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Please help....BM contesting custody!!

Started by annas mom, Nov 22, 2004, 07:48:14 AM

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annas mom

I'm looking for help for my cousin. He was granted full legal and physical custody of his 5 year old daughter 3 months ago when her mother, who has never really been around anyway, neglected to show up for court. Now, he has been served with papers stating that he has to appear in court on Dec. 21st because she is contesting his custody order.
A little background: My cousin was never the model teenager. He was into some bad things and in and out of jail, but when his daughter was born he really turned his life around.  BM, however, did not. When his daughter was less than a year old, BM took off and was not heard from for over a year. About 3 years ago, BM came back around and has never been denied the chance to see her child when she calls for her. However, that being said, she's only seen her 12-15 times in the last 3 years. When the daughter (referred to as SW from here on out) started school this year a child in her class asked her about her mommy and her teacher overheard her tell the child that she 'didn't have one of those.' The teacher said SW did not seem distraught about it in the least, it was just a matter of fact statement.  Anyway, to make a long story short, my cousin is the middle child of 3 boys. The youngest is a family man, married with a 6 year old daughter and the oldest never really mended his ways. This past Friday some guys tried to kill him. He was shot in his right arm, but luckily got away. When he was released from the hospital Saturday, his brothers' immediately drove him to the airport and put him on a plane to NC (where his mother and I both live). My 2 cousins that remain in CA want to move their families out here because they fear that these men may come after their families as retribution, because the one they are after is no longer in town.  At this point, we don't know what to do. My cousin wants to protect his child and having full legal and physical custody I would assume he has every right to move her, but how do we keep the judge (commissioner) from giving BM scheduled visitations that she never keeps anyway? We would be more than happy to split the cost of transportation for her to come here to see SW a couple of times a year, but SW could possibly be in danger if she doesn't move soon. It's so tempting just to tell him to bring SW and run. I mean, seriously, what are then chances that they'll actually find them, and even if they do, all they can do is get him for failure to appear in court....but we don't want to break the law. This is such a difficult situation and I'm sure that I've left something out (my thoughts are so jumbled right now). Any advice would be most appreciated. Let me know if you need clarification on anything. Oh yeah, he's in Long Beach in LA County. Thanks!