new spouses income and assets

[gemini3]

I just got a reply from Socrateaser on a seperate question that said I should never co-mingle funds with my fiance (and I'm assuming wife once we are married) or share joint assets as long as I have a support obligation because my ex-wife could "attach" my fiance's assets.  What does this mean??  

Has anyone else heard of this?  I didn't know that someone could go after someone else's income or assets like this.  That makes no sense to me at all.  My support obligation didn't decrease when my ex-wife and the kids moved in with a man who makes twice what I do.  Why would my obligation increase due to my fiance's income and assets??

Someone please explain this to me...

[Ref]

It makes sense. Listen. It sounds like you have a crazy one on your hands. My best advice is to CYA and to simplify everything.

Keep your finances seperate for the most part. Each of you should have a seperate account and maybe a small joint account for big purchases. This will keep the judge and your ex out of your fiance's business. They aren't supposed to dip in to her $, but if it isn't dead obvious that it isn't yours, they might be inclined to do so.

Also, your fiance signing check is probably seen by your ex as a stab. Believe me, when BM has been a giant pain the a$$ I know I like to make sure I answer the phone so she gets to hear my voice. You may want to let this one go though. It is way more important for you to get proof of the payment than getting a cheap thrill or convience.

Try this. Some Clerks of the Court accept payments for about $5 a month. They record receipt and send it to your ex. It is cheaper than certified and it is better evidence because they actually see the check. Contact the court house and see if they have this programs. Dh sends to the Family Law division, or juvenial justice center.... Just make sure you are on time with your payments because they are just as good at recording late payments as they are recording the ones on time.

Best wishes
Ref

[gemini3]

Hi Ref.  I hear what you're saying, even though I think the whole thing is ridiculous.  I didn't sign the check as a stab, I did it because he's out of town for work and his ex cancelled her account with DSCE (she was mad because she wanted more money than what they said she should get).  He has to start paying her directly, so he asked her how she wanted him to pay her - if she wanted to pick up a check, him to mail it, etc.  (she only lives 20 minutes away and we see her every weekend to get the kids).  She never responded, so I mailed it to her.  He's in the military, so sometimes it's hard for him to mail a check on short notice.  We would rather it be mailed by me that for it to be late, and you would think she would feel the same.

We had no idea it would turn into something like this.  Sheesh.  You'd think after more than two years after a divorce that SHE initiated she'd be over this kind of thing.  I personally think she's just angry because we're engaged (it hasn't been that long), and hopefully she'll adjust and get over herself.  I don't understand why she's upset though - SHE left HIM over two years ago.  It's very frustrating to have to deal with crap like this, and all of the other stuff she's pulling right now, when you just want to be excited that you're getting married.  I feel like she's just trying to make life difficult for us because she doesn't want him to be happy - but I don't understand why she feels like that.  She got what she wanted - she's living with the man she left my BF for.  

Anyway.... sorry to vent.  And thanks for all of your good advice.  :o)

[Ref]

BM refused communication with my DH because he sent it FedEx with my name on the return address. It was my account so it defaulted to it. Later it was because the FedEx guy knocking on her door was intimidating and scared her so that she shook for hours. He sent letters certified. Then she called it harrassment. This has been 13 years since their split-up and it has only gotten worse.

Try the Clerk thing. That way she can't object even if she gets it with your signature. Just to keep things from getting uglier, I would suggest BF write the check prior to leaving and have you mail it out. I know, she is a pain in the a$$, but the less you have to hear from her the better.

Ref

[Giggles]

CYA BIG TIME!!!!

Make sure you write clearly on the check that it is for CHILD SUPPORT!!  Better yet (and this will really get her panties in a wad), have him go back and "Re-open" the DSCE case that way all payments go through them, they are documented as PAID and there is NOTHING she can do about it!!

Also, I think what Soc meant about being able to attach your assets, is if you are "Co-ower" of the home and he gets behind on the CS, they can attach the house and therefore seize YOUR assets.  That is why Soc suggests to keep everything seperate.

As for her behaviour....sigh...don't you realize that she doesn't want him, but at the same time, NOBODY should be able to have him.  He must suffer for her and cannot have a life...*rolling eyes*

[Jade]

>CYA BIG TIME!!!!
>
>Make sure you write clearly on the check that it is for CHILD
>SUPPORT!!  Better yet (and this will really get her panties in
>a wad), have him go back and "Re-open" the DSCE case that way
>all payments go through them, they are documented as PAID and
>there is NOTHING she can do about it!!
>
>Also, I think what Soc meant about being able to attach your
>assets, is if you are "Co-ower" of the home and he gets behind
>on the CS, they can attach the house and therefore seize YOUR
>assets.  That is why Soc suggests to keep everything
>seperate.
>
>As for her behaviour....sigh...don't you realize that she
>doesn't want him, but at the same time, NOBODY should be able
>to have him.  He must suffer for her and cannot have a
>life...*rolling eyes*

Even if he writes child support on the checks, unless it goes through the courts via wage garnishment, it could still be viewed as a gift.

My ex paid me with a check before the Probation Dept.  kicked in and garnished his wages.  I even wrote him a note stating that it was for child support and that there were no arrears.  They sent me an affadavit that I had to have notarized.  If I did not do that, then they would have made him pay twice.  BTW, I did sign it and send it in.

If you want to CYA, have the child support garnished from your wages.  That is your only guarantee.

Another thing that you may want to keep in mind is that you may not be exempt from her putting a lien on assets acquired AFTER the second marriage unless it can be proven that it is from an inheritance that the stepparent received.  Other than that, an argument can be made that it is marital (which it is) property and that at least half of it belongs to the NCP who is not paying child support.  

Your best bet is to keep current on child support and have it garnished from wages so there is proof payment.