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Abandonment during pregnancy

Started by cellaigh, Oct 11, 2005, 06:10:48 AM

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I'm curious how the law looks @ a father who abandons the mother during pregnancy.

In my case, he left me @ 4 1/2 mos pregnant for another woman.  Turned his back completely - physically, emotionally, financially - denied paternity & ordered a DNA test, even though he knew there was no other possible father.

I notified him when the baby was born (5 mos ago), then the other woman kicked him out because she said she couldn't deal with him having a baby with me & knowing he would have contact with the both of us.  

So, briefly, he & I kind of got back together emotionally (not living together, though) & he has had visitation @ my home freely.  Child support & custody/visitation orders are now set up legally and things have been OK.

Now, he has strayed again to even more women and is demanding he be able to take his son away from my house for visitation.  Mind you, this child is exclusively breastfed, father currently sleeps on a couch @ a friend's house, has no provisions for having an infant (i.e. carseat, crib, etc.)  he smokes pot daily & his friends & family are not the nicest people.  I don't feel safe letting an infant go with him.  He has threatened to take the child away from me on several occasions, has threatened to call CPS on me for fabricated reasons, etc.  He alternates between being pretty hostile and very sweet.

I keep track of all visits & have even tape-recorded some, just in case, for my own protection.  He claims leaving me during pregnancy has nothing to do with how he feels about his child & doesn't think it can affect how visitation goes.

Is there a standard opinion as to abandonment during pregnancy?  How about visitation with an infant?  I must return to work soon & have to pump breastmilk to give to the daycare.  I know the father is waiting to pounce on me then & demand I hand over the baby & the breastmilk to him since I have to do it for daycare.  What are my protections?


first, is his name on the birthcertificate or perternal agreement. Any father that doesn't have the best interest of the child is not a father at all is my opinion. He must follow all that the courts have ordered for visition. It's a good thing to have proof of the visitation but just remember documents are most important.                      

Third party such has a social work order or demestic violence worker at great as a third party to vouch for you that he would attempt to take your child to an unsafe place.
the point of visitation is really for the father to gain experience in dealing with his child(ren)s needs and wants. He how ever does have the right to take the child by law any where except out of state or country unless he has joint or sole custody.

If you would like you can talk to the law guardian you had or have through the courts to see what his living standards are like so they can recommend a safer place for the baby to stay while you're at work.

so for now just do what have been doing with taping the visits so long as they are in your home no where else document what he does during the visit and the threats he imposed on you. Also make your neighbors or even family members, doctors, etc, know that he is thinking of taking the child to an unsafe place.

This way if any happens to the child while in his care, he will only have supervised visits until he can prove he is capable of seeking the best interest of the child no matter what he does or where he goes. If he pays child support visits can not be cut off.

pollar a dedicated father