BM Threatens to take my Son away!

[chardog]

She found out that I am trying to serve her paternity papers, which she has been hiding from.  I have my son 3 days a week which she agreed on, now she's turning her back.  What do I do?

She is doing out of revenge.  She's gonna get him a new sitter as well because 1 on 1 with my aunt isnt good enough!

[chardog]

I have the day off tomorrow and she refuses to let me see my son.  Instead, she will let the HER sitter watch my son.  SHE WILL NOT LET ME SEE MY SON AT ALL.

[notnew]

Time to file an ex-parte' for an emergency hearing to get custody and/or visitation established.

Do you have an attorney?

I am not famaliar with your circumstances so cannot offer anything further except - MOVE YOUR ASS! Time is a wastin' and waiting for her to do the right thing will only result in you getting screwed.

Keep us posted.

[Kent]

Do you have an attorney?
Is there a custody order?
Please tell us more about your situation, there is not much we can do with the limited info you have given so far.

If there is no custody order, she has the right to bring your child to a babysitter.
However, if you are officailly the father (birth certificate etc.) you also have the right to pick up your child from the babysitter the moment she leaves.
You will need to bring law enforcement, since the sitter won't let you inside her house.

If there is a custody order, and she's not following it, then file contempt charges. If she's withholding all court ordered parenting time, file for an emergency hearing.

Good luck.

Kent!

[chardog]

wow, great advice

I already consulted an attorney previously, and tried to retain him yesterday, but he was too busy.  He said the earliest time would be tuesday, so I have to wait.  I had a trip planned for my son during labor day, since those are my days, but that F#N bitch did this to me!

I dont have custody order yet, though I have already filed for it... trouble is trying to serve her.  She claims she is never home, so no I gotta wait a bit and serve her at work.

btw, the sitter is her mother, and she's committing welfare fraud by letting other adults stay at the house.  Should I use that as leverage or just report them?  her sister has an ongoing matter as an accessory to murder... I dont like my son staying there, since her bf was the murderer and still on the loose.

we BOTH agreed that her mother is unfit to raise my child because she's a smoker, she doesnt like babysitting, she does a poor job, she has 4 minors of her own and babysitting 2 infants already, and she's just not good with children.  We agreed that my aunt AND grandma are best fit because they give him the best 1 to 1 service and have no other worries.

how long would the custody order take?  I've replied to the child support services and filed my own paternity case beginning of the month, and yet to serve her for various reasons(she gave me wrong address, not being home, ect).

[msme]

are you or were you married to her? If so, it makes a lot of difference in everything. Also, before you hire an attorney, ask these questions. What percentage of the firms cases are fathers seeking custody? What is the firms success rate in defending fathers in custody cases? If they can't give you answers that sound good to you, keep looking.

You should try to hire a lawyer that is a Board Certified Family Law & Custody Specialist. They are expensive but anyone less increases the  risk. A cheap lawyer is like a cheap tatoo. You usually aren't happy with the results & it costs a lot more to undo the damage.

Keep coming back. There's lots of help here. Good luck & God bless.

[notnew]

YOU cannot serve her. You must have someone who is not a party to the action serve her. That can be anyone as long as they are 18 and they fill out a affidavit of service (available at the court if it is not attached to your paperwork). SHE can also be served anywhere you know she is going to be at. Have your friend/relative serve her at the next exchange. Not a nice way to do it, but if you cannot get her served any other way then do it.

This is war and you have to make a pre-emptive strike to give yourself leverage and the advantadge of being the first to move.

DO NOT argue with her, etc. It would be best to have a witness with you at each exchange. Don't be suprised if false allegations about your conduct arise and the court gives credence to this crap all the time so it is better to be pro-active. Also, live your life squeaky clean and spend as much time with your kids as you can.

The attorney you mention, have you had any conversation at all yet? Any comments given or opinions yet?

Welfare fraud is a dead issue so dont' waste your time on it. The issue of the sister involved in murder trial and her BF being the alleged suspect and on the run is pertinent because those are the people around the child.

What did you reply to child support services to? That could be a problem regarding custody issues but I don't know since I dont' know what for.

More great advice, stop thinking in terms of what she has done to you. Your thoughts and comments should be in terms of what is in the best interests of the child. That is what the court is interested in.

[chardog]

I am aware of the way papers are served.  My brother is trying to serve her by certified mail.  I was never married to this gal, hence the paternity papers.  I will go with kent's advice and I'm gonna head to the police station soon.

btw I've already spoke with the lawyer previously about this case, and acted with advice of fellow members

[notnew]

How many times has he tried to serve her via certified mail? Personally, I dont' think that is your best move here, but you are welcome to do it however you want. BUT, if she gets the idea to file and has someone serve YOU in person then she gets the filing first advantadge. Do you see what I mean?

You mean about getting law enforcement to escort you to pick up your child from the sitter (Kent's Advice), right?  Take a copy of the birth certificate naming you as the father and any other supporting paperwork you may have. I personally have never had to involved the police for a forced pick up, but have seen others on this site report that the police often don't want to get involved. I hope you have better luck then I have seen with others. You do have every right to have the child just as she does. When no custody order is in place, it's a free for all.

I am not trying to be offensive in my postings, just letting  you know that some things are pretty important. Also, I have been reading postings on here for over 6 years, Kent has been around that long if not longer, he said in his post that you didn't give enough information to let us fully know what things really are. We can't remember everything. If you posted before and got helpful advice, that is great. Us old folks need reminders about these things though.

Good luck. I hope you get your child for your planned weekend.

[chardog]

well I tried to get the police involved, but they wont help me without a court order.  I tried getting help around the courthouse, but everyone is closed by noon.  Hopefully my lawyer will straighten things out.

child paternity should be mandatory at the hospitals, I dont believe this crap.