dads??? someone less emotional, got any advice

[SPARC Admin]

>I can't format my posts?

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See this previous post for a couple of tips: http://www.deltabravo.net/dc/dcboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=100&topic_id=39&mesg_id=39&page=

[StPaulieGirl]

[font color=pink]testing....[/font]

[Indigo Mom]

None of them appropriate for me to write here.

If you have a court order for Christmas, and it says X day you'll pick him up, then on X day PICK HIM UP.  Just because she has some lawyer type off a letter, your husband didn't agree to this change, therefore...the court order still stands.  Be prepared to file contempt because if you show up ON SCHEDULED TIME and she doesn't "like" it, she's gonna deny.  

If there's nothing in the court order preventing you from calling over there, then go right ahead and call.

Bruises?  Marks?  um...can we say C-H-I-L-D?  Kids are always covered in some type of owie.  If the bruises and marks were suspected as abuse, they would have called CPS.  They didn't?  Obviously not concerned.  They can bite me on this one, too.  

Lemme guess...you don't have an attorney...which means this schmuck is pushing his "legal" weight around hoping you'd buckle.  Call him, don't write, and ask him which Judge gave him authority to suddenly change COURT ORDERS!!!!

That's what I'd do....I LOVE getting attorneys goats!

[FatherTime]

Can I do this with my signature?  Or does it require too much bandwidth?

[hisliltulip]

Everyone here seems to have given you solid advice on how to respond to the letter concerning the visitation.

However, if this woman is as sneaky as my DH's ex, look at this sentence carefully...

"There have been several times that son has been returned home with extensive bites and bruises on his body."

It doesn't say bug-bites, it says bites.  Clarify that, or it may come back to haunt you.  There is a HUGE difference between admitting to bites, and admitting to bug bites.

Yes, I know it's paranoid...  But I am.

[StPaulieGirl]

That was in the back of my mind when I read it!  I'm thinking mosquito, flea, dust spider, toddler going through the terrible twos.  

Lord, she could say that the parents are biting the child!  Grrrrrrr, I missed that.

Just because you're paranoid, doesn't mean people aren't out to get you.

[mudbunnies]

dad is prepared for this... we have discussed it in detail...

we were more concerned about the bruises thing, she's already TRIED to charge dad with abuse... she even had the pediatrician do a depo on it, got NOTHING... and we have her IN WRITING telling dad day of visit child had x number of bruises from daycare on a friday and then the pedicatrician notes on the very next monday (3 days later) stating she picked child up from dad and he was covered in all these bruises and had ZERO when dad picked him up....

doctor told her flat out, if YOU think its abuse YOU call the hotline, DR will not call hotline!

we are VERY careful we take regular video taping of the child playing at our house and everything... we even videotape us giving him his medicine because she has sued dad saying dad REFUSED to give him meds, and so on and so on

we cover our butts on everything we do.... we've been dealing with this psycho for 3 years now...(child is 5)

however, her attorney has taken off for the holidays, AND EVEN TURNED OFF HIS FAX , it is our opinion that he is PATHETIC and trying to hide from dad's response because he knows what his client is doing is WRONG

oh well, dad will call on turkey day, dad will leave a message, dad will file contempt....

the righteous shall persevere.  the child will get was is best for him. love from both parents. mom will never stop dad's love.

thanks guys.. for all the response.

[hisliltulip]

We have three boys, eight yo ss, five yo son, and five yo ss.  Let me tell you, those boys are ALWAYS getting bumps and bruises, they're boys!

It amazes me that these women are sooooo clueless on what normal childhood behavior is.

Hang in there, and good luck!

Beth

[Indigo Mom]

-----doctor told her flat out, if YOU think its abuse YOU call the hotline, DR will not call hotline!-----

huh?  Doctors are supposed to report any possible abuse.  In fact, I've called the abuse hotline half a million times, and not one person came out to investigate.  Doctor calls 'em and the social worker was AT MY HOUSE that night!  

-----mom will never stop dad's love.-----

amen to that, sista!  

[nosonew]

I agree to specify that "mosquito bites and small, insignificant bruises and scratches are very common on boys of this age as they are engaged in age appropriate play in the outdoors, even with adult supervision".  

Also, I would state that the court order states "ncp to pick up...." and do not give in, do not change to suit her needs as someone earlier requested.  By doing this, you are giving up precious time with your child and the bm will just expect it to continue month after month and every xmas.  Do not give in.  You are entitled to your visits as stated, period.  Be very courteous, polite, yet firm in your letter to atty and if you do not have an attorney to cc the letter to, just send it to the judge over seeing your case.

Our BM actually called when ss was 6 years old asking "where he got the 1/16"  circular bruise between his testicles and anus" (she called 15 minutes after he was returned to her!)  I wasn't concerned about the bruise, he plays outside all the time, I was concerned about how SHE FOUND IT!!??  It is called a strip search upon return from visit!  When discussed with judges, counselors, SRS, etc., they all just stated "she is over-protective, no law against that!"  Luckily via our insistance that she quit bathing with him and strip searching him after visits, this did stop.

Good luck and stand up for your rights as a father!  Nosonew