Need to reassurance

[T0052SC]

This is the first time posting on the father's board; I have finalized my divorce back in April.  Now I am dealing with clean up and life.  The problem I am running into is differences of opinions with co-parent counselor and me.  I wonder some times if she is bias.  Here are the two situations:

One visit we were to discuss the children's involvement with the church.  Just to let you know I was awarded 50/50 physical with my residence being the children's residence.  So now they attend the church in my town, school in my town, and doctors in my town.  The X has just decided that she didn't want to take them to church any more, and that she didn't agree with Methodist because she was catholic.  I had to prove to the counselor that this was bull because the X may have been confirmed catholic but always practice Methodist by showing her the old Methodist marriage license and baptismal.  But none of that mattered the counselor still questioned me heavily of why I wanted them to participate in church.  The X didn't get questioned on anything.  It made me feel as if I was wrong for wanting this for the kids and she was right with out cause.

The other is during another visit we discussed how if one of us could not watch the kids, because we were out of town or had to work late that the other should be given the right to watch the kids.  This was originally brought up by the X during another visit.  I brought it back up because lately the X has been working a lot of night and has had her mother pick up the kids and watch them all night.  I told her I felt that if this was a constant schedule with work that I should be able to watch the kids because the kids should have at lease one parent involved with them.  I told her that if this was only every now and then that it wouldn't be a big deal for grandparents to take over a night here and there, but the grandparent shouldn't take the role of a parent.  Back when my X brought it up the counselor thought this was a good thing but when I brought it up it was not reacted upon the same light.  The counselor instead questioned me constantly about the affect this would have on the kids if I was to watch them the majority of the time.  I told her that it can't be too bad if the majority of divorces end with only one parent spending the majority of time with the child and that at least this would bring a sense of stability into the kids' life, instead of never knowing who is going to be there.  My X never got questioned the counselor just thought it was a good thing when she brought it up but not when I did.

Some history; the X has had a lot of problems with the kids.  She has not developed a relation with them partly because she does not spend time with them when they are with her, and the other part is that she puts her self first and her needs so the kids are always put on the back burner when with her.  Some examples; her BF has two older boys that always beat on the kids but the X never stops this from happening in fact she yells at her kids when it happens making them feel as if it was their fault.  

I guess what I am looking for is some reassurance that I am not as wrong as I feel, and also your opinion if the counselor is being bias.  Any help would be great.

[sherrie ohio]

My husband and I have dealt with a bias counseler.The counseler was a step-father in his current marriage,and the kids called him dad.My husband found out a year or so into his daughters life that he was her father.Her mother married a man soon after,that was very abusive.We inform the counseler soon as we seen the proof.But do to us living out of state and the mother being the care taker to that point.He thought we were just causeing trouble.That my husband was just being selfish.We offered to show proof,but it was never allowed.She threw a fit in court and everything,and the counseler still took her side.The courts are proven to be  for the mother in most case's of custody and visitation.In our case the mother was beaten to the point the EMS was called along with the cops,about two years later.She was put in the hospital a few days.The children seen it all.She finaly left him and is now married to someone else.They still think the child is better off with the mother.I wish you better luck.