I wonder how jail food tastes

[Nugo]

Hello again friends.  I guess I'm not going to last much longer.  I'm going to try to give my most recent situation in a nutshell.

I owe child support.  I'm behind, but catching up.  The Court (in VT) ordered that I pay over $600.00 per month for my daughter.  I'm a full time college student now and working full time at a popular electronics store.  

I just moved into an apartment.  The deposits kept me from paying my full amount of CS; I'd been living with family for 15 months.

The court knowingly decided my CS obligation based on an old income, and they claim (well, the one female judge who has systematically destroyed me--took my daughter from me, took all my money, now threatens to take my freedom) that I didn't have a good reason to leave the job where I made more money.

However, I provided a letter from my doctor directly to the court; I've had two knee surgeries and a back surgery.  I'm scheduled for another surgical consult in January where my family doctor has referred me to a neurosurgeon to recommend a "cage," for my L4-L5 disc problem.  

I'm going 16 hours a day, and I can't make ends meet.  The Court is F'ing me in any way they can.  I can't afford an attorney, and recently, the Court has made it clear that they don't give a dam about any injuries (well, the judge, not really the court) and that they don't care if I'm enrolled in college; they ordered that I must find employment suitable to pay that amount of support.

All this gets worse.  And to pepper the fries, guess how much my ex had to pay while I had custody (and she makes more money than I, then and now)?  $392, including arrears.

I called today and told the Court clerk that I might as well come report for jail, and drop out of my college program.  I cannot meet the demands.  

I'm having thoughts right now that would make a fantastic movie.

[reagantrooper]

Dont worry be happy! These sombitches will get thiers at some point. Maintain the faith and drive on. Hey if that judge makes you go to jail make damn sure you have a motion to modify your CS ready to file as they lead you away.

What part of VT are you in? I am in Springfield every day! I live in NH but I have a friend that is dealing with the VT court. By the way the judge is the court dont give them any slack!

GOOD LUCK TO YA!!!!!!!!!

[Kitty C.]

Have you talked to your state reps.?  I think they need to know what's happening to their constituents.

I'm not talking about 'asking' them to help, more of a letter 'informing' them what's going on in their family court system and to make them think.

Any of them in an election race right now?  NOW (or any election, for that matter) is a prime time to be hitting up candidates on issues like this.  If they're running a close race, they can look like a hero by putting something like this in the spotlight.

It's a matter of doing your homework.  If you have an incumbent who's voting record repeatedly appears to be biased against fathers, go to the opponent and have an 'interesting' talk!  It gets the spotlight needed and you never know where 'help' can come from!

Don't give up, Nugo!  You've come so far!  Talk to your docs as well.....I'm thinking you may need more than just a letter from them in regards to your condition.  They need to tell the judge DIRECTLY what would happen if you tried to work in the same field that could further damage your spine, possibly leaving you permanently disabled.  In fact, the judge MUST be told this:  With your current job and college, you ARE currently paying (just not as much as THEY would like at the moment), with the potential of paying more in the future.  But if the court tries to force you back to a postion where you could be permanently disabled, that CS would be SEVERELY reduced.  Which way would they like it?

[sad stepmother]

It's not right!! My husband is facing the same thing you are.  He became seriouly ill back in September of last fall.  He has a debilitating Rheumatic disease that is litterly causing his joints to stiffen and deform. He is going through chemotherapy and other immune suppressing treatments and takes high dose narcotic pain killers just to make it through one day.  He fell behind on his Child support was taken to court and despite having a court appointed attorney (Who by the way sucked!)He was found in contempt and sentenced to jail time every weekend if he couldn't come up with $465 every month. As you said the hearing officer(judge)didn't even care and our attorney made the situation worse by mistating why my husband can't hold a job. The hearing officer told him that he had to "find a way to work and pay up"! "That perhaps he should find a different type of job". What She (the hearing officer) didn't understand that it didn't matter what type of work my husband tried to do that with the progression of the disease and the treatments for it caused him to become do debilitated and ill that he cannot even drive a car to get to work much less stay there.  

Have you considered filing for Social Security Disability?  16 hour shifts are brutal and you are likely to injure youself if you haven't already. For my husband SSDI was his only option.  SSDI will pay your child support obligation as part of your benefits.  But it takes awile to go through the application process.  We are almost through the process and my husband should begin receiving his benefits by the end of the year.

He appealed the judge's contempt finding and has had the jail sentence stayed pending the outcome of the SSDI application.  Did you attempt to appeal the jail order so that a different judge will hear your case??  We were told that this was our best bet in getting the contempt finding and jail sentence overturned.

Let me know what you think about what I hane just mentioned.    

[MYSONSDAD]

I have followed your posts for quite some time. This whole mess stinks to high heaven. You have had enough on your plate.

I applaud you for continuing your schooling. Shows your charactor, the Judge is missing the point on this one.

Kitty brought up some very good suggestions, listen to her.

I will keep positive thoughts going your way and keep us updated...

Just a thought, my opinion only, I feel like we are in slavery.

"Children learn what they live"

[Nugo]

I'm sorry to hear about your husband.  Did you appeal to the Supreme Court of your state?  What is the statute of limitation for filing appeal?

I haven't been sentenced to jail.  I have been found in contempt, and the judge words it such that, paraphrasing, "In order to purge his contempt, father shall find full time employment sufficient to pay the full support..."  She knows this support was based on numbers from two years ago when I was making 35k, before my surgery.  

Then, when I filed a motion for clarification, telling the court that I could not believe they would want me to quit my part-time job and/or full-time school to go look for a full-time job that I'd be unlikely to be hired for and/or unlikely to be able to perform, she just said, "Father may not enroll in college or choose to work part-time in order to avoid his child support requirement..."  I never asked for that, I just want a GD fair amount!

So jail may be around the corner; I will apply for SSDI.  I've already filed for VA TDIU, where the VA (which has already rated me 50% disabled and is currently reviewing the case for a possible increase) pays you the %100 rate, unless you can hold meaningful and gainful employment for one year or longer (in which case, you're considered not in need of Total Disability due to Individual Unemployability).


I have to file an appeal if it's not too late; I also plan on contacting the Congress people/Senators in both states as somebody else suggested.  The Court is not giving me a chance.  I'm about to lose control, and I'm sure I'm capable of some dramatic shizad.

>It's not right!! My husband is facing the same thing you are.
> He became seriouly ill back in September of last fall.  He
>has a debilitating Rheumatic disease that is litterly causing
>his joints to stiffen and deform. He is going through
>chemotherapy and other immune suppressing treatments and takes
>high dose narcotic pain killers just to make it through one
>day.  He fell behind on his Child support was taken to court
>and despite having a court appointed attorney (Who by the way
>sucked!)He was found in contempt and sentenced to jail time
>every weekend if he couldn't come up with $465 every month. As
>you said the hearing officer(judge)didn't even care and our
>attorney made the situation worse by mistating why my husband
>can't hold a job. The hearing officer told him that he had to
>"find a way to work and pay up"! "That perhaps he should find
>a different type of job". What She (the hearing officer)
>didn't understand that it didn't matter what type of work my
>husband tried to do that with the progression of the disease
>and the treatments for it caused him to become do debilitated
>and ill that he cannot even drive a car to get to work much
>less stay there.  
>
>Have you considered filing for Social Security Disability?  16
>hour shifts are brutal and you are likely to injure youself if
>you haven't already. For my husband SSDI was his only option.
>SSDI will pay your child support obligation as part of your
>benefits.  But it takes awile to go through the application
>process.  We are almost through the process and my husband
>should begin receiving his benefits by the end of the year.
>
>He appealed the judge's contempt finding and has had the jail
>sentence stayed pending the outcome of the SSDI application.
>Did you attempt to appeal the jail order so that a different
>judge will hear your case??  We were told that this was our
>best bet in getting the contempt finding and jail sentence
>overturned.
>
>Let me know what you think about what I hane just mentioned.  
>

[Nugo]

Thanks for following my miserable life :D  If I finish this degree, which the VA is paying for, then I'll be qualified and licensed to teach English in a secondary, career school, or college.  It's right up my alley; the VA is paying for it...the job itself, as you know, would let me sit or stand whenever I had to.  That becomes important when you have a destroyed knee and lower spine.

This is almost surreal.  The judge seems to have this negative interest in me; like an enforcement stalker...She knows dam well that if I had a million dollars, I'd send it all to my wife (theoretically; I'd get a good attorney and try to get my daughter back first; then if that failed, I'd give the money to her :)) ).  It's not about money; I just am not in a position to earn alot right now--I desperately want to be, and I know CS is necessary.

It's funny; my ex was found not in contempt for failing to allow my daughter and I to communicate regularly and fairly for over a year.  When you really think about it, it's this simple; she got off the hook for something she could have easily provided, and I got hung for something I absolutely could not provide.

Like I said, they took my daughter, then every penny I had, and now, my freedom hangs in the balance.  Something will give, soon.  It's just a matter of what.

>I have followed your posts for quite some time. This whole
>mess stinks to high heaven. You have had enough on your
>plate.
>
>I applaud you for continuing your schooling. Shows your
>charactor, the Judge is missing the point on this one.
>
>Kitty brought up some very good suggestions, listen to her.
>
>I will keep positive thoughts going your way and keep us
>updated...
>
>Just a thought, my opinion only, I feel like we are in
>slavery.
>
>"Children learn what they live"

[sad stepmother]

Hi Nugo,

In our state (Kansas) we have 30 days to file an appeal.  If we disagree with the appeal decision, then we have ten days to file for a supreme court review of my husband's case. We are prepared to take it clear to the top!  I will also be contacting our state congressman, I also contacted Channel 4's Problem Solvers.

It looks like your on the right track.  I know that the VA can take a while to process claims but it looks as if you are headed in the right direction.

Good Luck!

[oklahoma]

"Then, when I filed a motion for clarification, telling the court that I could not believe they would want me to quit my part-time job and/or full-time school to go look for a full-time job that I'd be unlikely to be hired for and/or unlikely to be able to perform, she just said, "Father may not enroll in college or choose to work part-time in order to avoid his child support requirement..." I never asked for that, I just want a GD fair amount!"

Why is it that everyone seems to think NCP's purposefully reduce their income to avoid CS?  Do they not realize that WE have to live on a smaller income also?  The benefit of less CS does not come close to compensating for loss income.....  In the past 3 years we have cut our expenses by more than 1/2, because our income has dropped significantly, but BM gets the same amount as always.

We are going through a similar battle.  My husband was temporarily paralyzed by an on-the-job injury (due to his employer's negligence.)  He was unable to work at all for 8 months, and then only allowed back on a conditional basis.  His injury makes it impossible for him to work in his previous field.  But the CS people somehow decided he was "voluntarily" underemployed.  My husband is a full-time student now--started classes the week after they released him from the hospital.  He gets approximated $940/month in financial aid (which includes student loans) and is ordered to pay $466/month for CS.

Because of our low income and because we also have 2 children, our tax return is pretty hefty and almost covers an entire year of CS.  Essentially, we plan on the refund going straight to CS, when we start getting nasty letters, we pay another month or two, and then wait for the next year's refund to go through.  BM gets her money--although she certainly complains about it, and tells the children that their dad doesn't pay.....

BUT about a month ago, my husband received a phone call from CS caseworker who commented that he was having trouble paying the ordered amount and would he like a modification?  Go figure!?!

[MYSONSDAD]

You are moving on with your life and doing what is best for you. I wish you all the best and hope things start going your way.

Like many NCP, money is not the issue. It is time with the kids that is most valued.

With the career choice you made, would this not allow you to move closer to your daughter?

Ever hear the saying 'what goes around, comes around?' Your time will come...

"Children learn what they live"