Ex counter sues

[concerneddad]

Hello,
I am hoping to hear from some one to see if they have gone through this.  In 1997 I was made custodial parent of my son.  I am a male and I know that I am in the minority in this area.  In 1999, I took my ex-wife back to court for child support.  The Judge ruled that she was to pay the support and I was to remain custodial parent.  She claimed at that time that she was going to be having a child within the year and we settled for the 17% support.  It is now 2004 and there is still  no child on her part.  During this time I have remarried and I have another child.  New wife and I decided that one of us should stay at home with the kids instead of sending them to day care.  At the time, my new wife made the most money so I decided to become Mr. mom until the kids were old enough to goto school full time and then go back to work.  I own my own business and it is in the beginning phases ..and is not in the profit zone.  Ok, I currently am taking my ex-wife back to court for child support increase because 1) she has not had a child like she stated 2) it has been about five years and it was about time for it.  

She and her lawyer is now counter sueing me stating that since I am under employed that the child support that has been paidsince 1999 should be paid back to my ex-wife (from me) and that I am to start paying my ex-wife child support even though my child still lives with me and only visits her.  I just am really upset about this and feel that there are mothers out there that have a family get a divorce and then remarry and decide to stay home are they going through this crap as well?  Are they being told that because they are stay at home parents that they are not going to get child support from the ex spouse.  Or is it because I am in the minority and I am a male with the custody that I am now facing this.  If anyone has a thought on this or has gone through this please reply.

thanks
Concerned dad

[joni]

you don't have to pay her back.  That's ridiculous and blowing smoke up you.

She can have the CS re-evaluated.  Make sure you're both re-evaluated objectively.  Don't give into her BS about having a kid.  If she has a kid, she can file for a reduction after the kid is born but remember, her CS obligation will only be slightly reduced for  her own child and if she's not working, her old salary will be applied towards her calculation.

Regarding your potential income, the judge can impose this and evaluate CS as if you have a standard income like from your old job.  Remember to do your research on salary.com and make sure your Ex is also evaluated on the same standard.

[concerneddad]

I have not got to talk to my lawyer as of yet.  I just know that she is just out to get out of paying for my son.  I have been told that there was reasons why the judge awarded me my son and for her to pay CS.  We are going to be using the same judge so I am hoping he will put her in her place.  
You know you hear of dead beat dads, but the worse thing than that is the dead beat mom who wants nothing but to use her child as a pon.  

Thanks for your reply and I will check out your link.  Yes I kow that she can lower the CS down once a new child is born...that is not a problem.  I feel that since she lied in 1999 I think my son should be entitled to retro of that 3% each month he was not paid for the last four years.  

Thanks again
DAD

[mudbunnies]

there is a possibility that your income can be imputed....

so.. if they are going to charge you with income, and/or you decide to return to work....

ensure daycare calculations are included...

so that if your being charged for income, i would stated fine then i'm going back to work and the other parent needs to pay part of the daycare...

two fold effect... increases support to cover the actual costs, two migt make them loosen up on the imputed income, however, most states require that no matter what you will have minimum wage imputed to you...

talk to your attorney about your defense on this.

[purrrfectgirl]

PB tried to do this to DH.  Judge imputed her income at what she was making at her job,  Then he took off what would have been "daycare costs" from her income.  Said if she ever had real expenses and could show receipts then he'd calculate with the day care costs added onto CS, not taken off her income.  As for you paying her.  It will never happen unless she has your son.  Whether you work or not.  If she is NPC then she pays.  Additionally, there are some states that base the amount the NCP pays off of the income shares model (which requires a fair amount of calculation).  And then there are states that base it off of a set percent of the NCP income, no matter what the CP makes.  I don't know which state you're in so I can't say which model they use.  But find out.  It will really help you.  Additionally, look up your State's CS calculation laws.  And find out where the loop holes are to add money to her income, to subtract money form yours (your new kids), ro to add money to the CS obligaiton directly (medical expenses).  Best of luck to you!

[wendl]

I agree with the other as well.

Also if mom doesnt pay medical insurance for the child request that she carries insurance as well I know in my state both parents must provide medical insurance if it doesnt exceed a a little above there % of cs obligation, talk to your atty about that too.

Also ask for a devation in your support obligation due to other children in the household.

Good luck