NJ WHERE YOU AT!!!!!!!

[impressivedjq]

Can I ask anyone from NJ to reply to this post,so I can get a census of how many people from NJ are on here.  WE have to start a movement on the state level and the more people we get to this forum the more powerful we become.  If you have been done wrong by this system...PLEASE REPLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[virtuous]

I am in New Jersey.  Which wrongs specifically are you speaking of?

[impressivedjq]

Thank you for responding to this call.  I dont have enough time to explain all that is wrong,but I will give you a few. First off, let start with the gender bais that this state uses to suck money out of responsible father with out due process. Two,women who have custody of the child,if not pushed in court to abide by the law when it comes to visitation,they are usually just smacked on the wrist,not once,not twice,but everytime they are summoned to court to answer charges of not compling with a court order of visitation.   There is something that we can do to change the laws to make them fairer for everyone.  But we need the numbers to make this happen.  That why I wanted to know how many people from Nj  are on here or how many read the state forums.  Again,Thank You for responding.                  Q.

[virtuous]

I'll send this to all the people I know, you know I am involved on some other forums for second wives and I could make them aware.

[impressivedjq]

Thank You very much!!!!  Also,tell them about SPARC,if they dont know about it already.  I have some things in motion as we speak.  Im trying to find more info so I can make a compelling argument,when its time to debate the fairness issue.   Again,Thank You!!!            Q

[SallyandJack]

we don't live in NJ but deal with NJ courts (morris county) in reference to my DH's daughter.

we are actually in the process of filing a motion due to clarify and expand visitation due to current visitation problems.

we are expecting ex-mom to cry sex abuse towards child to counter his request - as she has already threatened my husband with this.  Of course her allegations are untrue.   If I had children and I thought my ex was an abuser....I would be in court yesterday to stop him from seeing her.  I am hopeful that the courts will recognize the truth.

It would be great to talk to other people who have dealt with NJ courts.

[impressivedjq]

My heart goes out to you and yours.  What you are about to deal with can only be compared to HELL!!!!  Here in NJ,Good Fathers' get the hell beat out of them while bad mothers get a slap on the wrist.  In NJ the court system is totally not fair and is full of bias against fathers who would love to see their childern grow up.  Its sad!!!!!  This is why I put the subject,"NJ WHERE YOU AT!!!!", to see if this web site have enough people from NJ to get something going here.  My call have been on deaf ears but there are other ways!!!!  I thank you and again my heart goes out to you and your husband.  If I can help in any way just drop a line,just do me one favor......Stand by your Husband....Its might get very ugly!!!!!!                         Q

[SallyandJack]

thanks so much for your support.

i know it will get ugly.  but i think we will be ok and here is why. (I could be wrong and welcome any and all feedback)

1. she is going to take an experience he had with a group of other young boys (ages 12-15 or so) when he was a young boy (age 15) and call it child molestation.  it is actually a joke.  my husband is currently in his 40's....has never been convicted of anything.

2.  she has very little crediblity and here is why.  she learned about his experimental experience well over 3 years ago while they were undergoing marital counseling.  Well - if I were a mother and I thought my husband or ex was a child molester, I would have been in court immediately to stop him from seeing the child.  She never did that.  Of course, why would she? - he is not a child molester.  Zero credibility.  Also - after learning about this experience, she would leave the child alone with my husband before he left the marital residence.   If there was the smallest hint of child molestation, no mother  in her right mind would allow a child molester to continue seeing their child - supervised or not.  

3.  She has been grossly abusing visitation.

4.  She is also beginning to prompt alienation.

My husband is a kind, loving, patient father.  What other choice does he have except go back to the courts to ask for help?  None.  The alternative is not seeing his daughter and that is unacceptable.

any and all opinions, advice, comments welcome.
 

[virtuous]

I feel for you too.  Check this out
http://www.fatherhood.hhs.gov/index.shtml

[luckystepmom]

I'm so tired of all the bull within the NJ court and legislation.  I am seriously ready to stand up and start fighting.  Let's see child support is the biased thing I've seen probably in my entire life.  At least one judge in the state is willing to cut a lawyer off (25 times in one custody trial) and say I don't want to hear that issue move on.  Before hearing the case, he instisted we try to work things out.  We offered about 10 different options.  BM would not budge, she decided we deserved to be weekend babysitters and nothing else.  The judge then told BM's attorney (BM is the one who filed for the custody case in the first place) that if Dad wanted his day in court she should look into him paying her attorney fees.  I watched the maternal grandmother bold face lie on the stand.  When I told our lawyer 3 document supeaonas would prove perjury, he said they'd call it a mistake and go after us for slander or defamation or something.  Our evaluator must have paid absolutely no attention to us because she claimed my husband's mom died when he was 18.  She still very much alive and we see her once a month.  The report was not thrown out.  The contract we signed with this particular evaluator stated that the bio parents would be interviewed with any sig. others that may exist.  BM was evaluated alone.  6 days later in a deposition she said she was engaged.  We still know almost nothing about her "fiancee".  Neither does the evaluator.
Tell me what you want from me and I'll be overjoyed to "fight the system".