How to collect support from a mother in MN

[seandogz]

Last year I was awarded sole physical custody of my now 8 year old daughter. She has lived with me since the temporary order in April of 2003 and I have an child support order which says she is to pay about $480 in child support ($386) and Medical and Dental ($90). This is based on her earning $12 an hour. Now she is currently about 6 months pregnant and claims that she does not have the money to pay the support. She claims that she does not need to pay for the daycare because she was not part of the decision process on choosing the before and after school care (which is in her school). She also claims that she does not use the daycare because on her visistation days Tuesday (from after school till 8PM) and Friday (from after school till Saturday or Sunday every other weekend) she does to use the daycare. She also claims that she does not work enough hour because she goes to pick my daughter up from school. So the fact of the matter is she can work full time but chooses not to in order to earn her potential. Meanwhile I have worked two jobs for the last three years to pay child support and not to recover from Lawyer cost and being layed off last summer. My court date is set for July 20 and I can't afford anymore lawyer so I am seeking advise on what angles to take when approaching this. I want all of the money!! Not because my daughter and I will starve with out it but because much of the debt I am in is because of her stealing from me while we were together and the fact that she refused to do anything about the child support when I had my daughter 50/50 for a year and a half before the order. So it was OK for her to collect the money but now she does not see the same law applying to her when she is supposed to pay the support.

[stepmom74]

Sounds to me your going to have to go to court and get her for contempt of court.  If you do this, she should have to pay back support that was originally ordered--no more, no less, and she should have to pay for your lawyer fees (if the judge finds her in contempt).  She can't legally tell you what she wants to pay you.

When my husband lost his job quite a few years back and we were living on my paycheck, which was just minimum wage at the time, he was behind a few monthson support.  His ex took him to court and he had to show that he applied for certain jobs and also still had to pay the same amount he had been paying her before he lost his job.  They didn't lower it because he wasn't working.  They made him find a job that would pay her the same and he just got charged for the back pay too.

I don't think she has much chance if you take her to court again.  Talk to a lawyer on the phone and ask them if they think you can file for contempt of court.

Hope it works out!

Stepmom74

[seandogz]

Let me clarify. Her order was to start June 1 but she contested it and how we have a court date set for July 20.

Before I had custody I used to pay her $730 even though I had 50/50 Visitation. When I asked her to reduce in respect to the equal parenting time she refused. So now that the shoe is on the other foot I have not bad feelings.

[KAT]

I can't blame you one bit. I find it funny how women are all for child support as long as they aren't the ones paying it! That said, I am a woman. Being voluntarily under employed isn't going to help her (at least it shouldn't). If this happens I would appeal on obvious bias. If it's not in the court papers for her to pay daycare then she doesn't have to ...but you can probably still file for it to heard. Sic her good. I'm so tired of this crappola. The way I see it,  we need to get a bunch more women screaming how child support is  unfair (when they are made to pay) then perhaps the laws will get changed faster. Hopefully she will be such a casuality. I guess she's thinking differently about things now!! No more Mr. Nice Guy! HA!
Let us know how it turns out!
Regards;
KAT

[Peanutsdad]

hehehehehehe,

My is exactly the same way. She thought cs was a wonderful idea when she was collecting it and doing the weekly beauty parlor on it.

Now however, the shoe is on the other foot and she's not liking it one bit. I turned the case over to AG office for enforcement,, so its pretty much on them.

It's very likely you will have to file a motion for enforcement or contempt. Another approach is to go the state agency that does enforcement and let them run with it,, that way you dont have to pay an attorney.


Whats good for the goose is good for tha gander. As soon as all those squacking geese get THEIR necks wrung like us ganders have,, we'll see change.

[Bolivar OH]

Please post back here with the results.  I am curious how the court looks at mom being under employed.

Remember if a man is laid off the courts do not give him a break.  His CS payment goes into arrears.

Also, please tell me how you were able to obtain sole physical custody of your daughter?  That is rare indeed.

[hisliltulip]

Hate to break it to you, but you may end up getting screwed to some extent.

Your "poor little ex" is preggos.  My bet is that they will at a minimum reduce her payments until after new child is 6 weeks old.  I could be wrong, but expect it.

DH received custody of SS in Jan.  BM was to start paying cs Feb 1st.

BM is purposely underemployed.  Judge ordered CS at minimum wage.  ($5.15/hour), BM is actually making $7.00 per hour, but refuses to work more than 25 hours per week.  (Why, that would cut in on her partying to work a whole 40 hours a week!)

Anywho, BM is whining about the CS (which is less than $150/month) hasn't paid a cent, doubt she will unless forced.

MN sucks on enforcing CS, unless the custodial parent is on welfare.

Good luck, let us know how it goes.  Try to get across to the court in a polite way that it is NOT your child's problem that Mommy decided to have another child.  She is just gonna have to budget like the rest of us.

P.S.  Unless your custody order EXPRESSLY says that she is to help with daycare expenses (and defines how it will be split), consider yourself completely responsible.

[seandogz]

My order says she is to pay Half of daycare and medical and they only made her pay associated with our incomes.

Why don't won't they garnish the amount from her check automatically?

What is the procedure for the hearing? Do I get to speak and prove my point? Do I get to question my daughter's mother? I just need to know what the process is. So I can prepare myself as best possible.

[hisliltulip]

Since your ex was to start paying June 1, she has not accrued enough arrears for the state to even start the process of income withholding.  If you had been on assistance at the time of the order, her income would have automatically been withheld from her checks.  (Of course, if you HAD been on assistance, you wouldn't have been awarded custody anyway.  The state tends to frown upon Father's getting assistance).

DH contacted the county in May, they charged him $25 to open the case.  BM was served in June, DH may actually see some money in Aug (we'll see).

When all our crap started, DH had 50/50 joint temporary custody of SS.  Sun - Sun.  Since he made more (because he actually works) they figured his childsupport as followes.

Full Guideline support divided by two (due to having SS half the time), then gave him credit for 30% of the child care/ preschool he was paying out the weeks we had SS. (Follow that?)

Had DH not had an attorney, he could have been nailed to the wall for the full amount, but his attorney was really, really, good (great actually, we did really well there).

Yes your attorney and/or you will be able to speak on your behalf.  As will her attorney and/or her.

Is your ex still working at this time?

Are you going in front of the same Judge or a Child Support Magistrate?


Go here it might help you some.

http://www.childsupport.dhs.state.mn.us/Action/Welcome

[hisliltulip]

Sorry, I'm a moron, I just re-read your original post about not being able to afford an attorney.

So, ignore my comments about you having an attorney.

Does your ex have an attorney?  If she does, it would be a really good idea to get one yourself.  

Don't go up against an attorney.

You can go through the Department of Human Services and see if they'll help out with representing YOUR DAUGHTER.  They ain't great, but they are better than nothing.

I would also check and see if you can sit in a couple of times in court before your trial date.  See how the Judge/Magistrate handles those without attorneys, see how they handle others situations too.

Beth


3 Boys!

OSS - NCP
DS - CP
YSS - CP