Need Advice on refusing increase in CS

[azek77]

This is my first time ever on the website and the forum. There seem to be a lot of folks who are going thru the same kind of isues so i figured i would post too.
My husband's ex has recently filed a motion for increasing CS.
A little background: i'll keep it short.
This is in OH state. they have "shared parenting ", and the kids are with her on weekdays and with us on the weekends. She had started working as a realtor at the time of their divorce, but stopped when she filed for divorce in order to get the max in alimony and CS. Then she spent about 8 months after divorce training to get a her realtor traing completed..then on getting her license decided she didn't like. the next flavor of the day was to do a business in pearls from the far east. she went on a 'business trip' to the far east, and left the kids with us for 2 weeks.
On her return she filed a motion saying since her new work required her to work 9-9 7 days a week, she need $900/mo more for DC expenses.
this is in violation of the the custody agreement which stated that a motion could only be filed in court after 3 failed attempts at mediation. there were none. she just up and filed a motion.
We have just bought a new home, and i do not work, i also have a daughter, for whom i was solely resposible...dead beat ex, who has left the country for good...so in effect my husband is supporting all of us. We have had our attorney counter offer that since i am an at home mom, and the the kids in question have a wonderful room here ,and i get along well with them we will take care of them after school hours instead of spending on daycare which we can't afford.
ex's recent response was that she does not want the kids to be with ME since there are noother kids in the house( huh? i have a child ) and she is not ok with that?!!!* I am a demonstrably competent, educated( i am an MA grad) mother with a very well adjusted 12 year old ...
she has recently cultivated a new friend who lives near her where the kids are parked after school...i am assuming that as she nears the end of alimony payments, she is seeking  increasing CS payments. However as she increases her work hours should she not also be resposible for paying some more of the CS herself?
when her laywer asks DH for his payment stubs should she not be made to provide her earnings statements too?
What is wrong with the kids coming to stay with us? we have shared parenting not NCP status..
also ex has a record of a violent temper : DH has her on security surveillence video in a supermarket as she physically assaulted him, On a separate occasion she also assaulted his mom in a place of worship. she has refused his previos attempts to get treatment for a'suspected' borderline personality disorder, ('suspected' since she never went back after her first psych consult).
My question:
would a detailed parenting investigation get us the kids full time and her as the NCP?
or  what are our options? giving in to CS increases on her whim seems a very destructive and downhill option..where does all this stop?
thanks for an y replies
sincerely
azek77

[KAT]

Pretty simple really, counter file for custody due her increased work schedule keeping her from propertly parenting the children. 2. you are stay at home mom who can be there to care for them. 3 your husband will be at home in the evenings to assist with homework & related activities. Add in her violent record..could be a slam dunk.  Request support be reversed, offer to have her pay your husband 900 a month. NEENER!!! At least that's what I would do. She should be required to show proof of her income if your state is income share...but as it is here, don't expect your husbands share of financial support to decrease because of it (at least it doesn't drop much here in VA, like 10.00 a month..what a RIP OFF!).
KAT

[desperatestepmom]

Hi, I also live in Ohio and I just talked to a child support officer about child support.  The courts will do an amendment on child support every three years for free or when things change (monetarily) by 30% or more.  They go by income and if she quits her job in order to get more money they will go on her last job and what she made then.  Or they will impute an amount (by this I mean they will call the unemployment office and say she was a realator, they will find out what a realator makes according to the unemployment office and base her child support on that and what his income is.  I am dealing with his ex-wife about support/custody issues and according to Morrow County this is how they deal with parents who do not work but are responsible for the support of their child/children.  I hope this helps, Lori

[kiddosmom]

Good luck trying to get any cs from the BM! my sd'd bm is what is referred to as a 'deadbeat'

[purrrfectgirl]

deperate stepmom has great ideas.  I'll reiterate them again.  Get her income imputed.  DH's ex decided she wanted to be a SAH mom with her new baby (because she doesn't really care about DH's kids) and thought if she earned nothing then she'd get higher CS.  Well, judge imputed her at her old income and she didn't get nearly what she thought she would.  Your DH's ex's income needs to be included.  It can drastically change the amount owed.  As for DC expenses.  You can't force her to bring the kids to you as the stepmom.  But if your DH picks them up after he gets off work, then he has what's called right of first refusal.  Therefore, if he gets them when he gets off work she can't claim DC expenses beecause DH is watching the kids.  That's another way to keep that CS amount down.  I have a basic Ohio CS spreadsheet where you can plug in the relevant numbers and it can calculate the amount of CS changes with changes in circumstances.  If you'd like a copy you can email me.

As for the custody fight.  It depends on how much money you're willing to spend (it'll probably cost close to $10,000).  Also, it depends on the age of the child.  If the children are young (10 and under) then there may be a chance.  But if one or both of the children are older than that, then the child's opinion will be considered, so you'll need to check what they want before you jump into it.

Best of luck to you.

[azek77]

Thanks so much for your reply. Coincidentally that is EXACTLY what our attorney subsequently recommended. The counter motion was filed yesterday and we are waiting for the response. This is the silence before the storm!
thanks again!

[azek77]

Thanks for you reply. We have just filed a countermotion requesting that the parenting time that mother is forgoing and wanting to park the boys in daycare be awarded to us. What would be the best way to talk to a CS officer for information's sake without affecting the case in anyway. we were perfectly OK with things the way they were , but since this hornet's nest has been stirred up, we would very sincerely want to do whats best for the boys as well as give them the advantage of their father's home .  The ex is still affiliated with an real estate agency and also working at her retail business 6 -7 days a week. Not sure how that works out but thats how it appears to be.
Again i would like some advice on how to talk to a CS officer...thanks in anticipation

[azek77]

Thanks for the reply. You are probably right. What we are hoping for at this point is a reassurance that the kids are not parked in daycare/babysitters 5 days a week, and that the BM is is made accountable for her parenting methods. Also even if she retracts her need for more CS we still need proof of the above.  We have asked for a parenting evaluation also in our countermotion. Lets hope for the best

[azek77]

Thanks for the reply. The BM  in our case not only demanded more CS she very concenieintly forgot to mention the amount of spousal support she recieves in figuringout  her expenses and income. Interesting lapse of memory. I would like to recieve the OH spreadsheet  if you can email it over.
Both the boys are younger than 10 ( 7 and 3.5) so there is a whiles to go before they are asked for their opinion. I think  my husband can pick up the kids either from school etc, but it will be a stretch. Its unfortunate that i cant since the boys get along just fine with me. ..one of those things iguess.
we are still waiting to hear the result of our counter motion ....my email is [email protected]
thanks so much again...

[ConcernedCP]

Actually, in Ohio there is not automatically the right of first refusal or the non-residential parent to watch the children when the residential parent is unavailable, EXCEPT in an overnight situation.  Unless it's built into your specific visitation agreement and/or decree, first refusal relates to overnights only.  

Also, in Ohio, the child support modification request can be made every 3 years OR when their is a significant enough change of financial circumstances on either parent that the computed child support based on the new financial picture is 10% greater or less than what it was (it's not a straight 30% change in salary).  

Last, there is no set age in Ohio where a judge or magistrate must consider a child's wishes in terms of residence.  Before a determination of the parenting plan, the judge may interview the child and make a determination as to the child's maturity prior to using the child's statement in the judge's decision. However, once that parenting plan has been set, it's harder to modify.  Post parenting plan decree, a court must determine if the change in the circumstance of the residential parent, the child, or both parents in a shared parenting plan; is so significant that a modification is necessary for the best interest of the child.  The court retains the residential parent as designated in the prior decree unless it's in the best interest of the child AND one of the following applies:  1) Residential parent or in shared parenting, both parents agree to change the residence of the child.  2) the child, with the consent of the residential parent or both parents of a shared parenting plan has been integrated into the family of hte person seeking to be the residential parent.  3) the advantages of the change of environment to the child outweighs the harm caused by moving the child.  (http://onlinedocs.andersonpublishing.com/oh/lpExt.dll?f=templates&fn=main-h.htm&cp=OAC)

Since the first two require the agreement of the residential parent, the only way to get the residential status of the child changed without the current residential parent's cooperation is to show that the advantage of being with the the currently non-residential parent outweighs the harm caused by moving the child. This can be difficult to prove and easy enough to argue against.  

Good luck!