Venting dad

[hopefuldad]

I am a divorced dad with two boys age 9 and 6. My ex took them to Alaska with all these big dreams and ideas only to find that life is not as easy as she thought. The ex and boys were in Alaska for about 6-7 months before returning home and finding an apartment just two miles from my house and across the street from a school(that the boys attend)
Now that they are back I see them 15 to 16 days out of the month. I work rotating 12 hr shifts so I only work 12 -14 days. I do pay full child support (im in TN). My problem is this as small as it may be I know others have bigger problems than mine but. My boys have expressed to me several times that they do not want to live with mommy they want to stay with Dad at their house(I keep my house) The days she has them she is busy calling my sister -in -law to see if she will keep them or calling my parents to see if they will keep them so she can go where ever. She even calls me and I keep them , I keep them every chance I get. When I keep them all else is put on hold and it is just me and them and we have a blast. My oldest cries when he has to leave. Well now she is trying to leave again this time to buy a house only 28 miles away but that is still away from me I cant take them to school I cant run by and pick them up they cant come see me on a whim. I could understand if it was for a big job or some kind of advancement but its not fact of the matter she tries to get them away from me every chance she gets. And i feel pretty helpless I asked her to ask the boys who they want to live with to which I got no reply from her. A good friend of hers has said the only reason she wants them is the money im starting to believe it. My CS is 85% of her income. She can keep the money I just want my boys.
They have been moved around enough , the oldest was held back for missing so much school when he went to alaska. Does it not count to be a stable parent rooted in one place with family all around?  It just pisses me off that she runs around playing good mom to everyone and ditching the boys with me or relatives so she can live her life. The friend she stayed with in Alaska called her a "bum" after she lived there for 6 months and doing nothing I actually think they kicked her out and she had nowhere to go but back to where I live in TN.

[wendl]

Document Document Document to build a strong case, you can file a motion restraining her from moving until court proceeding are finalized.

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[Kent]

Get all the wittnesses you can that will tell the court how much time you spend with your kids. Ask the teachers, doctors, whoever sees you with them frequently.

But first file for an emergency hearing to prevent the move, file for custody, and ask the court for a mandatory custodial evaluation. DO NOT ask for or agree to a Guardian.

Good luck!

Kent!

[joni]

build your case, take your time, don't give her any idea of what you're up to, give her a false sense of security

Track all the time you have with your kids, the time you spend at their activities, doing stuff at school, extracurricular that's not on your time but you go to support them.  You can use the program from this site

http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/tracker.htm

Keep a daily diary, handwritten.  Jot down what you do, when they're there, anything they say when they vent, what other people tell you

start prepping your witnesses

after 6 months, Tennessee is the jurisdiction.

[Trent]

Personally, I'd tell her that it sounds like she has a great opportunity to move; however, the boys want to stay in the school that they are in now, just for the year.  If you agree to keep paying her the child support, can you keep the boys for the school year?  That way she gets can have her cake and eat it too.

Then bend over backwards for a year so she doesn't ask for them back.  Then document the heck out of the situation.  Then after a year, file for custody and show that you have been the primary care giver for a year and the boys are stable.  The oldest boy may be able to talk to the judge, then, as well.

Sneaky, but it would at least prove that she only wants money and you are a great dad.

Just a thought.