NO FIRST XMAS FOR ME :(

[wallyworld85]

I am very sad.  Tuesday my ex called trying to blackmail me.  She stated, "Unless you add the amount of daycare you agreed to pay the daycare directly and pay it directly to me in an order (an extra 60 per month) I am not going to sign the agreement.  I told her no.  She told me that unless I do than I will never know the whereabouts of my daughter.  She also said that if I sign it with her changes than I could see my daughter for the entire xmas (then she added only in FL though not bringing her to IL).  I said NO.  She said, ' you better watch out, my dad is footing the bill, and he has it out for you."  THEN she had the adacity to say, " you have a new family why can't you just forget us and leave us alone!"  

Okay she is the one prolonging this by wanting more money than what the statues states AND just because I have a new son (who is now almost one and has NEVER seen his sister) doesn't mean I would just forget about my daughter.  It seems as if my ex wants the cake and wants to eat it too!  

OKAY it was HER dumb agreement to begin with!  I was agreeing to pay about 100 more than want the statutes state becasue I was willing to pay daycare (ONLY directly to daycare)AND about 40 extra in cs.  She stalls signing (I signed NOV 8th) just to hinder my visitation YET again.  Do I have no recourse?

Then she states, " and you getting her for the entire summer the day school lets out is CRAZY"  UMMMM. HELLO you told me you wanted me to have her the entire summer again it was something you added!  I would be happy to have her for ANY amount of time.  I mean god I havent seen her for over a year.

HOPEFULLY she will not sign the DAY AFTER XMAS.  Becasue I want her held in contempt.  NOW my daughter cannot even get my presents.  (too late and too heavy to send)  I thought she was going to be here with me (driving in a car to and fro FL) so I got her a scooter, bike, and a lot of HEAVY stuff that cannot be sent!  How do I tell my daughter that SANTA can't get my stuff to her.  I am sooooo depressed.

WHY DOES SHE HAVE TO BE SO EVIL AND VENDITIVE?

My daughter called yesteerday.  ex was checking to see if I was going to try to pick up my daughter anyway (lawyer told me not to even go that it would be a wasted trip becasue I do not know here my daughter is.)  my daughter said she is going to Tampa for xmas (didn't even mention missing me or that she was supposed to visit me)  My daughter is 7 so soon she will realize what is going on OR ex will train her to hate me too for no reason./

[Indigo Mom]

First of all, put a phone recording system on your list to Santa, and if he doesn't bring one...get it yourself.  You have to record all conversations with this twit nosed freak.  Boy, would I love to see her face in court if you had all this on tape.

Second, get yourself a guardian ad litem.  Someone has to intervene here, and I'm too far away to kick the holy crap outta her.  

-----you have a new family why can't you just forget us and leave us alone!" -----

And if the ol biddy EVER tells this to you again?  Just let her know that because this is something SHE could do...you aren't capable of replacing one child with another.  

-----AND just because I have a new son (who is now almost one and has NEVER seen his sister) -----

My kids weren't allowed to meet until the lil miss was 8 months old.  I personally feel there's a nice big space between the two of them because of this.  I've heard stories about big brother seeing little sister (or vice versa) coming home from the hospital.  I get all gushy when I hear those stories because I'll never experience that.  Neither will you.  How sad.  

-----NOW my daughter cannot even get my presents. (too late and too heavy to send) I thought she was going to be here with me (driving in a car to and fro FL) so I got her a scooter, bike, and a lot of HEAVY stuff that cannot be sent! How do I tell my daughter that SANTA can't get my stuff to her. I am sooooo depressed. -----

You can do what I did.  Saved years of prezzies for my son.  I saved everything my parents sent, every little thing I bought for my son.  When I started seeing him on a regular basis, I took them all out and he was excited as all get out.  Now, the clothes didn't fit, but at that moment, he KNEW mommy didn't forget about him, and neither did his grandparents.  

-----WHY DOES SHE HAVE TO BE SO EVIL AND VENDITIVE?-----

DUH!  Because she's a bitch.  You probably knew she was when you were together, but then, she wasn't "as" evil.  She has a pawn now, your daughter, and that, my dear Wallace, can turn people into the most rotten, evil, vindictive, scuzbags!!!!

-----My daughter is 7 so soon she will realize what is going on OR ex will train her to hate me too for no reason./-----

My son did, too.  In fact, sometimes he still does, but that's the great thing about kiddo's.  They may say they hate you...but they don't.  Ya can't hate a parent.  Take comfort in knowing one day she'll come to you on her own, and leave that lying SFB mother of hers behind.  

Document til your hands bleed, and keep trying to see that little girl.  It WILL kill you everytime you're denied, but you can never stop trying.  

I'm sorry Wallace...this just bites.  BUT...you need to hold that head up (prop it up with a popsicle stick if ya have to) because that lil man of yours deserves an awesome Christmas with both mommy and daddy.  

[StPaulieGirl]

It is impossible to deal with assholes.

Soon your kids will be of legal age to decide who they want to be with.  You may miss their childhood, but wait until your first grandbaby comes!  That is an amazing experience:-)

Evil and vindictive?  Standard operations for a psycho.  Don't burn yourself out on things you can't change....at the moment.  

IM-UPS will deliver those gifts. It's kind of expensive, but I think you can get the gifts to them by Christmas.  Hey, try Fed Ex!

[Indigo Mom]

if she's a true PBFH, the child won't receive the gifts anyway.  Interceptions are kewl in football when it's your team doing it, but in love and war...interceptions do happen, and they suck.  

Only Wallace here knows whether she'd get the gifts or not, but if ya ask me...he's better off saving them.  

[MYSONSDAD]

Last year for me was unbearable. I missed my son's first Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year and his First Birthday. Did not see his first steps and so much more.

My parents really helped me thru it. My Mom decorated for Christmas and refused to take them down until my son was there with us. We had our Christmas the end of January. Dinner, Gift exchanges, the works.

It doesn't mater if it is celebrated late. It is the love and family bonding that is truly Christmas.

If there is any chance of getting her later, just keep the decorations up. For me, it was the only thing that got me thru.  

[StPaulieGirl]

I didn't think about her refusing the packages.  That would just suck.

[StPaulieGirl]

First of all, I'm sorry you missed all those important things with your baby. Your parents sound great.

Last year, the kids were at their father's for Christmas, so we had Christmas dinner on New Year's Day.  They arrived late on Christmas, so we had dessert and opened up presents.  There are ways to make things work.

[msme]

Two years ago, The kids had to go to her house early Christmas morning. We decided that they weren't gonna open their gifts & then have to walk away from them.

We took them out for an early Christmas eve dinner & while we were gone, Santa arrived. He even left a note on the door apologizing for coming so early but since he saw we weren't home & he was in the neighborhood, he stopped by early.

It took some fancy footwork but when they opened the door, it looked like Santa had rolled his sleigh in our living room. They stayed up most of the night playing & had to be woke up to go to her house. It was great.

Good luck & God bless,
msme

You never get a second chance to make a first impression!