Custody Hearing Next Week - Please Help!

[momto2teens]

Hi,
I am new here and have been reading all of the posts trying to learn as much as I can. I'm scared to death about next weeks custody hearing. This is my situation:

Father sued for primary physical custody 1 1/2 years ago after getting re-married. Children were 14 & 16 at the time. I agreed because they stated they wanted to try out living with Dad, since they had always lived with mom. I currently have joint legal and shared physical with ex being primary physical.

My Husband & I moved from IN to MS due to employment. Have been in constant phone contact with children and many visits from children as well as us visits to IN.

Ex halted all communication with me and would not answer phone. He refuses to alert me of any medical emergencies, doctors, absolutely NOTHING etc...stating that he is the "sole guardian" and doesn't have to.

Get a call from children on 12/26 stating that they have "run away" due to step mom stating she "hates them" and calling them b*tch*s, etc... throwing things, just miserable and they want to move back "home" with me.

I immediately fly to IN. I file to regain custody and husband & I begin to figure out how we are going to restructure our lives to move back to IN and start all over again. (we have been married for 10yrs, so the children are used to him) We will do whatever it takes for the children.

In the meanwhile, Ex has taken 16 yo child to psychiatrist and had them put on antipsychotic medication because he has "anger problems". He is angry at them! They took him to the emergency room the night he told them he did not want to live there anymore, for crying out loud! The psychiatrist will not return my repeated phone calls, even though I have faxed her the court order showing I share legal custody.

18 yo child has moved in with her boyfriends parents as of 12/26 and I am paying rent. Ex took away 18yo car because she refused to move back, so she could not get to school or work. I purchased her a new car.

Now, Ex is stating that I ABANDONED my children when I moved out of state. He stated in a phone conversation I had with him (in front of 16yo) that I am an alcoholic, a drug user and have a violent household. I am a horrible mother that has no say in anything to do with the children because he is SOLE GUARDIAN. He went as far to say that he has decided that he is only going to let me see them on the weekends and not at all during the week. 16yo also told me that Ex told the psych that I was bi-polar and an alcoholic! None of which is true!

Thanks to Ex spewing his opinions quite openly, I believe I know what he is planning on saying in court and it's all lies! How do I prove myself innocent? Or, does he have to prove me guilty? I've never been so stressed out in my life.


State is Indiana


 

[momto2teens]

I Guess No One Is Here! :+

[MixedBag]

Slow board...

based on the ages of your children, that's gonna be your greatest asset in court (IMHO).

IMHO again, counselor/psychologist can't testify and stuff or it will be fairly easy to counter IF this professional didn't involve BOTH parents and has never spoken with you.

My EX#2 and I too were far apart geographically -- and we have joint custody.  He said very similar things about me -- and you just gotta let them roll off your back instead of getting mad about it.

You may have joint legal and even joint physical, but if you're not there in town, when the kids get sick for example, YOU can't take off work and be there.  That's where the "sole guardianship" mentality takes it's hold.

[olanna]

My 15 year old (now 19) got on a plane and came home, to the opposite coast. He told his Dad he didn't want to live with him anymore. End of story.

The ex was instructed by his atty to just let it go because no court in the land would make him return if he was that unhappy in his house. By that age, what the kid does have a lot of influence.

Just some food for thought.

[momto2teens]

Hi,
I am new here and have been reading all of the posts trying to learn as much as I can. I'm scared to death about next weeks custody hearing. This is my situation:

Father sued for primary physical custody 1 1/2 years ago after getting re-married. Children were 14 & 16 at the time. I agreed because they stated they wanted to try out living with Dad, since they had always lived with mom. I currently have joint legal and shared physical with ex being primary physical.

My Husband & I moved from IN to MS due to employment. Have been in constant phone contact with children and many visits from children as well as us visits to IN.

Ex halted all communication with me and would not answer phone. He refuses to alert me of any medical emergencies, doctors, absolutely NOTHING etc...stating that he is the "sole guardian" and doesn't have to.

Get a call from children on 12/26 stating that they have "run away" due to step mom stating she "hates them" and calling them b*tch*s, etc... throwing things, just miserable and they want to move back "home" with me.

I immediately fly to IN. I file to regain custody and husband & I begin to figure out how we are going to restructure our lives to move back to IN and start all over again. (we have been married for 10yrs, so the children are used to him) We will do whatever it takes for the children.

In the meanwhile, Ex has taken 16 yo child to psychiatrist and had them put on antipsychotic medication because he has "anger problems". He is angry at them! They took him to the emergency room the night he told them he did not want to live there anymore, for crying out loud! The psychiatrist will not return my repeated phone calls, even though I have faxed her the court order showing I share legal custody.

18 yo child has moved in with her boyfriends parents as of 12/26 and I am paying rent. Ex took away 18yo car because she refused to move back, so she could not get to school or work. I purchased her a new car.

Now, Ex is stating that I ABANDONED my children when I moved out of state. He stated in a phone conversation I had with him (in front of 16yo) that I am an alcoholic, a drug user and have a violent household. I am a horrible mother that has no say in anything to do with the children because he is SOLE GUARDIAN. He went as far to say that he has decided that he is only going to let me see them on the weekends and not at all during the week. 16yo also told me that Ex told the psych that I was bi-polar and an alcoholic! None of which is true!

Thanks to Ex spewing his opinions quite openly, I believe I know what he is planning on saying in court and it's all lies! How do I prove myself innocent? Or, does he have to prove me guilty? I've never been so stressed out in my life.


State is Indiana


 

[momto2teens]

I Guess No One Is Here! :+

[MixedBag]

Slow board...

based on the ages of your children, that's gonna be your greatest asset in court (IMHO).

IMHO again, counselor/psychologist can't testify and stuff or it will be fairly easy to counter IF this professional didn't involve BOTH parents and has never spoken with you.

My EX#2 and I too were far apart geographically -- and we have joint custody.  He said very similar things about me -- and you just gotta let them roll off your back instead of getting mad about it.

You may have joint legal and even joint physical, but if you're not there in town, when the kids get sick for example, YOU can't take off work and be there.  That's where the "sole guardianship" mentality takes it's hold.

[olanna]

My 15 year old (now 19) got on a plane and came home, to the opposite coast. He told his Dad he didn't want to live with him anymore. End of story.

The ex was instructed by his atty to just let it go because no court in the land would make him return if he was that unhappy in his house. By that age, what the kid does have a lot of influence.

Just some food for thought.