So Tired!

[sparrowmom]

To begin,
 I have experienced all sides of the fence.
CP, NCP,SP, And then some!
(not to mention a child of dysfunction myself)

When I read of a NCP Whining about not being able to attend Sporting Events, I See RED!

  So... How Far do you "NCP" expect to travel to attend sporting events?

As a CP parent living in the "boonies" If I only have to drive 1 hour it is great!  (most games are 2 hours away and we attend EVERY game)

The NCP I currently deal with seems to have a problem attending games and supporting the Team.  

If I can travel 2 hours to a game to watch my child sit on the bench, one would think the NCP could as well.
 (but the NCP won't)

NCP expects a MEDAL for every game they attend Once a Year!
 

 (They seem to Leave before the Game (Christmas Program) is over!
I recently extented an offer to reduce Court Ordered Support in hopes that the NCP would agree to allow a teen to play sports and be allowed to grow up.
NCP refused and made things difficult.  

NCP told child they were to short, to young and will not Drive.
And Yet... the state allowed the child a Drivers Licence.
Hmmmm......

 Also, the NCP did not complain when the child started driving on their own for Visitation.  \
 To Date:
I have reduced Child Support by 20$ a month (only 2 years to go)
Been asked to compensate the NCP Loss (Bonus Money) from the IRS

Child has been driving for visits on my Dime...

Never asked for NCP to pay for Medical or Orthodondic treatment.
 (But NCP took me to court for such things)

Life is the same on the other side??
((No one is ever Happy!((
Hugs! and God Bless


Things That Make You Go
Hmmmmmmm

 

[MixedBag]

I would agree that there are CPs out there who have legitimate complaints as well as NCPs out there.

No one denies that here.

[mistoffolees]

>((No one is ever Happy!((

And that's exactly the point I've been trying to make.

The situation is tough all around. There is no solution for divorces with kids that will make everyone happy. It's just not possible - other than perhaps a small number of cases).

Yet every time someone has a gripe, they complain that the system is a failure and that they're being cheated and if only the system treated men (or NCPs or unemployed parents or employed parents or whatever) better, that the world would be fine.

In most cases, the system does the best that it can in a difficult situation. But no matter what happens, someone will be unhappy.

Could it be better? Sure. But it's not a total failure as some would have you believe.

[Davy]

>>(No one is ever Happy!((

Uhmmmm...Hey dad's...we MAY be gaining.  WE have people that are NOT FATHERS (including Mist and Sparrowwoman) blowing smoke up everybody a$$ on a 'Father Issues' board.

I was Happy when 2 of my children under my care and influence liked themselves (again), were doing well in school, stopped fighting, stealing, abusing alcohol and drugs, worked, coached young players, gained college athletic scholarships, pastored others, contributing to society,etc

AT THE SAME TIME :

I was UNHappy when 1 of my children NOT under my care and influence was raped by 3 adult men at 16 yrs old, HATED themselves,  dropped out school, had 2 children born out of wedlock,  continued fighting, stealing, abusing and sold alcohol and drugs, could'nt worked, spent years in treatment, beaten up at home/community many times, avoided prison at least twice, burdered society,etc  


The worst of all.  There are many other situations that are equally bad or worst.  

This is a great country with many many problems to the point that we are losing many of our long held institutions.  

What do you want for our endangered children ??  Happy or UNhappy ??

[olanna]

And neither is the Social Security system, right?

[sparrowmom]

Davy,
You said: ">Uhmmmm...Hey dad's...we MAY be gaining.  WE have people that
>are NOT FATHERS (including Mist and Sparrowwoman) blowing
>smoke up everybody a$$ on a 'Father Issues' board."

I Say:
Could you explain your thoughts a bit more??
I actually have every right to post on the "Fathers" board if you consider that I have acted as both Father and Mother in the past. I can also post for my son's ""DAD"" You know, the one who has raised him from diapers and actually Attends Childs events! As a Step-Father, he has earned the title of "Father" and he has "issues" he would love to discuss.

You said: "
>The worst of all.  There are many other situations that are
>equally bad or worst.  

I Say:
You are correct!!  In fact, there are just as many children that have difficulties in life no matter what type of "Family" they are derived from.
I bet everyone reading this knows of at least 1 child that had been raised in a family of "A Biological Parental Unit" that has caused worry in trouble at some point.  
 A Child in Trouble has Nothing to do with Divorce or unmarried parents.
It can happen either way.

Davy, I cannot even adress the rest of your nonsense.  What institutions are you speaking of?  

As a "Parental Unit" dealing with a NCP who is difficult.
 ((that was the original meaning of my post))
I am happy to say that despite the NCP attempts to attack.
 Example: Telling child they will do Drugs because they live with Mom.
 Accusations of abuse years ago with evidence of a "Birthmark" GASP
 Oh Yea, Child will burn in Hell because Mom is not the same religion.
 (Father is OCD and changed his religion when child attended a NON-Denomination activity with all the other children in the community)  
He was Catholic, Mom is Lutheran, and child attended a Baptist activity.)

Despite what the NCP parent thinks, My Childs involvement in the school, home and community speaks volumes.
Plays sports, is an Officer of a well known national club, is a member of student council, is not known to drink alcohol or take drugs, (although I am not a parent that will ever say "Not my child"... But I am fairly certain as Child is always home.... unless away with a parent or Coach. Child has less than 3 years of HS left.
 How many other parents can say this of their own Teens?

What would YOU People think of a person that accused a boy in the peak of puberty of "Wetting at night"??? My Childs NCP did. He and the Step-mom even required child to submit himself for inspection every morning when visiting.  

WOW, So now that I have gotten that off my chest!  
 (Secretly hoping the NCP is out there reading)
I can backup everything I have said relating to my personal situation.

As I said, I have been a CP, NCP and a SP..... I am also a child of Divorce...  My Mother was a very bitter woman and did her best to deter my relationship with my father. (Heck, I am 40 something , 3 kids, married and happy & she is Still trying to cause conflict!)  I Loved my Father, Call his wife my MOM.
Also, as a NCP... I love and adore my Childs Father... I would also love to have a better relationship with his wife if she would let me. (Even though child is old enough to have a family of their own) We never had to fight and argue about who was better..  We were all good...  We were also insightful enough to deter the point when teens play the "I Wanna Go Live With... ____ "

When I was a SP... DANG! I really did resent the Support taken out every month!  I Guess that is why I Never asked for an increase from the person I am speaking about.
As I said, I requested CP be lowered.. (Still was not good enough for NCP who has never been required to pay the required amount)
Heck, I would refuse it if I could.. But the state Mandates it...  Luck has it.... I can live without the Child Support ..  Every Dime has been put away for years and will provide a very nice "Nest Egg" for this Childs adult needs.  (Things like a home or other important life desires)  

That said,
Anyone remember what my original post was about?
That is what I wished to discuss.

Marching On... but always enjoy a positive debate.
God Bless,
SparrowMOM


OOps... Almost forgot!  
Dave, So where where were you??? and who do you blame for the unfortunate incident you speak of?
 Please explain how this would never happened under Your Care!

And then, Tell us all what you did and where you where when a 16yr old was emancipated and had child + 2...    
((I bet they don't call to Grandpa!))
 If they did.... You would not be posting.

Just to refresh..
  ((I was UNHappy when 1 of my children NOT under my care and
>influence was raped by 3 adult men at 16 yrs old, HATED
>themselves, ))

[mistoffolees]

>
>>>(No one is ever Happy!((
>
>Uhmmmm...Hey dad's...we MAY be gaining.  WE have people that
>are NOT FATHERS (including Mist and Sparrowwoman) blowing
>smoke up everybody a$$ on a 'Father Issues' board.
>

You can't even get genders right -even after being corrected repeatedly. Why should anyone believe anything else you say?

[Davy]

Information To Assist Non-Custodial Parents

Welcome to SPARC, the Separated Parenting Access & Resource Center.
SPARC's goal is to ensure that children of divorce continue to have meaningful relationships with both parents, regardless of marital status. We advocate on behalf all non-custodial parents to ensure they get equitable treatment in court and continued access to their children. In addition, we work to promote gender equality in Divorce and Custody issues.

SPARC recognizes the value of fatherhood and supports the concept of true joint custody, where parents work together for the best interests of their children. When joint custody is not possible or workable, we often advocate for fathers as custodial parents. Statistics show that custodial fathers are the most likely to encourage a positive relationship between their children and the other parent and to raise happy, healthy children.

NOTE : the above is the forewood that graciously explains the very essence of why this board exist.  Nothing is gained by you coming to this forum and posting some convulted message berating the father of your child and/or another father expressing sadness because he was not present when his daughter scored a hat trick.  Oh, wait a minute, there is a gain.  You remind some of us of how badly the system is broken ......  

[Davy]

You are greatly MISTAKEN about the reasons this board exist.  This is not a beauty or popularity contest.  

Your post count is meaningless except as an indicator of the turmoil you create and seem to thrive on.

You have not corrected anybody about anything repeatly.  

Get over yourself.

By the way, just how many children have you actually fathered ?
I understand the correct answer is zero.  

[mistoffolees]

>You are greatly MISTAKEN about the reasons this board exist.
>This is not a beauty or popularity contest.  

No one said it was. You're the one who seems to think that it's about your fantasies rather than facts.

>
>Your post count is meaningless except as an indicator of the
>turmoil you create and seem to thrive on.

No one brought up my post count except you.

>
>You have not corrected anybody about anything repeatly.  

Actually, I have. For example, I've corrected you repeatedly about my gender. Get someone to read it to you.

>
>Get over yourself.
>
>By the way, just how many children have you actually fathered
>?
>I understand the correct answer is zero.  

And, once again, you're making things up.

Why don't you try to stick to facts rather than your imagination?