Really starting to hate "the system"

[dontunderstand]

You know it is really funny, I am a mom and can't get help to save my life!  BF doesn't do $h!T~not even call let alone see his beautiful daughter.  I have even had "support enforcement" tell me that "he needs to live too" he is so far behind it isn't even funny, and all that they can do is suspend his license...SO WHAT!  He drives anyway!...On the other hand, I am married and my DH Pays out the @$$!!!  PFB gets every break under the sun, she definately knows how to work the system.  She refuses to work, she doesn't take care of SD! Do you think CS pays for anything for SD, nope, we take care of that stuff too!  Plain and simple, the system sucks and NOBODY protects the children.  Even those good parents that try are shot and beaten down...America the  great.  Land of the free, funny we are all slaves to this jacked up system.  How ironic and very sad.

[MYSONSDAD]

I pay my CS faithfully, early. Get kicked in the groin weekly in regard to visitation. Constant refusals.

And then you hear about the moms who really want the children to know and spend time with their fathers. And those fathers don't care. It gives the rest of us a bad name.

Thank you to all the moms out there who really respect a fathers involvement with their children. My bro has one and they worked out a good parenting plan for the child.

One extreme to the next....

"Children learn what they live"

[crayiii]

I'm in total agreement!  Damn, I wish one of you caring moms could be my ex!  ;-)

[cinb85]

You can be a Dad to both of them!  

They are both lucky to have you in their lives (your girlfriend is lucky too)!

[cinb85]

I don't understand it.  Even though my ex pays nothing, I still think that he needs to be in our daughter's life!  Too bad that he doesn't care to be in her life!  It's very sad!

[cinb85]

that one of you great Dads could be my ex!!!

Good luck to you!  

[debid13065]

Wish my BF's X felt that way.  She thinks that because he divorced her, that he divorced his 4 children as well.  Kids are too busy and have things to do, instead of seeing their father.  Even the constable noted that on his delivery paper, "Kids didn't seem interested in visitation, said they had "THINGS TO DO"!  I'm a divorced mother although my son is now 20, but from 2 1/2 on, his father took him every weekend, was at school meetings, baseball games, cookouts, Christmas eve at my mothers!  Too bad some women think that if they can't get what they want, this is how they will treat their children because of it, and the family courts don't even blink an eye!

[MYSONSDAD]

If the ex's who do deny visitation would think about things logically, they could get a whole lot more, if they DID work with the fathers trying to see their kids.

I would go the extra mile, be willing to give more....Go beyond any CO.

[cinb85]

We have always had a strained relationship since we split up because he is a very unstable person.  Goes from woman to woman and lives off of them.  Has children with them, then moves on to another woman.

When he was in prison, I actually felt a little sorry for him.  We talked alot in our letters.  He asked me how I felt about him and I honestly told him (it was not pretty, but I was totally honest about how I felt that he has never been a father to our daughter).  That's when he promised to be a good father once he got out.  I really hoped that he would come through with his promise because our daughter needs her father and she needs to develop a relationship with her siblings.  I also thought that ex and I could actually sit down and talk about things such as CS and other issues.  My ex got the CS completely stopped when he went to prison.  The CS was stopped for two years.  I kept telling him my letters, that when he got out of prison, he needed to find a job and help support our daughter.  He said that he would because he loves our daughter.  I filed to have the CS reinstated when he got out of prison.  It took about 1 1/2 months to get a court date.  When we went to court, the judge use the state calculator to determine how much the child support was going to be based on both of our salaries (he was working).
The judge asked us both if we agreed with the amount and we both said yes.  I thought that things were fine!

The minute that we stepped out of the courtroom he said to me "Did you ever think that maybe if you "asked" for less money, you "might" just get it!!!"  I told him that I didn't "ask" for that amount.  That's the amount that the Judge came up with based on our income.  He told me that his girlfriend has financially supported their two sons for 7 years now and if she could do it by herself, why couldn't I?  I told him that it is BOTH of our responsibility to support our daughter and that I have been doing it alone for 14 years now!  He called me a nasty name and walked out.  I got one CS payment (that was garnished from his paycheck) and that was it.  I'm assuming that he is no longer working.  It's been two months since we saw that one CS Payment.  I would be happy if he would just send something even if it's not the entire payment.  A teenager is very expensive (which I tried to explain to him).  The homecoming dance was this past weekend.  Ended up spending a good amount of money just so our daughter could go because she REALLY wanted to go.  I wish that he would just help out!

I was really hoping that since we were able to get along while he was in jail, that our relationship as parents would improve so we could both do what's right for our daughter.  I guess he just doesn't care about our daughter.

[smtotwo]

My ex and I have a great relationship.  Due to distance he can't be here as often as wants, but he calls during the day and we talk about our son because at 14 he wants to know what we talk about if he knows its about him.  When he can't be at school meeting (IEP) they do a phone conference and he's always available for them.

As NCP step  one reason I help as much as can with research and info for DH is that I cannot imagine a mother doing to their children what his ex does.  Told the skids that DH isnt really their dad her new hubby is, they don't have to come here if they don't want to....and on and on.

But we had a small victory at the last visit  OSS-11, asked if he could live with us.  Of course the ex will never agree. Will be another court battle.  But after all she's said and done its awesome that he wants to live here!!