CS in NC...A twist of fate

[I cry_ in_the_dark]

My friend's CS hearing was yesterday. She was nervous... not only was her step mother there, but her father, who had been totally out of the whole story.  He wanted to remain neutral. Only the step mother has custody,

My friend was armed with all the documentation and print outs I'd given her. She said the judge was a real "*&%^(:". It didn't matter that she didn't work 40 hours a week. It didn't matter that she could prove that her insurance is provided free, and that the premium she paid was soley for the family coverage. It didn't matter that she had another child to care for. She was going to pay  X amount of dollars as demanded, PERIOD.

She said the judge talked to her like a piece of garbage, even tho she had told them she was willing to pay support, but felt ( and had proof that) she shouldn't pay that much.

Step mother and Dad took a few minutes to talk privately. They informed the judge they wanted NO money, only continuation of the insurance. The judge tried to talk them out of it! They insisted they only wanted the insurance, and were going to go after the father.

So, while it saddens me that the justice system seems to have "failed" yet again....I'm so happy for her. Maybe it was the harshness of the judge that brought the "Parents" to their senses. I don't know. But I thank you all for your input and wish you the same results.

[notnew]

While I am not famaliar with the specifics of your friends case, I do know of a young lady whose parents have custody of her child. Both the father and the mother pay child support to the custodial grandparents.

Therefore, it seems strange to me that the judge didn't think along those types of lines and figure that the mother would owe 1/2 of the obligation and then inform the grandparents that they would need to pursue the father for the other half.

[mistoffolees]

While there's no excuse for a judge being abusive, keep in mind that you're hearing one side of the story. Furthermore, judges probably get tired of people who really are deadbeats and the default is probably to push back very hard for someone who wants support lowered.

Even so, I don't see that the system failed. She got off with no support. If you think about it, you can probably understand why judges don't like it when people (even the CP) ask for no support. The money is for the child and the child can't speak for him/herself. The court wants to be sure that there's no coercion or pressure on the CP to reduce support - so they resist it.

But your friend got a very fair deal, so the system didn't fail.

[Imom]

DH finally got the bais thrown at him..

Long story short..there was no cs/ins ordered in the original agreement. An issue came up about ins last summer (bm has summer time. DH filed for 50/50 of out of pocket expense for medical and school in lieu of CS. (to help make sure ss got his asthma meds during the summer)

GUESS WHAT her attorney and the judge stated that dh can not get cs even though he has ss 75% of the year. They were not even keen on the idea of spliting the cost.

Now the judge did order mom to obtain the meds and give them to ss? So we can't say he lost either!!!

[dipper]

"They insisted they only wanted the insurance, and were going to go after the father."

If your friend is going to pay the insurance what are they going after the father for?

[I cry_ in_the_dark]

They are going to go after the father for the child support.

[wallyworld]

So here's the double standard again.  They are going after the father for child support not the mother.  Why?  They should both equally be responsible for the child support.  AND they should both be equally responsible for the insurance.  Why is it the father that should be responsible when it is the mother's child also?

[mistoffolees]

>So here's the double standard again.  They are going after
>the father for child support not the mother.  Why?  They
>should both equally be responsible for the child support.  AND
>they should both be equally responsible for the insurance.
>Why is it the father that should be responsible when it is the
>mother's child also?

Read it again. There's no double standard in the system. The judge tried to get them to go after both parents, but the custodial step-mother chose to go only after the father.

The system tried to be neutral.

[I cry_ in_the_dark]

She's paying a pretty penny for the insurance.
Basically, it's a 50/50 split...her insurance, him the dollars.

[I cry_ in_the_dark]

No, the judge DID NOT try to get them to go after both parents. He wanted the MOTHER to pay all.