Our Son Wins!

[MYSONSDAD]

Been a long time since I posted here. Many new folks here and I hope my experience can help others. Very long, hard fight. Did not see a light in the tunnel until the other day. My case was very high conflict. Don't even know how I made it thru.

Wanted to give the oldtimers an update on my fight. Our son won. Had a great attorney, a fair Judge. In fact, it was the Judge who had the greatest impact on the final results. She was terrific. If anyone knows a site were I can post a good Judge, I would like to add her name. We all hear too often of bad judges, so this is refreshing.

Ended this having a true shared custody agreement. 50% time share, joint legal and physical custody. Every aspect of our sons life, will now be shared.

Best advice I can give anyone here, is NEVER give up, ever. Stay focused on the child/children.  I decided from the beginning to take the high road. Kept the focus on the best interests for our son. Did alot of reading in the archives here, read thru posts made by others and what worked for them. Became knowlegeable on my state statues. Knowledge is key.

DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT, stay organized with your paperwork, get a lawyer knowledgable in Family Law. My attorney kept me from getting eaten by the wolves, ex got very little financial settlement, about 3%. Attorney had the lum settlement go to our son's college education, which pleased me it worked out for our sons benefit. I saved my property and other investments.

There is a tremendious support system at SPARC, from the folks who post what has worked for them, Socreateaser is worth his weight in gold, the many, many people who have helped me in so many ways over the years, can't begin to name them all, Kitty C, Joni, Bolivar just to name a few.

I know this is far from over, ex will continue her pattern. Just sitting back biding my time for now. Next time, I have no doubts, I will have full custody. But in my heart, shared custody is best for our son. Judge is just giving her one last chance to work with me. I can live with shared. Just hoping ex will grown up and co-parent.


"Children learn what they live"

[Ref]

Enjoy this victory and try not to spoil it by anticipating the next fight!!!!!

WooooHoooo

[WhatToDo]

Congratulations and good luck! I'm very happy for you!

[Kent]

That is great, I am so happy for you!
I know how hard you worked to get to this, and it all worked out in the end.

Hopefully she will grow up and try to cooperate with you.

Kent!

[Kitty C.]

MSD, I remember a time when you were SO close to giving up, but you hung in there for your son.  I am so happy for you both!  And you've given me some valuable information a time or two as well, which I can't thank you enough for.

You fought the good fight, with you head held high.  Your son will remember this as well for the rest of his life!

[MYSONSDAD]

If there is any way we can keep civil communications going, I am all for it. It is better for our son.

I did see your post not long ago about how things were going with the BM on your end. Sounds like she has matured, THANK GOD! So much better for the kids. So much better for you!

How is your son? I know he has had a bad time of it for the last few years. Hope he is finding some peace and a way to move forward after the loss of his father.

By the way, I also reached my other goal we talked about a few years ago. Ex kept at me with RO's but they finally cleared and I was able to move on.

Glad to see you back here, your suggestions and sound advice have always enriched these boards more then you know!

"Children learn what they live"

[Kitty C.]

Now you're making me blush!!! :-)

DS is still dealing with his father's death.  I still do not regret sending him to SageWalk, even tho he does not appear to be benefitting from it right now.  After coming back, he didn't have the ability to translate his experience there with real life.  He kept saying SW was the only thing real and the real world is what's fake!  (And you know, there IS some truth to that!)  In my impact (1st) letter to him at SW, I told him that 50 years from now, he would remember his time at SW like it was yesterday, and he still agrees with me on that aspect.  I still cannot thank you enough for telling me about wilderness therapy programs.  I learned even more just by researching them and it has all helped!

I have explained to practically everyone involved with him in the past year that so many of the negative behaviors he's been exhibitting have only surfaced since his dad died.  The only problem is that his severe ADHD exascerbates every behavior and makes it hard to see what the underlying cause is.  I KNOW what it is.  When his hard-nosed, tough-as-nails probation officer didn't bat an eye when I told her that if I knew it would be this difficult to get help for my son, I would have told him to break the law 4 years ago, I knew I hit the nail on the head and hard.

So he's now in RTC, after doing over 4 1/2 months in JDC with no help whatsoever.  And he'll be 18 in April...when they show him the door and tell him not to let it hit him on the way out.  The candidates in this area are damn lucky I haven't met up with any of them personally, or I would have bent their ear to the ground!  It's a shame that they've cut so much funding that a child has to break the law in order to get help!

So we just keep plugging away.........and at least he's in a place where he's actually getting some help finally.........I just pray that it's enough and in time............

I will pray for your son if you would please pray for mine........

[MYSONSDAD]

Prayers are on the way, special delivery!

Just remember one thing, "God only gives you what you can handle"

DS will come thru this and look back someday and be greatful for the super Mom he was blessed with.... Whether you realize it or not, you are his strenght.

"Children learn what they live"

[wendl]

Thanks great, I know how long you have been trying to get a fair deal for your son.

Best wishes with the 50/50 for your sons sake.  That is just great.

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**