scene from Gladiator....."whatever comes out of that gate....."

[falsely accused]

I am going to first hearing for divorce.    Haven't seen my wife in a long time because of restraining order.  I will see her soon for the first time and she will make the allegations against me, that I am the lowest most terrible person I am sure.   I am sure it will be all blown out of proportion and make me want to get swallowed up by a hole in the ground.   I am worried I will have such a hard time with it and be so hurt I might lose my grip.   She is emotionally unstable and does not see clearly, and has always exaggerated little things I did wrong.   She thinks I am terrible, and it is so opposite who I am.  MY good points far outweigh my bad.   There must be humanity and fairness in this.  I really don't feel like trashing her, I just don't have the hate.  

I feel like Russel Crowe in the movie gladiator, when he was in the middle of the colesseum with the other gladiators he was to put on a defense with.   He told them, "whatever comes out of that gate be ready and stick together...."    He felt like he was going to pee in his pants probably, not knowing what was going to attack him, not knowing if he was going to get attacked by lions or chariots or other gladiators.   He just sat and waited and calculated.  

I am that man standing in the middle of the colesseum.   There are many people watching.   I really did not even do anything wrong.   I don't know what is going to hit me.   I am a little afraid honestly.  

Any advice???

[mistoffolees]

Just try to remember - accusations are not facts. Almost everyone involved with the court system knows that there are plenty of false accusations thrown around - particularly in child custody cases. The only thing that matters is what she can PROVE.

Don't get hung up on the accusations. A good attorney will help you.

[falsely accused]

thanks for the input.

So, if I am going to interpret what you are saying......

Deny somethings even if they are true?  As long as they don't have proof?    Is this common?    Obviously a breach of oath.  

[mistoffolees]

>thanks for the input.
>
>So, if I am going to interpret what you are saying......
>
>Deny somethings even if they are true?  As long as they don't
>have proof?    Is this common?    Obviously a breach of oath.
>

That's not what I said at all.

I said that there are lots of false accusations. That doesn't mean that EVERY accusation is false.

My point was that if the accusations are false, that the person is likely to be exonerated in the end - not that a guilty person should lie.

[falsely accused]

o.k. thanks.

but, should an innocent person deny an unrelated allegation that may be part true (because the other side will exaggerate to the highest degree)?  I mean, you assume that any allegation you make to the other side will be denied.   Even if you KNOW that it is true.

My question is about courtroom culture.  I get the impression that it is the same old same old, accuse and deny, for both sides.   Makes it hard to get to the truth probably.  

[mistoffolees]

>o.k. thanks.
>
>but, should an innocent person deny an unrelated allegation
>that may be part true (because the other side will exaggerate
>to the highest degree)?  I mean, you assume that any
>allegation you make to the other side will be denied.   Even
>if you KNOW that it is true.
>
>My question is about courtroom culture.  I get the impression
>that it is the same old same old, accuse and deny, for both
>sides.   Makes it hard to get to the truth probably.  

The answer is that you tell the truth simply and honestly. If they ask a question which is true, you say 'yes'. If it's false, you say 'no'. If you're not sure, you ask for clarification or say you're not sure.

If the answer is true, but that gives an incorrect impression, leave it to your attorney to clarify.

If anything I've written makes you think that I consider it OK to give false testimony, I apologize because that's not my intent.