Should we modify?

[Renee]

The current stipulation for visitations reads that my DH will have the children Wednesday at 3pm until Monday at 8am every other week during the school year and every other week during the summer.  There are five kids.

However, one of the kids is seriously PAS'd and doesn't come anymore but the oldest is with us majority of the time except for every Thursday night and every other weekend.  

The CS went from $1300 a month to $957 per month due to the fact that we have them more.  

We also pay for all  extra curricular activities for  the youngest two and next year we will pay for all activities for the oldest three while BM pays for the youngest two.  Three of the children bowl on a league and we are 100% responsible for those costs.  

We are not allowed to claim any children for taxes.  BM would not sign divorce papers if DH didn't agree to that.   We are now in the process of having the judge change the language to state that the kids we are paying for extracurricular activies that year , we get to claim for tax purposes.  My DH also just got done paying for $40000 dollars worth of braces that she put three of the five kids in when we agreed to only do one at a time.  We also pay for school lunches on the days we have them.

DH asked BM about CS changing to help us with the cost of having one of the kids more and she said that since one of the kids doesn't ever come that it will go up.  She said the abatement(for us) is already figured in for the one not coming and that she would get an abatement for the child that goes to her house less.  We want for the one child to come but BM doesn't enforce it.  I thought this would be considered comtempt.  

Anyway, I was trying to give you a snapshot of the situations but my main question is how do we figure out if we should just leave it alone or try to modify without it hurting us.  We have no problem supporting the kids but now that one is here more why would we pay her the entire amount for him?  I have four children of my own and support almost solely as my ex doesn't have as good a job as me but when we give BM the entire amount and don't get compensated for having my SS more then it affects everyone in this household as well.  

Oh I almost forgot BM isn't working and hasn't for the past year.  She is capable just won't.

Where can I find a calculator that will add in the variations when insurance, extra days, etc are not figured in?   It isn't giving me an accurate number due to these factors.

[Ref]

That will give us somewhere to start

[Renee]

THank you.........We are in South Dakota

[Ref]

http://dss.sd.gov/childsupport/services/obligationsdetermined.asp

Remeber to factor in the costs associated with court for an accurate financial analysis.

Ref