Cannot verify the true cost of day care

[combokid]

I recently had my CS order modified to a lower amount. 60% of my current support is child care costs. I live in NJ.

Our kids go to a day care facility owned by a friend and neighbor of my ex's. I requested and received paperwork from the day care owner showing that day care costs are what my ex is claiming they are. But it is simply a written sheet showing a monthly amount due. There is no ledger, no account form showing checks received, check numbers or check amounts. I don't believe the owner would fraudulently claim a higher amount than what my ex is paying. But I also don't think what the day care owner gave me is a satisfactory document.

I asked my ex for copies of cancelled checks for the past 2 months payments and not surprisingly, she refused. How can I determine what we are truly paying for day care? Do I have the right to see copies of cancelled checks?

This fall, my oldest child will enter public school and our day care costs will go down. I intend to send a certified letter to my ex in June asking that she cooperate and enter into a new order effective September for a lower support amount. I fully expect resistance and will no doubt be dragging her into court again on a pro se action. Any advice on what I could do until that time would be appreciated.

combokid

[Brent]

I don't know if this would work, but I'd consider sending her a subpeonea for her banking records and/or tax records, plus records relating to your children.

[patton]

First off if they stay in a daycare facility owned by a friend and neighbor, then I'm assuming this facility is registered with the STATE.  Most home day must be registered in the state I live in. You may need to check with your state and find out.

Second I would tell my ex with a copy to the daycare that if she does not comply with your request that you will be forced to turn in this daycare facility as a non registered facilty.

It sounds to me like someone is keeping your kids and not counting it on their taxes etc.

Hopefully this will light a fire under the EX and the daycare facility to comply.


Just my opinion, how to get around a very stubborn Ex!

[combokid]

Patton,

Thank you for your response. My kids go to a bonafide day care facility, not a home, it just happens to be owned by my ex's neighbor. I have little doubt that the facility is properly registered.

My dilemma is that my ex won't cough up any verification of day care expenses and the facility is not providing me with specific records of payments. The day care facility provides only a written note telling me what we spend monthly on day care and not an official account ledger displaying credits and debits.

What would help me is if I could find out if the day care facility is required to provide such an account ledger.

Like all divorced fathers out there, I don't want to give my ex a penny more than she deserves. Like many divorced fathers, I don't believe my ex is entirely open and honest about the true costs for our children.

[patton]

Most anyplace that is federally funded is required to release this type information I believe.  

You might get the FERPA letter off of SPARC and send it to them.

If they think the Federal government is going to get involved they might be a little more cooperative.

Just a thought and it might not work, but who knows.

URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/ferpa-complaint.htm

URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/recrequest2.htm

 

You might check out the URL's above and see if any of that information could help with your plight.

Good Luck!


   

[wendl]

if your daycare subsidized (sp) in anyway by the state, if so they are required to turn in forms to the state every month for hrs children are in daycare. Most daycares also keep a log of everything in which you could try and supeana(sp) them thru the courts.

At least your child goes, my dh is paying for daycare when none is needed and its suppose to be WORK related only however the hrs the bm works constitutes no need for daycare. Also my dh's ex lies to the daycare providers and they refuse to answer the phone, the door or accept dh's payment.

Just sucks. Many (not all) try to bleed the ncp dry.

[rainbow1]

You and the child support office have the right to see LEGAL proof. An actual receipt on the day care's letterhead would be standard. If your ex will not provide this you could send the owner of the day care a certified letter giving her 14 days to provide you with statement on her letterhead for as far back as three years of her charges and your ex's payments on your children's day care costs. Inform her that if you do not receive this statement and it does not show what your ex paid,when it was paid, if it was cash, check, or credit card, including any "discounts" she gave your ex, that you will be forwarding copies to the IRS, your State income taxation office, and the state day care licensing board informing them that she is refusing to provide accurate proof of charges and payments. Send a copy to your ex "for her records".

[katz]

Forgive me, there isnt split daycare costs (well there is just ncp doesnt pay it), so I really dont know how this works...

What I am wondering though is why you need to know how much the cp paid? Cant you just figure 60% on the bill, and pay that amount directly to the center?

I can honestly see why an ex wouldnt want to give up, cancelled checks, they have alot of financial information on them that I wouldnt want given out. JMO