Things are getting really weird--hopefully our benefit

[tulip]

PBFH took kids to AK on Xmas day. The judge told her not to, but she did anyway. She filed a modification of custody that was presented to her in Sept and she absolutely refused to sign. So then dh had to take her to court, and all the other bs. A new modification was sent to her after court which addressed the issues that were discussed in court (one being the agreement that they would go to mediation)--she claimed she never got anything but the papers from Sept.

The holiday schedule was switched (must have been a mistake by dh's atty.) so it states that she gets them Xmas day this year. It also states that they have joint custody and that she was to bring them back Dec 26 at 9:00am. Of course she didn't, because she is in AK, so dh filed a police report. She is in contempt of this court order that she pushed through secretly at the last minute. We didn't even know that she was doing this until noon on Xmas eve.

DH thinks that now that they have joint custody, it is also illegal for her to take the kids out of the state without his consent. Is this true? She got the message that the police tried to contact her, and now she is pretty bummed out. She actually wants dh to go into court and say this is all okay, so she doesn't get in any trouble. She is not bringing the kids back to our house until Jan 4 late in the day or evening. This will be another violation of the order she signed, since it states that he can pick the kids up Sunday morning before church for the start of his week.

[lucky]

for every violation of the order.  Granted, the judge signed the order allowing her to have the kids on Xmas day, BUT he did NOT say, go ahead and go to AK.  Also, file contempt for the missed mediation and all.  

Hell, file it all and ask for sole custody.  I think that this judge will probably be a little po'd at pbfh for playing games to get her own way and THEN blowing off what he'd already told her.  What a shock that will be to her to get the request outlining the screwups (within a couple months) requesting that she now be NCP with no CS -- 'cause I don't think that the judge will have forgotten what she's done yet!

[jurroppi1]

I'd file criminal charges also. Criminal code 609.26, felony charges. The only way these women will learn is if they pay severe penalties! %Right now it's obvious she could give a shit about the children's relationship with their father, so it's about time you start caring less about her, and force her to realise you mean business and will pursue every legal avenue available when she pulls this crap. Of course like I mentioned above, you can get hobbled by the court system if they refuse to do anything meaningful about it.

Incidentally I have a friend that had a similar issue with his ex this Christmas, he already filed felony charges.

[tulip]

He's really making me mad. DH thinks that we cannot file contempt charges, only the judge can do that. Atty won't do anything. He has filed a motion to get the order modified to what was agreed to in court. He said it would be a very bad idea to file for sole custody, which I don't understand at all.

[jurroppi1]

Tell the attorney you want criminal charges filed, and a motion to show cause as to why she shouldn't be held in contempt filed! The attorney works for you! If the attorney won't file, fire them, and find a good one!

[misstifyd]

We had done that to dh's ex and we did it without an attorney, the filing part but then the ex got an attorney and we did also.
Jurro is right...not much gets done to the ex for what she is doing but we did get the kids immediately after court for a week for makeup time.
It did stop the ex from denying visitations for about 2 months...then well after her turning things around and saying dh wasn't showing up for the pickups and the GAL believeing her and not the audiotapes we had of her calling and saying do not come and get them and a bad attorney....dh gave up and now he hasn't seen the kids in 8 months.
It is a long road but if your husband is strong and can withstand then keep going...my problem was that I did all the leg work and documentation and when dh needed to step up to the plate for his children he backed down. I feel bad for the kids and yet I understand his reasoning but yet...they are his children...anyway good luck to you two and stay strong!

[spinner]

How do you file a one count of contempt?

my divorce is finaly final and she is violating it all over but attorney want it to rest says do the best of it and I disagree and cost are high so
I want to try contempt pro-se

how do you start a one count of contempt? can't you do more than one at once ?

[spinner]

I guess same question here, I guess I asked the police for charges many time she agressed me, the police says there is a kid, go back to court blablabla and does nothing, what's the procedure ?

[misstifyd]

First off nope the police will not usually help. They will only document certain things and that is only if you are persistent and sweet as sugar which can be difficult at times when things are being all twisted.

To file contempt all you have to do is go and get the papers from the courthouse for contempt for denial of visitations or custody. They are rather easy to fill out and in them you say what court order is not allegedly being followed and give dates and times that the order was not followed and be specific.
Very easy to do and the court administrators office should be able to answer questions.
Good luck!

[jurroppi1]

when there are criminal charges involved, they must file, and take action. You report a felony to the police, assert that she has absconded with, or concealed the child during your court ordered parenting time, and that it is a felony offense, and that you want the charges filed! Tell them you'll make a written statement when they file charges. Willful denial of parenting time (READ: deprivation of parental rights), is a felony crime, it is a violation of the criminal code!