never be adversarial with them.  We have been thru two custody evals on top of everything else adn we bothhad to have spuychologicals too!  Not fun.  However, we both passed everyhting all the way around.

[HzlEyez]

I appreciate your story because, it allow's me to know that I am not alone in this because, that is how I felt.  Not that I am gloating at what you yourself or your partner have had to endure but, it's great to hear stories of similarity from other individuals.

Thank you

[HzlEyez]

Hi,

I appreciate your advice and I will let my BF know.  
The only thing is I believe that recording in NYS is illegal unless you obtain the consent of the individual you are attempting to record but, I could be wrong.  If you know where I could find out information regarding such matter I would appreciate it.

Thank you

[HzlEyez]

I know he is capable of handling himself if he needs to.  
I have stopped going to the pick up and drop offs because, my BF feels if I refuse to go all the way and just stay in the public place to please her than I shouldn't go.  My BF say's their relationship is over and it's going to be two years soon and she needs to move on with her life.  My BF say's he is no longer her property.  My BF also hates having to explain to his child everytime she ask,"why I no longer come to the pick up or drop offs, when his child tell's him that she likes for me to come along?  
Honestly, I don't ever see me and his ex being cordial.  She is a liar and a very ugly person inside for all of her actions she has done against me and my BF.