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You were right Dr. D....

Started by Rane, Jan 20, 2004, 07:40:31 PM

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Dear Dr. D,
  I asked your opinion about my sd calling dh and wanting to visit (after not seeing her dad for 6 mos.) two weeks before evaluation...
Well we got to visit w/her 2 days before evaluation and she called dh every day right up until evaluation. At the evaluation she did not speak to any of us, my dh her ss or sb or me.

  You said you thought bm may be allowing the contact just to try & put the child in a bad or uncomfortable situation.

 We had a b-day party for her when she visited & had a lot of family there to be a witness in the event this is what bm was up to.
Well, she got nothing to use against us, and again sd & ss are not returning calls from dh since the evaluation. We have had no contact w/kids since evaluation on the 12th.
  At the evaluation ss told evaluator he did not need dh in his life because his mom's bf of 8 mos. was a positive roll model & he was his dad now not dh. We went into this w/the intent of proving PAS and we think ss did this for us just by his attitude & his not being able to give a good reason for not wanting to have a relationship w/dh. One of his reasons was that bm always lets him help her make decisions about the men in her life & dh did not consult w/him before marrying me. That poor child is so messed up thanks to bm using him to get what she wants.

Thanks for your help,

Dr. D

Keep your eyes open - heart open......Dr. D


Today my dh went to ss ball game he got to speak to sd. Ss won his game so he would be playing again later in the afternoon. dh told sd he would be back when ss played again, when dh went back to the game bm had her bf 2 girls w/her but had left sd somewhere else for the afternoon. I think this was intentionally done to keep sd from seeing dh. sd told dh she would be there this afternoon so we know the child NOT being there was NOT planned until after talking to dh.

I do not know how much more of this my dh or I can take. dh has been replaced by the bf and I can only imagine how dh feels. I am hurting soo badly for him but cannot imagine his pain. I do not know what I would do if my children were kept from me for this long.

Is there any justice for all of this?? Do children need their fathers at all anymore? or can any fling mom has just replace dad?

My heart goes out to any father who has been kept from his children for no good reason!!

Dr. D

I am sorry that you have to feel the pain and unjustice of poor parenting.  Yes, children do need both parents - unfortunately, all too often the custodial parent feels threatened by such need and acts to eliminate the other parent.  In the long run - everyone pays.  I hope your schildren see what is occuring and keep dad and you in their lives.  Your choice is to continue loving them and hope things turn around or give up. I hope you are up to the challenge.  Dr. D