Hi I'm new here and need help!!!i

[Kali]

No he makes $55K at his real job he then works side jobs which I can't prove.  I also was venting about him having a fiancee that pays half the bills hence a 2nd income I do realize that the courts won't look at it but I am p!ssed that he should imply that I owe him ANYTHING I owe him nothing.  This is nothing more than a power trip to him.

[Kali]

thanks for the calculater according to that it says I'd owe quite a bit *sigh* I'm just not able to pay that much.

I'm weighing all my options and trying to find a lawyer and get a loan from work for the retainer fee.

[Kali]

I hate him for everything he's done he implies I don't support her finacially but I do and I can prove it, although he admitted to my face that I am a good mother (WOW it's the FIRST time ever he's EVER done that) but I still don't trust him never will again.

I am not disputing that supporting my child isn't an obligation I am disputing the fact that he claims I don't and the fact that he deserves CS, Putting the costs in for the necessities ect... we are both paying evenly right about now when you compare daycare, ins, clothing, living expenses ect.... how does he figure that he should get more?  That's what I'm not getting.  If I don't pay for Catechism and scouts I'm doubting she'll go because he doesn't deem them important even though he CAN afford them.

Being a NCM is hard enough without having to deal with the ex from he!! and that's what he is.  This is truly a power trip, and what tells me that is he filed the day after an argument we had about some issues, this is a throw it in your face I'm the boss and you will bow down to me motion that's what he's doing here.  

I'm hearing my state won't take alot of things into consideration that others do.  This TOTALLY bites.

[Kali]

I'm not sure what you are trying to tell me are you trying to tell me my ex is doing what he has to to survive?

if so that's NOT what this is about it's his own power trip.  I have NEVER said no when my dd needed something I support her in every way I can, I pay my daycare, he pays his it's always been an agreement.  Mine costs more because of the FT care .  I pay for a TON of other things I buy her clothes, I get her things she needs, I just did her science fair project with her which I spent $50 on and he couldn't be bothered to even bring one supply for it that he had at his house.  

[olanna]

Why not just go to court and ask for guideline support from both of you? If time is pretty equal, you should be splitting daycare and medical 50/50.

How is your order written now?

[Kali]

I think that's what I'm going to do.  He's considered custodial because she's there slightly more than with me.  I think he should be responsible for more than 50 I mean if you look at our incomes it's a grosse differance but I have no problem being accountable for my daughter that's never been an issue.

He wants to see me pay him for CS and continue paying what I already pay and pay me nothing when she's in my care.  Well that's hardly fair or just and it will ruin me seriously drastic measures in living arrangements will HAVE to be made.

[wendl]

Kali,
I am simply stating YOU must do what you have to in order to survive. Your child will remember what you have done for her and what the other parent hasn't.

My hubby is the NCP he also paid daycare, medical, cs and purchased school clothing etc for the CP's house cuz I guess the cs of over $600 wasn't enough for her to go get the kids clothing. We purchased school supplies and overnighted them to the school for the kids.

SO basically what I am saying is you cannot force your ex to spend the money on the child etc, you can only control what you do and continue to do what you are doing as your child will remember it.

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[Kali]

ahhh okay gotcha I was a little confussed at what you were saying lol please forgive me as my brain is a bit scattered with everything going on right now lol sorry :(

Yes I will continue to do so becuase yes you are right and she already see's things sometimes like the quality time I spend with her and she wonders why her dad doesn't and asks if his job is more important than her because he ALWAYS works (btw I know he's not always working he tells her that because he's a computer geek and can't get off the computer to save his life).

Thanks though for reminding me of that :)