HELP....DESPERATE.....

[babymakes8]

DH is being denied his court ordered visitation with his three children tomorrow (27th). All because his ex is p!ssed off that he didn't take them today, the 26th, because I was working and he couldn't get down to pick them up. Apparently she had plans to go out tonight and now that he isn't taking them today, she has no sitter and she is extremely TICKED OFF.

Originally he told her he'd take them today....but then he found out I was working and he told her it would be tomorrow.....

The court order says:

~DH shall have reasonable access to the children of the marriage upon reasonable notice to @#%$ which reasonable access shall include the following:

~(a) One weekend per month and DH shall provide seven days notice of the weekend access which he wishes to exercise;

~(b) From approximately December 26th or December 27th, as the parties may agree, for two to three days;

It says right in the court order that he can take them approximately the 26, 27.

So, because he couldn't make the 26th, she says no....all because she's in a dirty mood and extremely spiteful.

Do we have a leg to stand on? DH told her he would be there tomorrow morning (two hour drive one way) and to have them ready. She says that they are EXTREMELY sick....throwing up, fevers and diarrhea....there's no way she's sending them THAT sick.

DH tells her that he's their father....he can care for them while they are sick. She says no, they are staying home.....and they won't be there if he shows up tomorrow.

Um, you just said they were sick.....where are they going??????????

I don't freaking know what to do.....I could absolutely freaking kill her.....I feel so sorry for DH...he's devastated, but really ticked off.....I'm scared he'll do something stupid.

HELP...and thank you if you read all of this....

[smtotwo]

 What state are you in?


WI Statute 948.31(1)(b)

In our state - Whoever intentionally causes a child to leave, takes away, or withholds a child for more than 12 hours beyond the court approved periods of physical placement or visitation periods from a legal custodian eith intent to deprive the custodian of his or her custodialrights is guilty of a class C felony.

Learn your laws.  This statute makes it a criminal charge, not just a "family court issue".

We haven't used it yet but if the time comes YOU BET WE KNOW THE LAW AND WILL PRESS CHARGES!!

[Samson2005]

my state makes it a misdeamenor. the police refuse to enforce the law! what can be done? I am consistantly denied holiday and summer visitation and the police refuse to act on the statute even after i hand delivered copies of it to them 3 years ago and again last summer.  what's left to do?

it's hard to be the only one that is expected to live by the laws, isn't it?

[gipsy]

Of course you will have to ask an atty or two or three untill  you get a cool one that will just tell you ,
  But it seems to me you have a parenting plan that is difficult to enforce , Mine is specific , Every other weekend from 5 pm fri Pick up at Mcdonalds located at Blala , And drop off located at mcdonalds at La bla ; My atty said I could get a coke if she is a few minutes late and if she doesn't show then it is more likely that I will get a contempt If I haver the MCDONALDS RECIEPT SHOWING i WAS THERE  ,
   The police don't enforce visitation in wash state : And they told me I have to call my atty :
   Here you file contempt .And If I were you I would say File a modification to the parenting plan so it is like mine : With a pick up time and place ,
  In my opinion you don't really have an enforceable plan , Because its her word against your's
  Secondly My atty said : And Socrateaser confirms it is difficult to get a contempt ,
 But my atty differ's on the Issue in that he just files the contempt and recomends that people do it pro se , Because you won't be likely to get a contempt on her any way , so why pay an atty , But
 My atty advises that she has to suit up and show up and respond to the contempt at court , or you can file a default order ,
 And My atty advises that she may consult an atty , And most any atty is going to charge $1,200 to defend a contempt ,
   and or ask her why she doesn't just cooperate .
  Secondly I advise you make the time of pick up and stick to it !
   People have to make plans , even The mother of my son has mentioned she plans things for the time that I have my son , this has to be understood ,
  But going through the same drill again and again is frustrating, As you see ,
  So you have choices , Moodify the plan and stick too it , or try a pro se contempt :
  Or both ,
  What ever the deal is If you keep this up you will be forever dissapointed ;
  I followed through and had to take my sicko to court many times ; And now I have a parenting plan that tells when and where the pick up and drop off will be at what time , It seems difficult , But I just make this my plan , And thats it ,
   I get my son  as the Parenting plansay's and I don't have to talk to her about it , When she messed up I just said see you at court . And I did , Nothing happened , But she had to give me a makeup day .
  So ask for make up time at court and in the contempt fileng or what ever you do ,
  It's been My expierience that the police don't even show up here , and they tell you they won't so don't even go that route !

[Kent]

The police doesn't need to enforce the law. However, you can still call them out to you, and have them write a report.
As soon as you have 3 reports, you can show a patern, legally documented, and you file contempt.

Kent!

[Samson2005]

i took a copy of this statute to the police station and the cops said they still will not enforce it.  

(d) Any law enforcement officer who has probable cause to believe that a person has committed or is committing an act in violation of this Section shall issue to that person a notice to appear.
    (e) The notice shall:
        (1) be in writing;
        (2) state the name of the person and his address, if  
     known;
 
        (3) set forth the nature of the offense;
        (4) be signed by the officer issuing the notice; and
        (5) request the person to appear before a court at a  
     certain time and place.
 
(the same cop is out there writing tickets to people when their pets get out of the house.)

it is illegal to ignore this law. my lawyer wouldn't even touch it, but he is the one benefiting/making money from its non-enforcement. We shouldn't ignore the fact that the police are paid with tax money and that they have a duty to us. it is terrible that we let them tell us that they dont care about our families and that we have to hire private enforcers.

[Kent]

The police doesn't need to enforce the law. However, you can still call them out to you, and have them write a report.
As soon as you have 3 reports, you can show a patern, legally documented, and you file contempt.

Kent!

[Samson2005]

i took a copy of this statute to the police station and the cops said they still will not enforce it.  

(d) Any law enforcement officer who has probable cause to believe that a person has committed or is committing an act in violation of this Section shall issue to that person a notice to appear.
    (e) The notice shall:
        (1) be in writing;
        (2) state the name of the person and his address, if  
     known;
 
        (3) set forth the nature of the offense;
        (4) be signed by the officer issuing the notice; and
        (5) request the person to appear before a court at a  
     certain time and place.
 
(the same cop is out there writing tickets to people when their pets get out of the house.)

it is illegal to ignore this law. my lawyer wouldn't even touch it, but he is the one benefiting/making money from its non-enforcement. We shouldn't ignore the fact that the police are paid with tax money and that they have a duty to us. it is terrible that we let them tell us that they dont care about our families and that we have to hire private enforcers.

[Sherry1]

when they arrived at his apartment, he showed them the custody papers that clearly says his son was to be there, dropped off by mother.  The police wrote a report stating they came to the residence and the child was not there.  

My son did this about 5 times, and then provided his ex with one of the copies of the police report.  He told her if she did not drop son off the next time he was going to file contempt.  His son was dropped off on time the next weekend.

You need to call the police and tell them they need to come to your house on a domestic issue and then go from there.

[MixedBag]

they are there to enforce criminal laws, not civil.

How are they supposed to know that what you are showing them in terms of a CIVIL court order (which is what family court/divorce courts are), that you're being honest and are showing them the most recent and most current, and the full truth?

Yep, learned all that the hard way through experience and then shoe got put on the other foot when DH got put in the position of being asked to enforce divorce rulings.  He can't......to a large degree.

Different states have different criminal laws that will support the civil side of things.

Then different jurisdictions will interpret the SAME laws within the SAME state and react differently.

And then it comes down to the officer him/herself.....

So please step back and take a look at it from their side...

Divorce is a family court matter and is fought is a domestic/civil/family court.  Police officers can assist sometimes in the ways that people describe.

HOWEVER, let's say you file a police report for some reason (like when Mom doesn't bring the child and the officer files a report for you).  You can't just submit that report to the court as PROOF that it all happened.  You have to get the police officer to testify in court that "he/she didn't see the child at your home on that day."  That's all they can testify to -- which is alot, but the judge probably won't be saying to him/herself that you as the plaintiff/complaintant are lying about the fact that you didn't get your child WHEN you said.  

The question will be WHETHER or NOT you were supposed to have your child when you claim to be entitled to the time......and the police officer can't help you there.

Hope that helps all of us here.....not just this thread.