Terminate mother's rights!!

[Fernfive]

Last year, I came to this forum to get help in gaining sole legal and physical custody of my five year old son. I received AWESOME advice and was granted this custody in October of 2003. ( THANK YOU:>)
I'm now back because I need more help. I want to terminate his mother's parental rights. I am not sure how to do this or if it is even possible. I am re-married(1 year) and have two step children. My son's mother is in prison and will remain there for three more years. HE has not seen or heard from her in over a year. (In jail for attempted murder!) She has made no effort to call or send any mail to him from jail even though she has access to our address and phone #. My fear is that she will get out in 3 years, and my son will be forced to visit this woman he does not know. What should I do to avoid this from happening! Any advice,? Please help!!!

[MKx2]

Well, you can terminate a bio parent's rights, BUT you must have a step-parent who is willing to legally adopt the child at that time.

Regardless of the bio mother's lack of contact, it is a VERY serious matter to terminate her rights as a parent, and should be given the most serious of consideration prior to embarking on this road.

I, for one, am not in favor of this, in most circumstances.  Perhaps you can post some further details of your reasons for this.

[KND]

I understand your concerns, and her lack of contact has to be hard on your son. That being said, I think it takes a hell of a lot more than a year of no contact for parental rights to be terminated, even if the mom is a royal screwup. If you are concerned for his safety, as it sounds like you have good reason to be, then I'd suggest allowing her as little contact as SHE chooses during her time in prison, and petitioning for supervised visitation before she is released. While she may not be the best person in the world to be around your son, she is still his mother, and above all he has a right to get to know her, even if he doesn't know her now. I'd also suggest incorporating a 'therapy clause' into the supervised visitation order. What I mean is to ask the court for 1-2x/week visits at a supervision center, along with 1x/week with a therapist of your choice. Preferably, get him into therapy now so he has an established relationship with the therapist and the therp is well aware of the situation. Then when you ask for supervised contact (citing her lack of involvment and violent crime history), you have grounds to ask for the therapy to take place with your son's current therapist in order to maintain continuity for the child. This keeps her from yanking him around to a therapist that will spew mommy's rights bullshit just to get her way.

That being said, if supervised visitations and therapy with the child are refused on her part, and several more years go by without her maintaining any type of relationship with him, in spite of your every effort to encourage a healthy relationship...then look at terminating her rights.

Hope that helps, opinions welcome.

KND

[FatherTime]

I'm gullible, and forgiving, and I love my child very much.

I don't know all the aspects of your case.  I don't know the intentions of your son's mother.  But your intentions in my eyes may...(may) not be in the best interests of your son.

I lost my father at age five.  I grew up without him and I knew that I could never see him again.  BUT I always wished he was around, at least where I could get a look of him.  It must be part of the "Who am I" process to look at your parents and make some kind of self-determination.  

Yes, a convicted attempted murderer is not a good example for a child.  However, maybe a born again christian is a good example.  (leave it alone, Brent)  Maybe, there can be some good.  Before you abort this child's parent please take a look at all sides, especially from your son's point of view.  You have plenty of time to look at it and make a decision.

FatherTime

[Imom]

Talk with an attorney.  The advise you will get here is not a good idea, or think about it to don't do it. My advise is think about it first and formost, and wait a little longer, talk with your family. I had my children's bd sign/terminated, he went 4 years of no contact, no calls, letters, gifts or visits and we lived in the same town. My decision came from a dream, if something would happen these children would go to his care, our youngest had never seen him, my husband and I had got thogether when my youngest was 8 months, oldest was 3.  He was their dad to them both, I could not even live to think these children would go to a stranger, I'm sorry thats what he was to them. My husband filed to adopt them, the judge ordered bd to sign away his rights or he would terminate visitation/legal rights and grant the adoption, but would still be responsable for support. YES, this is what the jugde told him, so he signed the papers.

In your case bm is in jail, but she can at least mail the child letters, this is why I say wait alittle longer at least, but still talk with an attorney. Bm may just need sometime.

[kiddosmom]

Before I can offer any opinion, I need to ask a ?....
Was the attempted murder focused on your child?
Or you because she was mad at you?

[FatherTime]

>"The advise you will get here is not a
>good idea, or think about it to don't do it."


What?

[MYSONSDAD]

My mistake, I meant to post this to IMOM

Maybe I am not reading this post correctly. Maybe I have blurred vision.

If this situation was reversed [daddy in jail], I'd lay odds the father would never see his child again.

The therapy advise that knd passed along, is very good. It's very practical and also helps protect the child. Something any Judge should go along with.

[StPaulieGirl]

Perhaps she is ashamed of herself, and can't call or mail the boy, because of what she did.  Have you talked to the warden about this?  I'm not sure who you would speak to, but the warden would be first on my list.  Your husband has a right to know her mental state, because it is likely that she will be granted visitation when she is released.  This could have bearing on her parole hearing.  If she is avoiding her son due to being ashamed of herself, that's actually a good thing.  She knows that what she did was wrong.  What is she doing to improve her life while she is in prison?

This information is crucial to making such a decision towards terminating the mother's parental rights.

Good luck, and take care :-)

 

[Indigo Mom]

But look at what it took to remove us from our kids lives!  Lies!  The crime I "supposedly" committed was a 6 year sentence in prison...I wasn't "allowed" to see my child because I was a weapon swinging maniac.

This woman attempted to murder someone!  I'm curious as to "who" and the rest of the juicy details, but I have to say...if this was a father, his rights would have been slam dunked the DAY he was arrested.  

I surely wouldn't want my child around an "attempted murderer".  This person tried to take a life...and obviously (thankfully) failed!  

I don't believe in this "finding God" thing, either.  The woman tried to murder someone...of course she'll "find God" when it's important to her being released into society.  Most people in prison play that game.  

I don't know about rehabilitation.  I DO know prisoners can...but come on...she's making no attempt to contact her child.  Yes, that could mean she's ashamed or embarrassed, but damn...she could at LEAST write a letter.  Everyone in jail gets paper and pencil.  If she's embarrassed, it's her own damned fault.  She's being punished for a crime, then going on to punish her child.  

I'm sorry, but I don't believe in having children around someone who tried to take the life of another.  I do feel for those who lost their fathers at a young age, but this case is different.  This mother didn't die a "natural" death...she tried to cause that to someone else.