New here...and a few questions

[SeabeeMom]

I am a non custodial mother.

It wasn't by choice...I edited out some details from a blog in case they are searching for anything I type....as this IS a public forum...please pm me if you have any questions.

I am hardly unfit. I am a 911 operator and paramedic. He ran me into the ground during the divorce and he has ties in the system that I didnt.....knowing attys, etc..

here is where one of the problems started....sorry this is so long!

Going into the divorce, he was to pay me 750 in alimony. As he got residental custody, of course, I was to pay support. 559.00 a month. (this was calculated on my wage of 13.06 and hr-I have since gotten up to my 18.00 hr) Nice huh? follow with me.

On the DAY of divorce, my atty said his was asking for 94/bi weekly for latchkey. Now, 750-559=191 which should have GONE in my pocket.But, it was passed anyways. So instead of coming out 200 AHEAD, I was 200 behind.

Now, I thought that after the two yrs, as my atty stated this.... it goes up to original order of 559.00. Nuh uh. I guess they put it in as *school costs* and added that to my order. so, my friends, I got whacked with 357.00 a pay out of my check, rather than the 250.00.I opened my check and I cried. 700.00 a month? What am I supposed to live on?

Furthermore, mr not about money called them to make sure they knew the order went up. It was my understanding that 200.00 was for 2 yrs and NOT in addition to the support.

So, I paid this for two yrs....My ex mocked me, stating on the phone that THAT is the order and how it was to be and was quite smug about it....the ink did not dry on my CS checks to him and he took my kids out of school for 10 days to go to Hawaii to marry the mistress. I know you all know how these kinds of things can stick in your craw...

I continued to talk to CS which in Ohio is the most gawd awful attitude filled place I have ever dealt with. The stated it wasnt their fault, and I have TWO orders and will need an atty to remove the 94/wk.

Bided my time till I could ask for a modification. I did...and altho my income went up, so did his...and I was ordered to pay 614 instead of 559.00 (I was careful to keep my income the same yr after yr with OT and the paramedic job...)

BUT...the 94/biweekly stood, which meant my order would be 800.00 a month.

I objected and it was passed directly to the court system. I did not get an atty, we were to see a magistrate.

Ex's atty comes over and tells me CS screwed things up, royally and I am getting a CREDIT of 4800.00, as that 94 should have never been added and that is the amt for 2 yrs of overpayment....SUCCESS!!!

As our son needs braces, MY portion would come out of that 4800.00 somehow (for my half) and the 94 is taken off the order as of march 1st.

And ex has 1000 in medical bills from last yr all of a sudden and would like to deduct that from my neg balance. (which, I follow all the claims to my insurance and my copays on both children for what his ins and mine didnt pay add up to 155.00..I looked when I got back home and printed them out.)

He wants to write something up to where my support will be 100.00 less every month until the neg balance is ate up and we can avoid going to court and I can just sign papers and agree to whatever we decide. Ex was very quiet.

The magistrate was VERY nice and stated CS hurt me and screwed up in a way she has never seen.

I am thinking, my ex sure didnt MIND in fact RUBBED it in my face and did NOTHING and took my 200.00 each month, and NOW I am credited 100 a month? And now he is trying to eat up my credit by using medical bills of which came to light RIGHT NOW!??! I never got a call on what was owed.

His atty isnt supposed to be nice to me, so I am wondering if since ex KNEW he was unjustly enriched at my expense if that is something HE can get in trouble for.....

And wondering if I should get an atty....Of course, I believe I should....but has anyone ever heard of this?

Edited by TraumaMamma (02/10/07 03:22 PM)

[Jade]

>I am a non custodial mother.
>
>It wasn't by choice...I edited out some details from a blog in
>case they are searching for anything I type....as this IS a
>public forum...please pm me if you have any questions.
>
>I am hardly unfit. I am a 911 operator and paramedic. He ran
>me into the ground during the divorce and he has ties in the
>system that I didnt.....knowing attys, etc..
>
>here is where one of the problems started....sorry this is so
>long!
>
>Going into the divorce, he was to pay me 750 in alimony. As he
>got residental custody, of course, I was to pay support.
>559.00 a month. (this was calculated on my wage of 13.06 and
>hr-I have since gotten up to my 18.00 hr) Nice huh? follow
>with me.
>
>On the DAY of divorce, my atty said his was asking for 94/bi
>weekly for latchkey. Now, 750-559=191 which should have GONE
>in my pocket.But, it was passed anyways. So instead of coming
>out 200 AHEAD, I was 200 behind.
>
>Now, I thought that after the two yrs, as my atty stated
>this.... it goes up to original order of 559.00. Nuh uh. I
>guess they put it in as *school costs* and added that to my
>order. so, my friends, I got whacked with 357.00 a pay out of
>my check, rather than the 250.00.I opened my check and I
>cried. 700.00 a month? What am I supposed to live on?
>
>Furthermore, mr not about money called them to make sure they
>knew the order went up. It was my understanding that 200.00
>was for 2 yrs and NOT in addition to the support.
>
>So, I paid this for two yrs....My ex mocked me, stating on the
>phone that THAT is the order and how it was to be and was
>quite smug about it....the ink did not dry on my CS checks to
>him and he took my kids out of school for 10 days to go to
>Hawaii to marry the mistress. I know you all know how these
>kinds of things can stick in your craw...
>
>I continued to talk to CS which in Ohio is the most gawd awful
>attitude filled place I have ever dealt with. The stated it
>wasnt their fault, and I have TWO orders and will need an atty
>to remove the 94/wk.
>
>Bided my time till I could ask for a modification. I did...and
>altho my income went up, so did his...and I was ordered to pay
>614 instead of 559.00 (I was careful to keep my income the
>same yr after yr with OT and the paramedic job...)
>
>BUT...the 94/biweekly stood, which meant my order would be
>800.00 a month.
>
>I objected and it was passed directly to the court system. I
>did not get an atty, we were to see a magistrate.
>
>Ex's atty comes over and tells me CS screwed things up,
>royally and I am getting a CREDIT of 4800.00, as that 94
>should have never been added and that is the amt for 2 yrs of
>overpayment....SUCCESS!!!
>
>As our son needs braces, MY portion would come out of that
>4800.00 somehow (for my half) and the 94 is taken off the
>order as of march 1st.
>
>And ex has 1000 in medical bills from last yr all of a sudden
>and would like to deduct that from my neg balance. (which, I
>follow all the claims to my insurance and my copays on both
>children for what his ins and mine didnt pay add up to
>155.00..I looked when I got back home and printed them out.)
>
>He wants to write something up to where my support will be
>100.00 less every month until the neg balance is ate up and we
>can avoid going to court and I can just sign papers and agree
>to whatever we decide. Ex was very quiet.
>
>The magistrate was VERY nice and stated CS hurt me and screwed
>up in a way she has never seen.
>
>I am thinking, my ex sure didnt MIND in fact RUBBED it in my
>face and did NOTHING and took my 200.00 each month, and NOW I
>am credited 100 a month? And now he is trying to eat up my
>credit by using medical bills of which came to light RIGHT
>NOW!??! I never got a call on what was owed.
>
>His atty isnt supposed to be nice to me, so I am wondering if
>since ex KNEW he was unjustly enriched at my expense if that
>is something HE can get in trouble for.....
>
>And wondering if I should get an atty....Of course, I believe
>I should....but has anyone ever heard of this?
>
>Edited by TraumaMamma (02/10/07 03:22 PM)
>

In my opinion, you should have an experienced family attornery with you whenever you go to court.  

I would also push to have a time limit set on submitting medical expenses.  Such as he has 30 days to provide you with a receipt or you don't have to pay.  

[MixedBag]

not sure I've ever read where someone successfully went back to court and the other parent "got in trouble" for being unjustly enriched.

I think you're lucky that someone in a place of "power" recognized that you were overpaying and deserved a credit at all.

I also know you've been here (and there) long enough to where I am confident you can do a CS hearing and stuff on your own.  Contempt is a bit harder, but you (now) know the rules and laws regarding CS.

On a scale of 1-10, yes, you can probably sue your EX for emotional stress and duress....but then again WHY?  Just to pick another fight with him?

That's just gonna upset you more in the long run.

If you really get that credit, then let it go and move on.  CS got fixed to what it was supposed to be.

About those medical bills, I would make sure that his figures are correct.  Then pull your order and see what it says regarding that subject.  And that should tell you which way to go.

I would also make sure that you "got" all of your alimony payments.

Stand your ground where your rights are so that you can also take care of that child of yours.

And good luck!