Good News For One Dad

[helpingdad]

I have been reading this website for about 2 years now and have gained a lot of knowledge and insight about what parents go through.

Our story begins with a dad who has 3 kids. After 10 years his ex found someone new and wanted a divorce. Divorce is finalized. Dad was convinced not to go to go court because that would "mess" things up for Mom. Yes I can hear all the gasps from you. This is one very trusting guy. Dad was not well schooled in family law. Mom told him they have shared parenting. He believed her. He never saw the divorce papers until 3 years later when he was about to get remarried.

He then realized that he that he owed thousands for back child support. He had the kids most of the time all those years and loved it. Mom loved it too because she didn't have any parental responsibility and lots of time for friends and partying.

New ordeal began for him. In order for him to take care of his home, kids, and child support he had to move to get a better paying job. This was the hardest thing for him to do. This is a dad who gave his kids a bath every night. Read them a story every night. Made them breakfast and lunch everyday. Made sure their homework was done. Helped them study for a test. His days started at 5:30 a.m. and ended about 9:00 p.m.

The kids wanted to move with him but weren't allowed to.

He finally got enough money to get a lawyer and asked for custody change. After 5 months of agony and continuaces, he was granted custody of the 2 minor children. He is so happy. His kids are in a stable home with a parent who is a parent everyday. His responsiblity is 24 hours. He loves it. It hasn't all been easy. The mother is mad. She misses her support check. She may take him to court again.  She uses every opportunity to insult him. But Dad is happy to have his children with him everyday. He does encourage his kids to have a relationship with their mother. He knows that children need a relationship with both parents.

Just wanted to say that for any parent who is trying to do the best for their children and want custody of them, there is hope. It seems to be harder for men than women but still there is hope. Even if you don't get custody, you will know that did all you could. It is still worth it even if you get your heart broken in a million pieces. Your children will someday understand that you did all you could.

Ignorance of family law can hurt you as much as a vengeful ex. Please learn all you can and don't rely on your lawyer to do it all for you. Don't pester or be disrespectful to your lawyer. You will be amazed how much they will listen when you treat them as professionals. Your case is not the most important to him. Your case is the most important to you.

Dad now can understand why some fathers give up when they have been beaten down. But his advice is whatever the outcome is always do the best you can for your kids even when it takes so much out of you.

Best wishes as you parent your children.

[determined]

Nobody ever said it was easy, but doing the right thing can pay in the long run.