Out of state father's rights

[wolfmoon]

Hello All,
  I am the Father of a wonderful little boy that lives in Minnesota, and I live in New York. I try and see my son on every other holiday ( the way his mother wants it) but latley she's been unwilling to let me have him on major holidays. I try and see my son as much as possible, and I pay support and have him covered on my health insurance (which she refuses to use.) It is very expensive to go and visit him, and even more expensive for him to come see me, but my wife and I do our best. My question is, without ever having been to court and/or having any visitation orders in place, what are her resposibilities as far as me seeing my son? Does she have to meet me halfway? Can I get a visitation schedule set up that will let me see my boy and not break me financially? Someone please help! If anyone has any information, has been through the same ordeal, or has info on legal representation, please, please contact me. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

[TJRodolph]

Was the child born in MN? What county do they live in now? If you are paying child support, then I am assuming you do have a court order. I am betting it just says you have reasonable visitation right? If the child has lived in MN any length of time, then jurisdiction is going to be in MN (I live in MN). You would have to file a motion for Parenting Time Assistance in MN. You can file Pro Se. Then you will get a date for a motion hearing (lasts about 30 minutes). Both you and the custodial parent have to show up. The judge will then usually order mediation, if mediation isn't successful, then the judge usually orders an investigation, which the investigator will submit his recommendation to the judge and then you have your evidentiary hearing (but if both parties agree, you can ask the judge to submit affidavits in lieu of the evidentiary hearing since you live out of state). You submit your affidavit and wait for the order in the mail. If you have been established the father, you are entitled to parenting time. What your exact schedule will be is for the judge to decide (unless both parties can come to an agreement). If you are filing pro se, you can fill out a form to waive all filing fees. Which will also waive your fee for the mediation. All MN counties have websites, where you can download the forms you need to file. You will need the Motion for Parenting Time Assistance, Affidavit in Support of Parenting Time Motion, and then the waiver of fees form. You won't be able to just mail in these forms to court, you have to appear, or have someone go to court house and submit them for you. They also have to be notorized.

You need to be very specific in your affidavit also, list exactly what dates you want, what you want reagrding transportation costs (usually each party has to pay 1/2 of airfare, or one drives to drop off and the other drives to pick up) List how often you see the child now, and every interference the custodial parent has caused when you wanted to see your child.

As far as your question.....unless you have an actual schedule for parenting time in a court order, the custodial parent can pretty much do what she wants in regards to you seeing your child.

Hurry up and file!

[lucky]

Then you will get a date for a motion hearing (lasts about 30 minutes). Both you and the custodial parent have to show up. The judge will then usually order mediation, if mediation isn't successful, then the judge usually orders an investigation, which the investigator will submit his recommendation to the judge and then you have your evidentiary hearing (but if both parties agree, you can ask the judge to submit affidavits in lieu of the evidentiary hearing since you live out of state). You submit your affidavit and wait for the order in the mail.

Our hearings lasted anywhere from  5 minutes to a couple hours -- plus waiting time.  Neither dh nor I ever was ever ordered to mediation -- although dh's attorney in the divorce/custody matter requested mediation be attempted (failed miserably) -- and the "investigations" were always at one party's request -- in our cases.

The above italicized events are possibles, not standard events.  It depends upon the judge typically.

[em]Lucky

Lead your life so you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.
- Will Rogers[em]