New Column: Lesbian Moms Good, Dads Bad

[Brent]

New Column: Lesbian Moms Good, Dads Bad

September 20, 2005

New Column: Raising Boys Without Men: Lesbian Moms Good, Dads Bad

My latest column, Raising Boys Without Men: Lesbian Moms Good, Dads Bad (World Net Daily, 9/10/05), dissects Peggy Drexler's controversial new book Raising Boys Without Men: How Maverick Moms Are Creating the Next Generation of Exceptional Men and critiques its assertion that boys being raised by lesbian couples do better than boys raised in heterosexual families.

Whereas I'm normally under the constraints of the tight word limits in newspaper columns, this was an internet piece so I was able to go into considerable detail in critiquing Raising Boys.

World Net Daily is one of the largest websites in the world--to write a letter to the editor about What joy! Boys wearing nail polish (9/10/05) click on [email protected].


Clara Harris Strikes Out

Despite the kid gloves treatment normally given to female criminals, Texas' highest criminal appeals court recently refused to hear Clara Harris' appeal--see Court upholds Clara Harris' murder conviction (Houston Chronicle, 9/14/05). I have written about the Harris case in the Houston Chronicle and other publications.

The article said the court "refused to consider the case of a Houston woman convicted of killing her cheating husband by running over him in a hotel parking lot after finding him with his mistress." As I've mentioned before, whenever David Harris is described in the media--even mainstream, respectable publications--he is referred to as "cheating husband." I wonder--if a man had murdered his wife as the victim's daughter begged her father not to kill her mother would we be referring to the murder victim as "cheating wife"?
   
David Harris' daughter Lindsey loved her father and remained loyal to him. Earlier this year Oprah whitewashed Clara Harris in a special she did which included an interview from prison with Harris. The Oprah special opened with audio of me criticizing Clara on His Side with Glenn Sacks but the highlight of the show was a statement from Lindsey.  She said:

"From the day this event occurred, I've tried to avoid doing anything to commercialize or promote the story of my dad's tragic murder. The person who murdered my dad, unfortunately, has not exercised the same restraint.

"[Clara has appeared] in print and on television to persuade the viewers that she is actually the victim, but she is no victim. What she did was the ultimate act of selfishness, caring only about obtaining revenge and thinking not one bit about how her horrible act was going to affect me or my brothers, Brian and Bradley. Anyone who shared my ride in the car that evening, seeing my dad's face as he was about to be hit, and experiencing the horrible feel of the car bumping over his body would understand that this murderess deserves no sympathy."

To learn more about the Clara Harris case, see my columns "In Defense of David Harris" (LewRockwell.com, 3/4/03) and "Convicted Murderess Can Get Custody but Decent Fathers Can't" (Houston Chronicle, 9/19/03), and listen to the His Side show Oprah Whitewashes Clara Harris' 'Murder by Mercedes' (5/1/05).


Man Framed on Child Rape Charge During Custody Battle Released After 16 Years in Prison

Beyond outrage, there are several interesting facets of the article 'I'M MISSING 16 YEARS OF MY LIFE:' Prison nightmare ends after daughter recants tale of rape (Detroit Free Press, 9/13/05). For one, the article makes a point of announcing that Mark Cleary, who married as a teenager, had cheated on his wife and was not a "model dad." The article draws no negative conclusions about his ex-wife, though it mentions in passing that she violently abused her daughter, drove her ex-husband out of his children's lives, and quite likely helped set her ex-husband up on a rape charge for which he was given a 20 to 30 year sentence.

The article is also illustrative of the problem of false accusations of rape and a criminal justice system stacked up against rape defendants. To learn more, see my column Kobe Bryant Ruling a Step Towards Equity in Rape Trials (San Francisco Chronicle, 8/1/04). The Bryant column was part of a debate with two leaders of the National Organization for Women in the San Francisco Chronicle--to read the feminists' perspective, see Survivors must not be twice victimized

I expanded upon this theme in my co-authored column Research Shows False Accusations of Rape Common (Los Angeles Daily Journal, San Francisco Daily Journal, 9/15/04, World Net Daily, 9/18/04), in which Marc Angelucci and I sparred with feminist former prosecutor Wendy Murphy.

Gordon Blush, a forensic psychologist, had some interesting things to say on the Cleary case. According to the Free Press:

"Gordon Blush, a forensic psychologist who ran the Family Services Clinic of Macomb County Circuit Court for 19 years, said he wasn't surprised by what happened to Mark. He said it happens more often than most people realize, though no one has definitively researched the problem.

"Blush said his research in Macomb County Circuit Court in the 1970s and '80s found that children could be manipulated, sometimes inadvertently, into falsely accusing feuding parents of sexual abuse. He called the phenomenon the Sexual Allegations in Divorce Syndrome.

"'Once the allegation is made, forces are set in motion that take on a life of their own,' Blush said, adding that parents are still being prosecuted and convicted for crimes they didn't commit.'"


NOW Interview with Bridget Marks' Attorney: Outrageous Whitewash

As I mentioned last week, Helen Grieco, Executive Director of the California National Organization for Women, did a radio broadcast last week on mothers supposedly losing custody of their children to abusive fathers. The poster child for these largely mythical claims is media cause celebre Bridget Marks. Grieco last week interviewed Tom Shanahan, Marks' attorney (archive available here). I expected the Shanahan interview to be a whitewash but Shanahan was even worse than I anticipated.

(Marks gained notoriety in 2004 when she lost custody of her twin four year-old daughters to John Aylsworth, her ex-boyfriend. Marks alleged that Aylsworth had sexually abused both daughters during a supervised visitation. The neutral experts appointed by the court concluded that Marks' allegations were false, and that Marks had coached the girls to make statements corroborating her charges. Family Court Judge Arlene Goldberg then gave custody to Aylsworth. Earlier this year a New York Appellate court ruled that Bridget Marks did in fact coach her girls to make false allegations of sexual molestation against their father--and then granted her sole custody of the girls!)

Throughout Grieco's interview with Shanahan both decried what had happened to Marks and acted as if the court (temporarily) took Marks' kids from her for no reason. Not once did either Shanahan or Grieco note Marks' sociopathic behavior or even mention that Marks had made these allegations. This is despite the fact that every judge who has heard this case--all five--have concluded that Marks coached the girls to make the false allegations.

During the show Shanahan and Grieco correctly stated that there is a "constitutional right to be with your children" but seemed completely oblivious to the obvious rejoinder that the same right applies to fathers, too. In fact, Grieco's California NOW has worked hard to allow mothers to strip fathers of their right to be with their children--see my column California NOW Takes Stand Against Working Mothers (Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 2/23/04).

Similarly, Grieco asked "how could a child be taken from its mother?" A good question, but one which applies equally to taking a child from its father.

The day of the Marks ruling earlier this year both Shanahan and one of Marks' relatives sent me a letter taunting me over their court "victory." I responded as follows:

"I'm not sure why you're giving yourselves high fives in relation to me--the Appellate court stated very clearly that Marks had concocted the accusations, exactly as I said she did. The fact that she was granted custody anyway speaks volumes about the anti-male bias of the family courts, another common theme of mine. When a court finds that Aylsworth really did molest his daughters, be sure to let me know."

To learn more about the Marks case, click here or see Father's Side in Bridget Marks Custody Case Speaks Publicly for First Time (His Side, 4/3/05), Ruling in High-Profile Marks Custody Case: Painful but Correct (Men's News Daily, 9/14/04), and In Defense of Judge Arlene Goldberg (His Side, 6/13/04).

During the show Grieco also praised California NOW's Family Court Report 2002. I skewered the report in my column California NOW's Family Court Report 2002: Faulty Research, False Conclusions (Los Angeles Daily Journal, San Francisco Daily Journal, 7/11/02), and my co-authored column Fathers Bear the Brunt of Gender Bias in Family Courts (Insight magazine (8/19/02).

Grieco's other guest was Dr. Amy Neustein, co-author From Madness to Mutiny: Why Mothers Are Running from the Family Courts and What Can Be Done About It. We've discussed many times the ways in which unscrupulous mothers use false charges of child sexual abuse as a way to win custody and drive fathers out of their children's lives. Neustein claims that she lost custody of her daughter because the courts were punishing her for revealing her ex-husband's sexual abuse of her daughter. She has become the ideological leader of a  movement which claims that family courts are biased against women and that mothers are punished for making accusations of child sexual abuse.

However, Neustein's adult daughter, Sherry Orbach, has publicly refuted Neustein's claims. In her article "Silent No Longer: The Other Side Of Abuse Allegations" (Jewish Press, 5/27/2005) Orbach writes:

"I remember my mother sitting with me on the plastic covered couch in my grandmother's country home at age five as if it were yesterday. We had been rehearsing for hours. She would begin by telling me a sordid - -and false-- story about my father, such as a detailed account about how he had molested me or about how he had thrown me violently against a wall. She then instructed me to repeat the story word for word until she was satisfied with my rendition...

"After my mother lost legal custody, I visited her once a week. During these visits, my mother used to tape-record me and pose me for pictures in order to gain material for her next media performance...

"For eighteen years [I am now 24]; I was silent as my mother spun lie upon lie about my father and me. According to her story, she is the victim of a conspiracy involving my father, Brooklyn Family Court, federal and state appellate courts, the Legal Aid Society, the Brooklyn Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children, Ohel family services, and several leaders of the Jewish community. These co-conspirators, my mother insists, punished her for revealing that my father had sexually abused me by taking me away from her.

"The truth, however, is that my father never sexually abused me, and that reporters and alleged victims' advocates who supported my mother chose to retell her lies without adequately checking the facts.

"I, for one, owe my existence as a normal young adult to the family judges, Ohel foster care, and the Legal Aid Society attorney who helped me reunite with my father in the face of considerable opposition in the media.

"Most of all, I am grateful to my father for the sacrifices he has made for me over the years."

(The article is no longer available on the Jewish Press site but is posted on this feminist site. I have been in contact with Orbach and offered her the chance to come on His Side but she told me she longed to put the whole thing behind her and wanted her Jewish Press piece to be her only public statement on the issue).

Grieco's show broadcasts live (with call-ins at 888-335-5204) on //www.voiceamerica.com, an internet radio service, every Thursday at 1 PM PST. To listen to archives of Helen's show, click here.


Glenn Attacks Raising Boys Without Men in 4 Metro Dailies

My column, Are Boys Really Better off Without Fathers? (San Francisco Chronicle, 8/31/05), criticizes Peggy Drexler's new book Raising Boys Without Men: How Maverick Moms Are Creating the Next Generation of Exceptional Men. In it Drexler asserts that father-absent homes--particularly "single mother by choice" and lesbian homes--are the best environments for boys.

In the column I pointed out the flaws in Drexler's work and warned that if her research remains unchallenged, it could become the underpinnings of a new trend in family law toward pushing fathers away from their children.

My column, which also appeared in the Seattle Post Intelligencer (9/6/05),  Arkansas Democrat-Gazette (9/4/05), and the Omaha World-Herald (9/12/05), is the only criticism of Drexler's book yet to be published in major publications.

Most of Drexler's research was conducted in the San Francisco Bay Area. The week Are Boys Really Better off Without Fathers? was published in the San Francisco Chronicle Peggy Drexler was in the Bay Area for a series of appearances, culminating in a book release party at San Francisco City Hall. According to the Chronicle:

"One of the event hosts was Mayor Gavin Newsom, himself raised by a divorced mother and present at the event, along with former Mayor Willie Brown, Oakland Mayor Jerry Brown and District Attorney Kamala Harris.

"The list of party hosts included Newsom, Harris, Ann and Gordon Getty, Sally and Bill Hambrecht, Mimi and Peter Haas, Rose and Phil Kaufman, Mimi Silbert, Alice Waters and Jann Wenner. All book-lovers surely, and just as certainly, all believers in the author's premise.

"But guests familiar with everyday book parties, where a plastic cup of white wine is considered abundant, were struck by its lavishness, including a buffet dinner by McCall's. Drexler's husband is former Gap honcho and current J.Crew honcho Mickey Drexler, and although they don't live here any more, they have lots of friends, which is one reason for the star-studded turnout. When I asked one politician what had lured him, he blurted, "Mickey's a good guy,'' before amending his answer to something more relevant to the subject and author. The Drexlers are donors to a variety of causes, including political ones."

At the party Drexler bragged about her work, saying "What it is, is that I've hit a nerve.'' Yet after the column came out Drexler was offered the opportunity to debate me on a major, nationally-syndicated show but declined. I wonder why...


Michael Savage Praises Glenn's New Column

According to Terry, a reader in Cincinnati, nationally-syndicated talk show host Michael Savage praised my column Are Boys Really Better off Without Fathers? (San Francisco Chronicle, 8/31/05) on the air last week. According to Terry, Savage was complementary and said that I have a "clear understanding of the importance of male role models." Savage's show is heard on 450 stations nationwide and he is a best-selling author.

The Savage Nation is broadcast on the same Southern California stations which have broadcast His Side with Glenn Sacks. I remember a couple of years ago complaining to one of the board operators that I was bleeped for saying the word "Goddamn" when Savage had just been on saying that the "Supreme Court is sodomizing America." I couldn't argue with the board operators' answer--"when you have an audience as large as his we'll let you say what you want, too."


Comedian Chris Rock on Fatherlessness

In my column I referenced Chris Rock on fatherlessness, writing "As comedian Chris Rock famously noted, yes, certainly women can raise children without men, but that doesn't make it a good idea."  I couldn't actually quote the Chris Rock routine on fatherlessness because of Rock's language. It's funny as hell, though, and straight to the point. To hear Chris Rock on fatherlessness, click here (Warning--explicit language). We once tried to splice it together to use as part of the intro to His Side but with the new, post-Janet Jackson FCC there was no way to get it on.


Uniting the Fathers Movement and Fighting Fatalism

While one often hears a lot of fatalism within the fatherhood and shared parenting movements, the reality is that we have made substantial progress over the past year. I noted some of these accomplishments in my Father's Day column This Year Daddy Began a Comeback (Riverside Press-Enterprise, 6/19/05).

However, one of the biggest problems the shared parenting movement faces is its seemingly endless factionalism. It is vitally important for fatherhood and shared parenting advocates to unite politically. The American Coalition for Fathers and Children has a solid program and is the largest and strongest force representing shared parenting.

At the "Healing Our Families Conference" in Detroit, Michigan in June, attendees unanimously designated the American Coalition for Fathers and Children as the national organization promoting Shared Parenting as the core mission. With 40,000 members nationwide and affiliated organizations in nearly two dozen states, the ACFC is working to creating a family law system which promotes equal rights for all parties affected by divorce.

Recent events show that we can win victories. I urge you to join the ACFC or, if you are already a member, to renew your membership. A list of ACFC affiliates can be found here. You can join or renew by clicking here.

Best Wishes,
Glenn Sacks
GlennSacks.com
HisSide.com