Modifying an Old Divorce Decree

[hearnems]

I was very young when i got divorced, incredibly stupid and I got screwed hard in the divorce decree.  I'm a little older and a lot tougher now.  I've been dealing with the bias out there against fathers for years now and I finally reached a point where I am absolutely fed up with it.   I am willing to do whatever is necessary to end this for myself and others.  I am trying to get my divorce decree modified so that it is fair.  I live in Texas, and although I love almost everything about this state, the divorce laws favor those with vaginas.  What can I do to even the playing field?  And I don't want the conventional wisdom that says, "Get a lawyer."  I have had four lwayers and things are still not fair.  I recognize the need for lawyers to do certain things, but I need more than just this canned advice.  I am my lawyer's boss and I don't want to be an ignorant boss.  Can I sue my state for discriminating against me based on my sex?  It seems like the other side is always willing to sue, but us nice guys will never get dirty like they will.  Well, I'm sick of being a nice guy who gets run over by a legal system that is clearly biased against me because I have a penis.  If anyone knows of resources to help me change things, please contact me.  I am itching for a fight...

[Aggiedad]

The only good advice that I can give to you is:
         1. if you love your child you have to be the "NICE" guy
         2. play by the rules, especially in Texas
         3. try to work on a CIVIL relationship with the mother (?)

I do agree, in some cases, that fathers get ripped and are not treated equally.  The judges, most of the time, award custody to women based on two factors. 1. Wowmen are assumed to be the natuaral caregiver and 2. the fact that when two couples split,  men (most of the time)make the mistake of leaving the child behind with the other parent.  So basically, the one that leaves is the one that 9 times out of 10 does not get to choose where the child resides.    

The only way you will ever get anything back is by documentating every move you make and every move your EX makes.  Get SUPER involved with your child.  Get to know their doctors, teachers, counselors, coaches, etc.  Then when something "substantailly" changes.....go for a change or modification in court.    

I would love to give you some advice based on the research I have done, but you will need to post some specifics on your case. Like: what you want, what you have, proof, and what was done, etc.  I can give you some advice based on my experience but I am not a lawyer, only a dad that loves his children with all of his heart.  No matter how much HELL you raise in TEXAS, nothing will get done unless you have documentation, money, lawyers at your discreation, and politicians in your pack pocket.  Again these are my opinions.  

Aggiedad

[notnew]

If there has been a material change in circumstance, you have grounds to change your existing order. It is up to the court's discretion to decide what is really material change.

Change in job, living conditions, ability to care for child, actual care for child (bad grades, missing school, etc.), moved, income changes, failure to follow court orders, etc......

Just as Aggiedad said, we cannot relate our experiences to you if we don't know specifically what you are trying to get.

We all need to rant sometimes. Unfortunately, it rarely, if ever brings about any positive change, just blows off some steam.

You don't have to have a lawyer to work this system. But you do need brains, common sense (not that the court has any), and a heck of a lot of self-control.

I am not famaliar with Texas law, just MD - it seems they are all biased to some degree.

If you want to know how others have fared in similar circumstances, you have to post specifics.

Good luck!

[Aggiedad]

Texas actually words is as a "substantial change", but it is the same thing.  But either way it is really both!  Aggiedad

[msme]

Start reading. there is so much info on this site. I know you are down on Lawyers but you need to hire one that is a Board Certified Family Law & Custody Specialist. Ask the right questions when you interview. What percentage of your firm's clientell are fathers seeking custody? What is your success rate in defending these types of cases?

What county are you in? I am in Wichita County. I know a great one here. He does travel. He is not cheap but cheap lawyers are like cheap tatoos. They usually are not very good & it costs a lot more getting it undone than it cost to do it. Let me know if you want his info.

We had a very biased judge here & with a lot of hard work at election time, she is gone. The first time in Texas History that a sitting judge was unseated.

Good luck & God bless.

You never get a second chance to make a first impression!