Is there anything that can be done?

[dipper]

HI all,

My hubby lost his petition for primary physical custody in January.  Many things were a problem - first of all, our lawyer was awful.  She did not know the case.  She was 1 1/2 hours late.  His ex lied just about every time her mouth opened - and yet, the lawyer did no follow-up even when she had the proof in the ex's own letters.  Another thing - the lawyer and ex's lawyer met beforehand - and he immediately came straight to ex and told her what the main points against her were so that she could come up with lies - dh's lawyer never told us anything.

Another thing - his son, the only reason he was going to court, told judge that he didnt care where he lived.  The son has been 'purchased in the past two months.  He has received so many new items and was promised a real sword and a cd the day after trial.  He is allowed to stay out with 20 and 30 year olds at night instead of being home on school nights.  DH was taking him to counseling, his mother said he didnt need it - making dh look like the 'bad guy'.  

The 20 and 30 year olds he hangs out with - all work at the store she manages - or did.  the two women, his ex said she trusted completely.  Come to find out - she had already fired one of the women.  And...that woman had been arrested twice for grand larceny- and has since been arrested again for grand larceny.  This woman lost custody of her own child to her mother months ago.  The other woman, this woman's lover, has been fired as well - she had lied and had a felony conviction she didnt reveal on her application.

The young man that was the real strong hold for ss - he is 26 years old, plays video games, works in a toy store, spends a lot of time with 13 year old ss, has wrecked three cars, and according to ss - smokes pot.  SS of course, thinks he is cool hanging with this man.  The one time ss refused to come for a visit was the weekend before court - and we found out later that the 26 year old had spent the night with him that weekend as well as promised him a cd for helping him at the store.......

Now, the ex lied saying her mom keeps ss alot - and she has kept him two days in eight months!  BM is now taking ss to work every evening - and even took him to work at her part -time where she is a waitress and she was working until after 10.    He hangs out (at both jobs) and does some work - but of course he is not employed so that prevents the child labor law violation.....................

Last week, he was suspended for hitting other students - third time this school year.  During the meeting dh and bm had to attend,  she took 3 phone calls from the store - acting like she was in demand and stating over and over how she manages a store and is never home........

SS has really changed.  DH tried to do right by getting after him for bad behavior - she and her friends gave him gifts telling him he was doing good in school.  DH got after him for not doing homework - she never says a word to him about it...........DH wanted him to have counseling - she tells him that he doesnt need it.  DH and ss were so close, but now its like he worships his mother and thinks we are just rednecks.  He now lives in a big city..........people who go to church and such are just rednecks.....

He is learning disabled and has two f's on his recent report card.  If he is suspended again, he gets kicked out.  

BM has him completely snowballed - she is not a parent, but his best buddy.  He is treated like he is 20 years old.  Does what he wants - gets goodies.  For being suspended - his punishment was to lose TV in his room ,but he can watch it with her.....he cant have the shoes he wanted, but they went shopping during the suspension and bought them, he just has to wait - and she bought him several items that he liked and he got them instantly.  He also got to hang out at the toy store for three days.

I had been worried that her constantly underminding dh would take effect - dh was never allowed any decision, if he made plans with ss, she would just change them without telling dh...........now it seems ss thinks dh is nothing..........

SS plays with peers outside, but is not allowed to have them over.  The only buddies they have over are these older people with shady lives....

But, is there anything that can be done really?  CPS is more neglect and abuse based..................and child labor laws - well, he isnt employed, he is just there 8-9 hours and he does work some of this..........

[MYSONSDAD]

Are you thinking about an appeal?

I would think the Judge would look at the school records. Did you hire a PI to back your documentation?
 
"Children learn what they live"

[dipper]

Court was on January 25 - and from what I understand, there is a 10 day period for appeal.  We cannot afford another lawyer - especially if we wouldnt get any better than before.

PI - I did talk with the criminal justice teacher at my college, and he is to get me a number for someone.  He told me that I could get a book and pretty much learn all that I need to know - but of course, observation needs to be done by someone they dont know.

SS just got back into school Monday - and he called hubby tonight, suspended again.  But, they didnt say anything about being out for good - but it is to be turned over to higher powers now.........He was in the school office from 9:30 until 2 - when his mom's brother was finally able to pick him up.  She works 15 minutes from the school but was too 'busy' to go after him.

My hubby is just at a loss.  SS chose to live there..........yet, he is getting into serious problems with his grades and the suspensions - not to mention the lifestyle and friends he keeps company with....

[MYSONSDAD]

Things will come to light, might take time.

The best money I ever spent was on a PI. You might even look at a Police Officer willing to be a "second pair of eyes" on his off hours.

The trick is to have someone observe who will be taken seriuosly in court. They are considered Professional witnesses.
 
"Children learn what they live"