Trying tp dp the right thing

[rodrick77]

I found out about four months ago that I have a son who is about to turn two.  From a three day realationship with a girl two years ago.  Although being a fahter didnt really fit into my life plan. I stepped up and have been taking responsiblity for him every since.  I see him regularly and i purchase all the things he needs when he needs them.  His mother wants us to be together as a family, but that is not my intention. Like I ssaid we were never really in a realationship.  So, now she is using my son against me to try and force me to be with her.  I recenntly even found out she has been doing drugs off and on since she had our son.  I'm nt sure what my rights are.  All i know is i am finished letting her call all the shots. I would like to get joint custody of my son through the courts, so i dont have to surcome to her childish tactics anymore.  I know most womeen win in custody battles, so im already doubting i can win.  I also can't really afford thousands of dollars to pay an attorney and especially not if im just gonna lose anyway. Please help me if you can. i could use all the help i can get!

[Ref]

First you need to get paternity established, if you haven't yet. Without this you have no rights at all. Then you must file to get a parenting plan established so you will know when and where and how you will see your child. This will undoubtedly result in the mom filing for child support being established.

Do a google search for child support calculators for your state. It will give you a good idea of what you might have to pay.

Unless the child has been living with you, you are right, you probably wont get custody. If you can prove that BM is using drugs (Maybe she has a DWI on her record?) you might have a better shot, but even then they might leave the child there and require pee tests.

As far as visitation, I would suggest trying a 50/50 parenting plan where you have the child 1/2 of the time and the mom has the other 1/2. You can find some sample plans on this site. Just make sure you are VERY specific. Name times, locations of pick-up, what happens if you can't make it. What happens if child is ill. etc.

Also, this will not stop a crazy person from being crazy. You will be pissing her off ROYALLY by doing this. For one, you will make her feel that she is losing contol over her daughter. For two, this is pretty much declaring your rejection of her. She will be pissed and this will not end the games that she is playing. If anything the games will have just begun. On the other hand, you will eventually have to face this once you decide to marry someone else or have another child with another and at that point you will be even worse off for the time that has passed without rights.

Good luck and put your game face on!

Ref