Intro to Myself

[kcjean]

Hello, I ran across this site and already left a post about an unlawful name change situation but I also wanted to introduce myself.
My name is KC and the children ALWAYS in question are Hope,9, and Faith,5,(not their real names)  My husband and I have been together for 6 years and in the beginning, the ex had custody.  She was very bitter towards him and spent most of her energy trying to destroy his relationship with his children and ours.  It is very very hard and there were times we thought we could go no further.  my husband lost jobs because he was in court so much (once, I got Hope a haircut and we had to go in front of the judge, once we brought Hope to the doctors for an inner ear infection, the flu and a stomach virus and she tried to have him arrested.)  We lost our apartment and she filed claims of abuse against us.  It was horrible and I almost left many times.  She has even called my ex husband and my ex boyfriend to dispute claims that our youngest daughter is not really my husband's child (this, she still persists with and have even told Hope so.)  
In March of 2001, two days before Hope's 6th birthday it finally paid off though and she has been in our home ever since.  The only problem is we fought so long, we did not have the energy to fight for the younger sibling.  Mom immediately filed a protective order, stating my husband threatened to kill her (3 months before hand) and was violent during the marriage (four years before!) but nonethless, here is Hope.  She has lived with us three years now and Mom got married the minute the papers were signed, her new hubby joined the military and she moved to Florida.  Since then she has not visited but twice and once is because now of course she wants full custody back.  Three years later.  It doesn't end, it never will and as soon as this is done, we are filing on Faith because she does not even know my husband anymore.  Mom changed her last name, won't give her our presents our cards unless he writes Mike on them and we are not allowed to talk about it nor is Raven or her mom will yell at her.
Hope has been in counseling for two years.  Her mom came to see her last week and told her she will be moving her away after court and she won't see her dad as much.  Now Hope, a straight A, happy kid, is having daily stomach aches and headaches.  She doesn't want to eat or sleep.  Poor thing.
Overall though I just wanted to let anyone going through it know, especially dads, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.  We did tons of research and talked to a lot of people.  We kept notebooks (now on our third!) of every conversation.  We keep the guardian informed and mail everything certified.  There is nothing we do not document and it is pain staking but worth it.  We talk to the counselor, GAL and school people regularly and we have stayed in the same home for five years now.
It is really hard but in the end, the liar does get what is coming to them.
As for her bad mouthing my child, I don't think there is anything I can do to stop it....if someone has suggestions, I would love to hear them.

This forum is what dads need to survive the mess and I am sorry to be a woman when so many pull the crap they pull against the father.
KC

[ksmomof2girls]

KCJean

WELCOME!!!!

I was in the chat room this morning for a few minutes.

Not only is this site good for Dads, but its also good for NCMom's like myself.

(please excuse all typoes...typing 1 handed..just had surgery last week)

Has a paternity test been done on Faith yet, to make aure your DH is her Father?  If the Mom won't allow one to be done, then I would request the courts to order one.

Here is something interesting I found on unlawful name changing.  I am going to post the web address. I am not going to post everything on the site, just what it says about unlawfu name change.

http://www.lectlaw.com/files/fam17.htm

CHANGING A CHILD'S NAME

When a custodial parent seeks to change either a child's given name
(first name) or surname (last name), the change is permitted in most
states as long as the court determines it to be in the best interest of
the child.  A child's name cannot legally be changed without a court
order, however. In some states, courts refuse to grant a name change if
one parent objects.


So far that is all I can find.  I will try to search for more when I feel like being on the computer again  or when I have time.

Can you tell us what state you are in?  You stated that BM is in Florida correct?

You might want check out the articles that Sparc has on PAS(Parent Alienation Syndrome)

You can post any questions you in this area, in custody issues or anywhere on the board that fits you question.

Have fun with this board. It has helped me out a bunch.

[c_alexander]

Dear KC,
Glad to have you. please do not be sorry to be a woman, to be honest we have a lot of women on the board who are very supportive as well. Although some guys do, I do not blame all women for my ex wife being a poo poo head...haha.
To be honest I think that this board is slowing moving to be more of a non-custodial parents board rather then just a fathers rights board, although it would seem that the number of non-custodial men will always outnumber the women.
Anway just wanted to say welcome to the board. We can use all the support and help we can get.

[Bolivar]

First,,, Welcome KC :-)



C Alexander,  I saw your post at Yahoo group Dads Right
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Dads-Rights/

You have a beautiful daughter.  I  have not had time to read entire BLOG, but I did scan through the site and I see you are moving forward to be with your daughter.

Best of luck :-)

I agree 100% with SPARC policy of not advertising one owns personal material.

I thought your story was interesting and certainly deserves a free plug.  Your story gives me hope.  Keep trying, and that know matter how far down the latter we have slid there is always some action we can take to better ones condition.

--------------------------------------------------------------


From:  "Chris"
Date:  Tue Jan 18, 2005  3:00 am
Subject:  Father desperate for help


I am a non-custodial father whos rights have been trampled. My
daughter and I desperately need help. PLease read my webiste at:
http://help-a-dad.blogspot.com/ for more info.

Thank you,
C Alexander

[c_alexander]

Thanks Bolivar, however SPARCS requested for me not to post my link here and I want to respect their wishes. I will gladly give anyone a link to the web page which not only lists my own story, but ALSO links to other non-custodial parents rights pages such as the recently added K-Rights online Radio station at: http://www.krightsradio.com/

Although I guess since I did not post it, it's not really break the rules huh? thanks for the free plug. I hope my story can perhaps inspire others to NEVER give up.

Sincerely,
Chris Alexander
[email protected]

[kcjean]

Thanks for the support.  I did not mean to sound like all women were bad because I know they are not, it's ones like this that make us look really bad and any non custodial parent has horrible trials to face.
I have checked out the law and sent one letter to the school which they did not return.  I found the great sample letter on this site w/FERPA info and I am going to send that for my husband too.
We live in VA and it is illegal to change her name but we can't find what exactly we need to do about it.  Usually things are simple to find in J&DR but criminal law is something I have worked very little with.
So best of luck to me and everyone else dealing with this stuff and I look forward to chatting soon!
KC

[ksmomof2girls]

 have checked out the law and sent one letter to the school which they did not return.

To make sure that thet get it.....send everything cert mail to schools, doctors, etc.