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LONG POST: Camden Cty, what's the skinny?

Started by dadwho, Aug 24, 2005, 01:41:32 PM

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Crosspost to visitation board...


This is my first post, and as many newbies, I'm looking for
help.  My ex may well monitor this board, so please feel free
to email me offline:  trulyadad-AT-yahoodotcom.  Think I'm
paranoid, read on.

Here are some basic facts:

1.  Divorced 11/04 in Middlesex County Mass.
2.  Ex was granted all custody and removal rights despite
seasoned clinician as GAL recommending categorically against
it and -- unusual for him -- citing intense alienation (no he
didn't say syndrome, I don't even want to go there guys) and
enmeshment (my ex).
3.  3 days after judgment rec'd they moved to MD; Judge's
*written* rational -- ex will engage in alienation anyway, so
she may as well move (I kid you not).
4.  Non-resident visitation granted in Mass by Judge Dorothy
Gibson was some vacation (one week summer first year) and
some holiday/school vacation, one weekend every 5 weeks or
so, 2 calls per week.  Thanks, have a nice day.  Over max
possible support.  Hey, of course.
5.  Sought visitation increase 10/04, ex dodged service for 6
weeks bringing her to 6 months 1 day residency in MD, new
judge, Keamy, saw no problem with that at all -- granted MD
jurisdiction (case law?  Who needs it)
6.  Got sick of not seeing my 10-year-old girl, moved to MD
1/05; refiled to adopt foreign judgment in MD
7.  Ex moved 2/05 to Jersey, wouldn't say to where until
done; pulled adoption of foreign jugment in MD, moved for
hearing in Mass until new location determined.
8.  I moved to Philly 3/05, about a month after my ex moved
to So. Jersey; pulled motion in Mass and entered negotiations
with ex and new hubbie.
9.  Been seeing daughter one weekend per month, one evening
three hours per week (more or less) and 2 calls per week
10.  Instigated counseling sessions for daughter during
divorce, attended those ones appropriate while in Mass.
11.  Daughter continued counseling driven loosely by ex in MD
and then in Jersey, still only about 1/month avg.
12.  I have asked ex for proposal for add'l visitation,
hoping to work things out as fait accompli to avoid
litigation (and another roll of the family court dice in
Camden County this time).
13.  Yep, you guessed it:  Almost.

Now, ex and new hubbie say I can't see daughter more than one
weekend/month (per old Mass judgment clearly no longer having
jurisdiction, in fact two jurisdictions old), and that
"because our relationship has deteriorated lately"
(corresponding to their most recent proposal, gee), I shall
only see my daughter during the week for counseling sessions.

BTW, I loved my attorney in Mass, but we're not there, I
can't afford any more lawyers, and besides I got my ass
kicked to the Berkshires.  So, I'm definitely pro se.  I have
lots of admin skills and am polite and persistent.

Before you even ask, support payments dropped while I was
unemployed as of 1/05 having screwed myself by moving twice
in six months to see my girl.  But this fact was reflected in
two separate jurisdictional filings as I chased my daughter
from Mass to MD and now to Jersey.  It was set by Gibson as
$240/week on $780 net.  I'm now paying $200/week on $760 net
and figure that's in the ballpark.

No felonies, misdemeanors, or arrests for anything ever.  One
moving violation in 25 years (I just hung up with my
daughter).  One restraining order filed in separate
jurisdiction by separate attorney in Mass (her divorce
attorney couldn't stand by her on it  -- the affidavit was
utterly absurd and clearly all spite -- it was dropped).  No,
never threatened, never hit, never hint/think of violence in
any way.  "Sure you didn't," right?  Ah, due


I'm thinking:
1.  Petition to enroll foreign (Mass judgment) submitting
facts of "itinerary" of case including MD and
subsequent mass filings for reference (want to be able to
pull in GAL report as reference which is devasting)  (ASIDE:
Middlesex "lost" the impounded GAL report --
registrar just couldn't find it for a temporary orders
hearing and it hasn't been seen since -- cool, huh?
Coincidence that it's credible and completely contradicts the
judgment and it went missing?  Actually, maybe so...)
2.  Motion for temp orders to see my girl on a typical
non-custodial basis, cookie cutter dad thing (every other
weekend, one eve week, phone calls, usual vacation) to
include setting support
3.  Motion to modify legal custody to joint (will likely go
to trial, I'll push for mediation -- heard it's decent in
NJ); regular counseling for daughter; me too with her is
fine; allow grandparent visitation independent of mine
(denied currently)

If I could do that, she and I stand a chance.

~How's basic strategy sound?
~What's Camden Cty like generally for non-custodial dads?
I'm considering shared legal custody and increased
~Which judges hate fathers?  Out with it.
~What do you think my chances with joint legal are?
~Are any So. Jersey Father's Rights groups not regarded as
whackos?  I'm not an abuser in disguise, I don't hate my ex
-- my daughter is part of her I couldn't -- and don't want to
get painted as a "dad on a mission."  I am because I
love my girl, but it's my mission, no offence.

Any advice/comments read and considered.