Tired of the Bull.....

[dipper]

DH had hired a lawyer who was very ineffective in court, as she didnt know the case.  Now, we owe her quite alot of money for us - and she hasnt done anything.  The hearing was Jan 25.  She had the court order as of early Feb - She knows my dh works and cannot be reached during the day - so of course, she wouldnt mail it to him to review - wouldnt leave the info with me so that he could look over it.............its been phone tag.  then she calls today and leaves a message that bm's lawyer has sent  a 'revised' order - and that she wanted ME to call her back by 4:30 - if not then HOPEFULLY the court would give her more time and she would call dh back after 6  - but the court really wanted the order!!!

Guess what?  I didnt get home until after 6 - and she never called dh back.........

DH knows what the judge determined in court - but bm has been trying to cut into that time and meanwhile, his lawyer hasnt gave a rip>

Is there anything we can do?  I have heard stories on her since we went to court and it is clear that she is really lousy with all her cases......

[MYSONSDAD]

I would be parking my butt in the attorneys office, either early in the morning before they go to court, or most have one night a week they stay in the office late to talk with clients who work during the day.

As a last resort, order the court transcripts...but it will cost $

And as far as the attorney, there are alternatives.

Read my post below about this should be nationwide.

"Children learn what they live"

[gipsy]

sounds like your husband will have to take care of this , Second. I don't really have a clue what you are talking about , Except that your atty won't give you any info , And that would be perfectly normal , Maybe you should tell your Hubby to handle this ! And back off and take a breath ! I had a similar situation And I divorced Her , She kept trying to handle My case for Me she wrote letters to my atty . And the mother of my son . Thats a serious control freak issue , And yes I fired two atty's . But make sure that they really are not doing there job first , Some times there is not very much to do , Just fileing an order isn't much , But  I have no idea ,  I though I had followed your posts and you were curious about a contempt out come , there isn't much to that iether,, Its hard to know  If your atty is doing there job untill you clue us in , I could be a good idea , Because I once fired an atty and He really wasn't doing a bad job , He just didn't really tell me much or do it very fast , But  What the deal was at that time wasn't very much ! this all seems exciting , And stressful , But the end result won't be much and life will go on , Just don't give up, And in the end there will be a Parenting plan and a child support order , And thats about what you get out of this ,

[dipper]

My dh works in a factory - he cannot make calls during the day.  As for me - I call his attorney because my schedule is more flexible and he wants me to.  As for letters to anyone - nothing is ever typed unless he asks and he tells me what to put, and he reads it and signs it.  He was clueless until he had his *ss hung to him in court last year.  That is when the light came on and he realized that he had been kept out of his child's life and he had a legal RIGHT to be a part of it.  But, he is computer illiterate, so he would sit beside me and I would dig thru to find the right info, the right form letter, etc....

As for the attorney, she had the case for two months.  We went one time on a Sunday - and good thing she was there, because she had forgotten the appt.  She didnt start trying to line important people up - school, psychologist until 3 business days before trial - in bad weather when such people are not in.......

She was 1 1/2 hours late to court, after 'getting to know you' with other lawyer - he came out and talked with bm about the discussion - she never talked to us about anything they would use.  She had letters from bm that contradicted bm's testimony but just let her lie.  She didnt bring in yss' babysitters felonies as evidence that she wasnt a good role model....well, there are numerous things here....but, you get the idea.

The case was Jan 25....dh went searching for his order Feb 11 - hadnt ever been filed.  So, he called the lawyer's office and found that she had it, but had not gotten around to it.  Then a week later she sent a letter that had been received from bm's lawyer.  We sent a reply.  It was not until March 1 - lawyer called.  DH was working, I called back and asked assistant if they could just give me the info. and I would give it to dh and let them know what he thought.  Assistant said she would have lawyer to call him after work.  She didnt.  March 4, I called and asked if the order could be mailed for his review.  Assistant told me that the lawyer had it in a pile, but just hadnt got back around to it.  She would give the message about mailing.

Yesterday - lawyer left message that she would call dh back after 6 last night, that hopefully the court would allow her the extra time!  She didnt call......Dh called and left a message.  So, today I called again - and was told that it would be mailed out today for his review.  The assistant complained about dh not being able to call during the day.....saying the judge was really angry.  

I told her - dh had requested this review two weeks ago.  We had even requested it be mailed to him.  And if the judge is mad, its because the lawyer has sat on it for two weeks (Actually she has had it for four weeks) and I do not want my husband blamed for her actions.

I was only trying to assist dh  - no decisions that are made are mine.  

[dipper]

Thank you - they are finally going to mail the order to dh to review.  The judge is mad because this hasnt been filed and of course the lawyer wants to blame dh. She has had this order for four weeks - we have called several times.  Even suggested she mail it last week......it took the court harrassing her to get anything done.  

[NoNicky]

It is strictly a personal issue but my dh had a power of attorney drawn up.  That way I can handle things for him when he is on the road.  The attorney knows most of the stuff is written or typed by me but she also knows that I don't do it without husband hearing what she has written and him telling me how he would like me to respond.  It's just hard to have computer access in the daycab of a semi and most of our correspondence with atty is through e-mail.  Both atty and we prefer the written record.  That way when dh does get home he can go back and reread all the correspondence.  

NoNicky
For God has not given a spirit of fear; but of power and of love and of a sound mind.  1 Peter 1:6

[gipsy]

Well What I gather from your post is still very little . But I will tell you this , The court does not really care , Nor do they really want to hear about lying , Think of it , The court Could hardly get any where if they were down there tyrying to figure our who's telling the truth , It's very wierd to get this concept , But they really just want to know about the childs best interest , And thats it , So , I Still don't have a clue what your case is about , You say ." He was clueless Untill he had His ass handed to him in court ",that is when  the lights came on  he realised he had Been kept out of his childs life  and he had legal rights  to be part of it ,". Its very hard to decipher what that means , It sounds like ( ass handed to him in court)Means he lost
   ( Realised he had legal rights] Means he won !   Maybe We need to go back to the basics  
    [1] Is there a parenting plan in place ?
        If not why not ,
   If not what process is your atty using ,
  here in Wash state the judge or commissioner will do   Basically nothing for you in a contested case With out a Guardian Ad Litem report ,  What state are you from ? And do they use the GAL system there , The reason for this is , .    The atty's represent The paying parent , And The GAL represents the childs best interest to the court , And the Judge knows who's Interest the atty's represent , And they are not going to give visits to an Axe murderer or child molester , Then have the local news down there with a camera saying there's the judge that let the axe murderer chop up the kids , SOOOO , They pass the buck to the GAL , And the GAL goes and checks the police record and interviiews witnesses etc , The reports to the judge , I would ask your atty if you use GAL's there , If you don't have a parenting plan , then you need to get one and thats what the Atty should be doing foremost , This is standard procedure . In Wash state , Get a GAL and then the GAL reports to the judge and then the judge [ Lacking a confirmation that you guys are axe murdere's ) Will sign off on a parenting plan . And If your atty has not explained what the procedure is in your area , then you need to call , If you start calling other attys then call about ,ten Atty's and one of them will just ask some basic questions , Like I already have about an existing parenting plan , And if there was a GAL appointed , Like, let me tell ya , I have seen the whole Game , And there is a reason for this , Some people are wierdo's to kids But basically the atty should get to the point and ask about matters of law , And there really isn't much too this , It seems like a big deal ,
   Next about your atty , She may have not used a bunch of info about the BM Lying etc , But unless her lies affect the welfare of the children It probably isn't going to matter , So  We all come into this situation and think , We could prove she is a liar Blah Blah , But the court has heard so much of who a liar is , And probably been tricked a time or two , So they aren't there to hear who the liar is ,  , Unless they are falsifying a charge , then your atty better do a job on her , , But even at that , In my case the mom said I was all kinds of things including a pedophile , And the GAL sent us to polygraph testing , And I came up clean and ., Mom came up as lying , And Poly graph testing  Is not reliable  so her atty objected to us talking about it at trial , Basically My atty got a bunch of it in , And I know the judge knew she was lying at trial , But Again I dont really think the judge cared ,
    So Any way I still don't really know What Your case is about ,
      You don't have to tell if you don't want ,but it is very hard to help With out knowing , And I don't know If I could help if I did know , But I still have no clue what you went to court for on the 25th . And you refer to his order , Order of what? , Was he held in contempt , Or was it an order of visitation with a visitation schedule . Really . You have written is that you went to court and got an order [ For what we have no clue]and you think your atty is a bad one . All the details about atty calls still mean very little , Unless its an order of visitation and yor atty is not giving it to you ,And you are not getting visitation . I would assume you are going for visitation , But again You really haven't given that info

[dipper]

Okay...dh and his wife separated in 2001.  the oldest child chose to live with dh and the youngest stayed with mom.  They had a custody order at that time - joint legal, mother primary physical, and dh had this child 50% of the time.  He also took care of this child when mom would go out of town with boyfriends or work.

DH would be handed demands for payment for medical bills on notebook paper, without any info as to who the child saw, and he was not given actual bills.  He was never informed of school meetings.

IN 2004, she decided to move two hours away.  She moved two weeks before we got married.  DH had filed for primary physical of yss as he did not want to move.  Her lawyer pushed to case back until after she made the physical move taking the child with her.  In court, dh was painted as an uninvolved parent even though he had one child full time and the other at least half the time.  The fact that he didnt go to IEP meetings bit him in the butt, even though she as primary had the responsibility of informing him and didnt.....Anyway, judge left order as it was excepts he modified that dh would now have child three weekends a month, time in the summer, and school breaks.  That was a temp order, to be finalized in January.

YSS still said he wanted to live here.  DH and I scraped money together to obtain a lawyer.  The lawyer sent out a subpoena for bm's work record late - and the subpoena never made it to corporate office as that is out of state and had to go to the store bm works at (and was not forwarded).  The lawyer didnt try to contact schools concerning emails from teachers about yss' bad behavior until it was too late.  We found info on bm's not paying rent and one of the sitter's felony records.....She had told us if stuff came from govt site, it was admissable, then she tells us that she needs actual court documentation...

While the reason dh went to court was because of yss' wish - yss was being bought by constant nice gifts and he is 13 - he thought he was so cool not doing homework and instead hanging out with 30 and 20'ish people at night at the mall and out riding around to pool halls...The only time he ever refused to see dh - the 26 year old guy spent the night at their house and had promised yss a cd if he helped him at the store that weekend.

YSS lies, steals, fights - shows no remorse at all and dh had gotten him a counselor and then a psychologist.  BM said in court that she saw no need for it and as yss didnt like it, he didnt have to go anymore.  

YSS got two calls the day of court from bm's employees - the people that he hung out with and bought him alot of the gifts.  He told the judge he didnt care who he lived with - or wanted to live with mom....

As for the lawyer, one thing she could have proved was that bm was alienating dh from ss by controlling all situations and still not keeping him informed and trying to make plans for ss on dh's weekends.  Her letters clearly showed this - bm not agreeing to any requested visitation without changing it in some way, bm admitting she had not told him about an IEP meeting and only giving him the info after he requested it - and a month later, bm signing ss up for basketball practice and then telling dh about it and that it may cut into his time......BM lied about all of this in court.

By the way, dh did visit with the school a couple of times last fall, communicated with teachers through email, and he communicated with the doctor yss saw last fall.  

Anyway, the judge did not reverse the primary physical - however dh had requested specifics be included in the order so that he does not have to beg her for weekends.  The judge agreed to this and sat specific dates, times, and transportation.  This is the order I am referring to.  Court was jan 25.....dh checked on it at the court house and with lawyer on feb 11 - found lawyer had it, had not looked at it.  It wasnt until March 1 the lawyer tried to contact dh - I called back as dh works during business hours.  The assistant said that instead of her pulling the order and giving info to me and me giving it to dh....she would ask lawyer to call dh later from her home.  Nothing.  So, called again friday, march 4..and was told that it was on a stack in lawyer's office - just didnt think she had honestly gotten around to it again.  So, I asked if it could be mailed to dh to review.  Nothing...then the call Tuesday saying bm's lawyer had sent a revised order and asking ME to call back if I got in before 4:30 and if not, hopefully the court would give an extension so that lawyer could call back after 6 when dh got home.  This was the lawyer herself saying she would be calling dh after work......didnt do it.  

So, then the assistant tells me yesterday that they were mailing the order for review, but needed a reply right away from dh as the judge has been very angry about the delay - which sent me into orbit.  DH asked on Feb 11 - and it wasnt until March 1 that the lawyer got around to it.......and then wouldnt call when dh was here or mail it for review - although she will now......

And then she appears to have wanted me to call back the other day to give her the go ahead with the order.  Something I would never do - its dh's, not mine.......

And since court, yss is on homebound for fighting so much.  Still getting gifts, no discipline.....lying.....DH is taking off next Wednesday afternoon to meet with officials of the school system so that they can explain the options that the IEP team has to review about what to do with yss.....

[gipsy]

You may or may not need a new atty , All that you are saying is very difficult for the judge to decide . This type of situation sucks , But , You are sort of in a spot , You need the order filed , And To tell your atty to file it , Right away . Of course I would read the order , But it is an order of visitation , Here's MY dilemma , This crap with orders and atty's goes on all the time . In My case After the first order, the rest were just More visitation , So It bothered me but , I had court ordered parenting time , Not Much < But I always had to wait for the atty's to finish and sign , Then send them to the court , SO Yes it sucks , But it goes on , And Atty's do this , But you may not get much different result If you had another atty. But then again 50/50 orders  are something I really don't know about how they change if one parent moves , If there was a parenting plan in place and it said she had to give notice of the move like 30 day's prior to the move then you [could ] have a contempt issue , But if she has moved And you have already bipassed thaT and filed for a Modification of the parenting plan ,because of the move then It's probably too late , You have already dealt with the problems , I  think you are stuck with this modification ,I would bug the atty to mail the order,  < My expierience is this , The atty's are always late with this kind of stuff , And You probably just need to get with the atty . You may have to set an appointment , Or just say hey, I will be by your office at 3 Oclock on thursday to pick it up , And go get it , This is frustration , But Sicko mom should be Aware of the order .  , It sounds like you want to fire the atty , But you are  close  to having this basically settled , And after that then 13 year olds will be what they are , Don't take being a 13 year old too far out of context . I had a 13 yo , Step daughter , And My cousins daughter is 13 , They are developing , Just ask some normal families what there 13 YO  Is like , My sister is in a stable always married family , And she say's when they turn 13 , She can't wait till they move out , When I was 13 I was a real handfull , I have seen a change of custody at a trial I watched , Because mom wasn't able to get the daughter to school etc , And Dad took the child and was getting her to school etc , I'm not sure why your atty didn't try the case on that issue , But its very hard , Maybe interview like ten attys and see what they say , Or just get the order filed , And hold her in contempt when she screws up ,

[onedaddy]

I'm not sure if you need a new attorney or not.  But you should know for this or your next attorney it is not the attorneys responsibilty to gather the evidence.  I did all the legwork for the attorney, she used her talents to get everything I provided into evidence and to argue and make discredit BM.  But we provided the info,did all the investigating and continue to, we provided ALL the evidence, we spoke to the school, etc. and got the paperwork and records.We told her what we wanted from her and she is able to effectively represent us.  And she is awesome.
Also we communicate via email and have her cell and home numbers. She makes time for us at her home or comes to DH's parents home after hours.  Because sometimes things happen after hours and we need to reach her.