Children and cell phones...

[Imom]

How do you guys feel about the ncp providing your child with a cell? Child's age 10.


The cell to be used as a secondary phone line to reach the child is the child was not at home for the weekly alowed call. Or for the child to call the ncp or return a call.

What about a calling card provided by the ncp.

How would you feel if the cp took these things from the child and is baring access??????

[wendl]

Well I am a custodial mom and my son is 13 I will not allow him to have a cell phone, but he has free access to call his dad if he so chooses, dads # in on our board.

As for calling cards, I have no problem with them, if the mom is taking a caling card dad gave the child, shame on her


**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[dontunderstand]

We have talked about a cell phone for my SD, because she has to sneak to call us, never gets messages we called and BM won't allow her to call us.  However, we know that because BM won't let her call, she will just take the cell phone, just as she does everything else we get for SD...

[prince13]

We had the opposite problem. DH is NCP. Two years ago when oldest was 12 she sent a cell phone with the kids stating to DH and right in front of all 3 kids who were 12, 10 and 5 at the time that this was for their safety...implying that Dad's house isn't safe. We have never denied them access to the phone to call their Mom whenever they wanted to. The older two were home during the day, but DH works 6 blocks away. We have caller id, and told the kids not to answer if they didn't recognize the number...makes sense, right. Well BM hate this as they never would answer the phone...she used a calling card to call so her number never showed up on the phone....!

She calls them multiple times during the day on their cells. I am sure this is to gather information against DH and I to use in the next court date. There is always an ulterior motive with her.

A month or so ago DH called his son on his cell phone and left a message for him regarding some things he needed to bring for the summer. BM went off on DH telling him that those cell phones are not for him to call and if he wants more than the home phone access he needs to provide a phone to them as well. So the kids have 2 phones? Give me a break!

[swilloug]

We are also on the other side.  We recently (December 04) received residental custody of my 13 yo SS.  His mother had provided him a cell phone so that she could get a hold of him if we weren't home.  At the time she got him the cell phone he was living with her she just wanted to keep tabs on what we were doing, because sometimes we weren't home when she called.

I do not agree with a cell phones for kids to carry everywhere they go (which is what SS did).  It is very distruptive at dinner and family functions to have a teenagers phone ring so he good say yeah time after time answering his mothers questions.  Not to mention BM mother and brother were calling SS at 3 am on school nights.  BM had also made calls to SS while he was in school.  SS was failing school for the 3rd year so we went to court and won. YEAH!

After 4-6 weeks we sent the phone back to BM and told him he can not bring it back.  We have never denied access for SS to BM at anytime between 5 pm-10 pm (after I get home from work until he goes to bed at night).

Every circumstance is different.  If I was denied access to my child I might get him/her a cell phone.  Our papers do not state specific call times just "reasonable phone contact," which is anywhere from 1-7 times a week (whenever BM or SS wants).

Good luck.

[Imom]

Dh got ss the cell. At this time dh is considered the ncp. (bm has physical custody anytime the child is out of school longer then three days. dh has physical during school.)

DH set rules for the cell......1. it is locked, it can only dial the numbers programed (our home line and our cell (911 is included), he can not play games, send or receive text,etc..nor does he have the number 2. dh is only going to call the cell if for some reason ss is not home (at bm's) for the weekly call. 2. ss can call from it but must use the calling card first if he is at mom's or near a land line. 3. BM may have other rules like not taking it to curch, etc. (this would include family functions).

BM allowed ss to use the sparc card we gave ss BUT now took that and the cell away....we agree if this were a case about control on dh's part.....but if you are going to say the child has free access to the other parent then you would not care if that parent provided a calling card or cell where the child can only dial that parent's numbers.......

We don't hound for information (bm does that enough). The problem is thats this is the only way bm can have control. BM can not use the sparc card or the cell.

However, we also agree with the one poster's bm. We will not allow bm to have ss's number she does not pay for the minutes. She is not responsible for the  phone in anyway. DH told her she was not responsible for it in anyway. NOW if bm wanted to provide minutes and sent ss a card for it then yes we would allow her to use it and give her the number.  BUT we will be allowing ss to call her on it if for some reason we are not able to get home in time for the weekly call.

[prince13]

I kind of agree with that; however the kids had been calling their Dad from their cells so why is it not ok for he to call them back on them? Secondly, his child support is certainly paying for them and all the other toys she keeps buying!

[Imom]

There is no cs ordered in dh's case........I agree too if they were calling dad from it often. My ss will not be unless like I said we are unable to be at a land line for him to use at the agreed time (we like that idea so bm can never complain dh is denying her weekly call).  BUT as ss gets older and makes his own money and should he put his own minutes on the phone then he can use his minutes as he pleases.

[prince13]

That makes sense. The reason the kids have started calling DH on their cells is because when Mom is around at home she listens to all their conversations with Dad and they don't like that. I believe she gave all her kids (steps included) other than her 7 year old son phones is a control issue...she gave an 11 year old a phone. The kids, at least the oldest, who is 14 is starting to resent her Mom's invasion of privacy into EVERYTHING. I know, as a parent it is a fine line to walk as you need to be involved, but as they get older I believe they also deserve some kind of privacy. We have always done that for them in our house, but BM never has.

[Imom]

Yep, we have always placed ss in a room by himself for that reason and so bm would have his full attention..well and so his little brothers would leave him alone. We got our fax line hooked up...it works through pur computer (lexmark printer).....we had to get the distinctive ring on our phone line and a comswitch device (a line deverter). I lost the booklet for it to reset it so now the fax line picks up some times when your talking......and it takes a while for the phone line to release. BM says some one is listening now because she can hear two hang ups. I geuss we can sit him in the living room where she can here all five other kids screaming, me and dh......and then there is the TV that ss would be GLUED to. Thats what we just may do.