This is MixedBag's other half.....

[MixedBag]

and I wanted to take a minute and say think you.

I remember what you went through and worry about you and your family a lot....

MixedBag
(Amanda)

[zutalurs]

I can really relate, but in a different way than most probably.
BM in my case likes to post on military spouse forums.  She regularly incriminates herself on these websites, and posts things which give me a good starting place to look for other offenses.
Whenever she finds out my screen name and that I am indeed reading her posts, we always go through a series of harassing phone calls telling me that I am breaking the law by reading her messages.  But the fact remains it is stuff that she shares on a website.  She often tries to use her "righteous indignation" at my "snooping" as a lever against me, and more often than not her own anger causes her to do stupid things like deny my parenting time.  Things that will eventually cost her custody.
The only thing I would warn about, and I say this from the "devil's advocate" side, is to be careful of what you say about her, even if you don't use her name.
BM in my case has called me "animal", "a@@hole", and "sperm donor" on her chosen forums, but never used my name.  But I still make a case that someday our son will be able to find those posts, even if she has forgotten about them, and he will have to read his mother saying these terrible things about his father.  That is the same as if she said those things to him directly.  That, to me, is alienation of affection, and is a very serious offense in my eyes.
I haven't read all the stuff by MB, but it sounds like she wouldn't be guilty of that anyway, but I would be careful about what you say about your ex.  Remember, it works both ways, and what you say on here is open and public and possibly even submissable in court, and you do need to think what affect these posts might have on your son if he were to ever find them.

[MixedBag]

Catherine,

since you hit on this topic....  I used DH's EX's first name here and I used Camilla's REAL first name here before.  I think I was answering someone's post and they got confused because my "situation" is confusing.

NEVER did I use first and last name together.....or last name.

That being said -- here's what happened and I'm not sure you were around when it happened (Nov/Dec 01).  Camilla is great at creating web sites and I found one where she posted pictures of her and her family.  It included pictures of my son.  So I posted the link on divorcenet and said "Hey here's pictures of my son!" because I am very proud of him.  

Well, she had a poem there that upset many moms and she had her e-mail address linked so some e-mailed her.  As a result I found out some of my assumptions about her past were wrong and that the truth was even worse (IMHO, you can form your own opinion).  EX's last name (and even my last name now), is fairly unique -- like NOT smith or jones.  So when you search the internet on it, you find HER because she uses that last name.  And in one spot she says "I'm Camilla LastName, and I live in Podunk, State"......and Camilla blames ME for revealing her name on the internet.  I bragged about my son and shared a link.  Her site revealed her name etc....

[debid13065]

Boy.....can I relate to this.....but the VM's we (BF & I) have are much, MUCH nastier.....pretty much same subjects too....

[dsm]

And Mixed, you know my feelings on all of this.  You have been a tremendous support to so many out here on SPARC and for this chaos to still be continuing......it's very humbling and makes me consider the issues with my DH's ex to be small potatoes.

You watch.....Z will be old enough to follow suit of the other two.  It's just sad that in the mean time, this continues.

Hope he is able to be on that plane this weekend!
==============================================================================

dsm - 35
DH - 38
SD - 16
LO - 10
BB - 2
------------------
3 Cheap Entertainment cats - Sam,  Snoop & Dagger
------------------
Live, Love, and Laugh

[speciallady]

What is all this about retirement funds? WHy does she think she is entitled to this? How would this benefit your son in any way?
I gave MB the name of our atty here in NV and I highly recommend her, if it deems necessary...
I dont advocate that this "stuff" comes to a public board. MB knows our situation and is aware of my husbands ex also being on this board (although she was banned many times...)...
here's the thing--this will NOT be solved by bringing this here. I know first hand, believe me. And sadly, our PAS bm brought the children here to read, too. Or copied and altered posts, I am sure.
So, we take the high road and since the kids are turning 18 soon, if they should want to know, the truth will come out (we have originals of all posts, emails, etc.....).
let it go and take the high road~

[madinbama]

Thanks for giving her the name of your attorney.  I'm sure she wil let me know the info later.  The question on retirement...during all of the proceedings in Ohio she never attended one, and was represented by a lawyer.  Her lawyer, myself, and my lawyer were there and the arrangements were she was to keep hers and I was to keep mine.  Both are military retirements, so she thinks she is entitled to 1/2 of mine no matter what was decided and agreed upon in the courtroom.  My retirement was based on active duty service while hers was based on reserve service.  During the appeals stage of the divorce she motioned the court for spousal support and my retirement, but before it went to court she dropped the motion herself...final decree was issued.  Now, after 9 years she is saying that if I don't do this or that she is going back after my retirement, in essence blackmailing me.  Her voice mails, which are admissable in court, will show that she is only doing this because I will not do what she has "told" me to do; that is demanding that my wife stop posting on these boards about anything!  

About posting on these boards about my situation...well there are many reasons for my doing this, and not really enough time to go into all of them.  I will say that it gives an outlet, and allows me to see if there are others in this same situation.  

Unfortunately, my older children (21 and 23) are put through the wringer almost every time she calls them.  She is the one that continually brings up the past and makes them live through it again, and again.  

Thanks for your advice!

[Raisin_3]

That pb gave up her rights and let me adopt ds.  Because those were the types of calls we would get too, except dh was CP so her threats didn't mean too much to us b/c we knew we had the law on our side.

So thankful to not deal with this anymore and sorry you continue to have to go through this.  Although I dont think posting all this does anything to help the situation.

[wendl]

Honey,

I have been here for a few years to and my dh's ex stalked me here along with many of her so called friends for the minute (since she can't seem to keep friends as she uses them all)

Anyways,  she and her crazy friends read and print my stuff to.  You would think they have better things to do than follow us around NOT.

Thank god we don't have a phone (only a cell)

I could tell you some really funny crap about my dh's ex. Really pathetic crap.

They just love the drama.  It is like they live in a fantasy novel or fantasy world and cannot comprehend REALITY and real life.


**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[mishelle2]

make sure you keep all of the messages, send her a letter stating all phone calls will be monitored and recorded then when she flips out again you have it on tape.. Id take your machine and have it transcribed and notarized.. then you can use it in court, also send the Dr's,Dentist,school etc a letter stating you Z's father give the office permission to speak and share information with your wife in your absence or at your request. Thats what we did, and courts say to bm.. hey he can whoever he wants call and ask ??'s as long as he gave prior permission.