NOW HAVE CUSTODY/CHILD SUPPORT?

[thaotherside]

I've recently obttained custody of my 14 yr, old son. I have paid child support to his mother for 12 of those years. In the begining of our divorce I was "STUPID" not only to the cunning way my ex wife used my son against me and to the family laws, I paid her in cash for four years, (I know I already admitted I was "STUPID" ) When I met my girlfriend  8 yrs. ago that all changed. My ex didn't like the fact that she couldn't push me around any more and got made at me and turned me into CSE. The records showed me as a DEADBEAT DAD! owing $26.000, which my ex knew good and well I didn't owe, but of course the courts don't see it that way, long story short, ex wrote me off for $10.000 still not right, but better than $26.000. I have been paying my current child support all this time with an extra $100 a month towards (what they all call ) the arrears. I have it down to $4.000. My question is I "NEED" child support!. No, not for myself, I pay my rent, and did before my son came to live with me, and I have always had a two bedroom so he would always have his own room so he could be just as much at "home" in my home as his mother's. So is rent an extra expense? NO!. I have always had to pay my electric bill before he came to live with me, electric may have gone up maybe, $5-$10, if that, is electric an extra expense? NO! Food? We have to eat, what"s an extra peice of chicken or pork chop? Is food an extra expense? Maybe by $5-$10. A big deal? NO!. It's the clothes he doesn't have that his mother who was getting monthly child support was suppose to be buying him, the shoes he needs because he has 1 pair that are shot, (I bought him a new pair already) The special floss he needs for his braces. and so on. Do I want her whole or even half her pay check? NO! and if any one says if you can't afford him you shouldn't have him, (as my ex says to me, diffrent now she's the one that may have to pay) is wrong. I have my son because he was getting physicaly violent towards his mother and he's a good straight A student headed down the wrong road had he remained with her, she can't control him any longer, he needs his dad! Judges words. I understand his anger towards her, I only lasted two and half years with her, but what he was doing was still wrong. Any way, what are my chances of getting child support when there is an arrears? She makes $4.000 a month income. Will the courts squash the arrears or tell me I (my son) gets zip, zero until the arrears is paid in full? I have heard so many diffrent things. I live in FL if that helps any. Thanks for any info.

[joni]

these events are mutually exclusive of one another.  your child support arrearage was from when your son lived with her.  you still owe her and should pay her accordingly.

now your son lives with you and starting today, she has to contribute to your son's living expenses.  

so you'll be paying her and she'll be paying you, until you pay her off.

[Peanutsdad]

You'll LOVE this.....


My ex really hought child support was a WONDERFUL idea...when I was paying HER.


Since custody changed and shes been ordered to pay...not one dime.

Her arrearage is 5k and counting.


So, yes, you CAN get a cs order on her,, dont count on her PAYING it.

[thaotherside]

>
>these events are mutually exclusive of one another.  your
>child support arrearage was from when your son lived with her.
> you still owe her and should pay her accordingly.
>
>

I DON'T owe her a dime, and she knows it! But as I said before, I was "STUPID" then and paid her cash for four  years and NO WAY to prove it. The courts say I owe her, so of course that means I "OWE HER"
I never would have gone for custody of my son (taken him from his mother) if he
1). hadn't ran away from home 3 times,
2). breaking her things and putting holes in her walls when angry with   her,
3). him pushing her and knocking her down when angry with her,
4). had she taken him to cousalor for anger management, (which she considers, her own words " a f***ing joke. he's in couseling here.)
5). if his future wasn't in jepordy for his actions, and for HER saftey!
6) her kicking him out," go live with your father" when I go to get him she would say "NO" he's not going. (2 hr. trip one way!)

I have had him since Septeber, and on their third visit together, they made it 10 minutes down the raod (which I left right behind them) and when I got home at 7:30, my son was home. They got into a huge fight, my son was punching her dash board and she brought him back and dropped him off! I have no cell phone , so no way to get a hold of me. My girlfriend and I had planned on going to vero beach to do some extra work for the weekend, we changed our  minds that morning, and I would say it was a good thing. He would have been alone all weekend.
I don't blame her for brining him back, he was wrong for doing that, but she should have waited to see if I was even going to come back home. (she lives 2 hours away) I don't care if she sat in her car for 2 hours and waited! That was wrong and dangerouse. Apparently I can't even go away for the weekends she has him, JUST IN CASE! A cell phone is obviously a priority now. I am trying to rebuild their relationship, through my son being in couseling and he was punished for doing what he did while with her for those 10 minutes, I want my son and his mother to have a relationship, I will NEVER stop her from seeing him for any reason, but if this keeps happening even during weekends together I may have to request supervised visitations. The judge did court order her to come here to my county to attend counseling with him, if she does is or not is another story, with her attitude about couseling I can't see it happening or helping. Only time will tell. Till then I will continue to do what I am doing with or with out child support, weather I have to pay her or not. My son and his future is the most important thing here, and I will do whatever it takes to guide him in the right direction!

[thaotherside]

Does she have a job? if so ,do you have an IDO (Income deduction order). Would she turn you in to CSE if their the ones handling your support or take you to court for contempt herself? if yes, whats good for the goose is good for the gander. If no, then better she wear the tag DEADBEAT MOM, than you. You know you have done your part in your kids lives, and that's worth more than any amount of money! GOOD-LUCK!

[KAT]

I'm fine with making her pay support. The more women that are forced to financially support their children because they are only allowed to be a visitor is what we need to change the laws. Sock it to her I say. Go for everything, medical, dental, vision,  college, counseling....the entire ball of wax. Let the judge figure out if he wants to offset your faux arrears or force you to continue to pay. Just file NOW & let the chips fall where they may.
KAT

[Peanutsdad]

Yes I have an with holding order, yes I've had the state follow up on contempt. Yes she HAD a job,, 40k a year,, she promptly QUIT it and the court promptyly REDUCED the cs order to a level consistant with min wage. How bout them apples? How many dads out there got reduced when they quit a job?

Problem being, they cant seem to serve her, so now, the Texas AG office,, has elected to "not pursue enforcement". That was the last letter I got from them.


I got a hellova chuckle outa that.

[KAT]

"Mr. KAT, I'm NOT awarding you back child support because she doesn't have the means to pay. She has no job. She is indigent & now needs your money to pay HER bills". So said the judge when denying motion to show cause/contempt for the biotrolls failure to pay cs in the amount of 20 per week for 7 years. Thus awarding Mr. KAT with an order to pay her over 2 GRAND a month. Hidden alimony? YA THINK????
Just like yourself, CSE stated for YEARS, *WE CAN'T FIND HER* *Whoops, lost your paperwork!!* even though they were given the address & car tag numbers.
BIAS, BIAS, BIAS.
KAT