Please help me understand

[New Creation]

My husband and I have been married 4 1/2 years. He had a very breif sexual relationship with a woman 1 year before we met and married.

During their relationship of 4 months, she told my husband that she was pregnant by someone BEFORE they started their relationship, so my husband went his seperate ways, and she went with the man that was the father of her child.

Fast forward 4+ years later, the other mans attorney calls and wants my husband to sign over parental rights, we were shocked and confused. So, my husband said no and what is going on. Well, apparently years have went by and she told this man whom she has never married that her daughter 10 y/o, and this son were his children. He is on the birth cert. Then they break up and he wants joint custody, and she drops a bomb in his lap and says he in fact is not the father of the son, but my husband is! Well, needless to say, he didn't show up for court because he thought he didn't have a leg to stand on, and we were never contacted by her.

Now, 3 months ago suddenly she wants my husband to proclaim his fatherhood to this boy. We demaned a test, she said fine, but then didn't and woudn't give her address or any information. Now, last week she is ready to give her address.

We have had an attorney for over a year waiting for her to cooperate with information.

My question is, I am researching as much as I can, but isn't there ANY recourse for this woman who has practactly destroyed lives and families? Had she been truthful my husband would have been a part of this child's life, but now all he is is a wallet. We have not done the test yet, but if it does come out positive, all we are is $$. We have no rights, why doesn't someone start fighting against this system of women who lie and manipulate get away with it. I think it is criminal.

[Peanutsdad]

While probably all of us feel yours and your husbands pain,, the sad fact is,, it isnt criminal, its the way it is.

Even worse, if your husband is proven NOT to be the father, no repercussions will come to her for her attempt at hoodwinking the courts, the father, your husband or the child.

[Forgotten Father]

Wow...this sounds EXACTLY like what happened to me except 12 years had passed.

I found out a year and a half ago that I have a 12 year old son.  The mother wanted me to sign away my rights and let her new husband of one month adopt him.

I refused and sued her for shared parental responsibility.  She fought it all the way but I won.

Your husband does have rights if he chooses to fight for them.  Yes one of those rights is to support his child but he also has the right to raise him, visit him and even have custody (would take alot to get).

How much you are involved is up to you...but you will have to pay support.  But trust me paying for a child and not having any kind of say gets old real quick.  You begin to feel that parental responsibility.

Tread softly and good luck.

Forgotten Father

[New Creation]

forgotten father! Wow, so did you get custody???? That is what we want!

We want someone to change things regarding fathe's who are lied to and manipulated! (a long shot I know) we want a judge to see what is going on.

This woman has lied in such horrible ways that she is leaving a trail of hurt people. For instance the man who she origianlly said was the father of 2 of her children found out after 10 years of raising these children and loving them neither are his. So very sad.

Thank you for your post we are trying the best we can to fight for what is right, I am just getting so disturbed on how father's in these cases are treated.

[Peanutsdad]

Stick around for a while,, and you'll become more than disturbed. Get into this fight with that woman, soon, you'll get a certain look,,, that you will begin to see in complete strangers. You'll be in the grocery store, the local walmart, and recognize the same look in others. After a while, you may even approach one of these people and ASK them if they are in a custody fight,, just to see if you are crazy,, and you wont be.

You'll spend your life, your innocence, and your finances in the meatgrinder. Life wont ever be "normal" again. For a time, everything in your life will take backseat to this fight and these issues. Then, hopefully, you find a sort of balance between living a life, and living this hell.

I find I still become infuriated when I meet another parent getting shafted and at a loss as where to turn. Every time I meet one, I give them my home number, this sites address and the number of a few good attrnys in our area.

There is a paramedic I met the other night with the Dallas Fire Dept going thru exactly what you are.

Everyone who reads this,, you really want to help? Do all parents a favor,, research attrnys in your area, find the ones that will work with clients of limited means, find the ones who will advise pro se litigants on a limited basis or proof a motion for them. Set up networks of support numbers where you are . Take out an ad in local papers every few months asking for parents that are wrongefully accused or denied their children.

You say,, gee, I havent the money for that,, sometimes, it doesnt take money, it just takes someone willing to put in a little time,, and listen.

[Astro]

lol--NT means No Text!  :D

[StPaulieGirl]

Well there's no logical explanation for this.  There is a moral explanation, though.  This woman is a greedy, amoral, alleycat.  Our society is breeding them like rats.  Ever channel surf and come up with a Jenny Jones or Ricky Lake show...:Who my babydaddy????  15 guys show up for DNA testing and none of them are the daddy.  This might be the case with this woman and her son, regarding your husband.

She doesn't care if her kids have fathers in their lives, but she needs to replace the money lost from the departing wallet, so guess what?  

Now, 3 months ago suddenly she wants my husband to proclaim his fatherhood to this boy. We demaned a test, she said fine, but then didn't and woudn't give her address or any information. Now, last week she is ready to give her address.

[p]Get two different DNA tests from two different labs when she decides to "cooperate".  I don't like the smell of this.  Back a few years ago, and I think Brent posted the story here, there was a huge celebrity paternity scandal.  The Smoking Gun website posted the court documents.  One party hired a PI to root through the other party's trash to secure a DNA sample.  Dental floss, hair removed from a comb....you get the picture?

Unfortunately you aren't alone.  Lots of people come here and have similar situations.  Paternity fraud needs to stop, and the people who perpetrate it need to be punished.  

[Astro]

lol--NT means No Text!  :D

[StPaulieGirl]

Well there's no logical explanation for this.  There is a moral explanation, though.  This woman is a greedy, amoral, alleycat.  Our society is breeding them like rats.  Ever channel surf and come up with a Jenny Jones or Ricky Lake show...:Who my babydaddy????  15 guys show up for DNA testing and none of them are the daddy.  This might be the case with this woman and her son, regarding your husband.

She doesn't care if her kids have fathers in their lives, but she needs to replace the money lost from the departing wallet, so guess what?  

Now, 3 months ago suddenly she wants my husband to proclaim his fatherhood to this boy. We demaned a test, she said fine, but then didn't and woudn't give her address or any information. Now, last week she is ready to give her address.

[p]Get two different DNA tests from two different labs when she decides to "cooperate".  I don't like the smell of this.  Back a few years ago, and I think Brent posted the story here, there was a huge celebrity paternity scandal.  The Smoking Gun website posted the court documents.  One party hired a PI to root through the other party's trash to secure a DNA sample.  Dental floss, hair removed from a comb....you get the picture?

Unfortunately you aren't alone.  Lots of people come here and have similar situations.  Paternity fraud needs to stop, and the people who perpetrate it need to be punished.  

[StPaulieGirl]

Pretty soon we're all going to look like jacklighted deer.  Pardon my tinfoil hat, but when a court refuses to punish someone who commits a crime such as paternity fraud, I'd like to know why.  "They're" after Christian homeschooling families, too.  Their reason is because they can't make sure the children aren't being abused at home!  You can terminate your pregnancy in the 9th month, but the minute your child pops out of the womb, he/she is government property.  

I know this seems a little off topic, but if you step back and look at how intrusive the government has become in the last 40 years, you might see a pattern.  The orphanage has been replaced by Social Services, a government agency.  Years ago, there would be no question of any unwed parent having rights.  The baby was given up for adoption.  Under unfortunate conditions, a widowed man or woman would have to send the children to an orphanage.  Yeah, that is a horrible choice, but that's what people did before "the Great Society" improved things.  

It's 2004, not 1940, and things have changed.  I can't believe what walks the streets these days.  I can't believe I saw Michael Jackson dancing on an SUV after being indicted on 7 counts of child molestation with a few hundred screaming idiots cheering him on.

Everyone who reads this,, you really want to help? Do all parents a favor,, research attrnys in your area, find the ones that will work with clients of limited means, find the ones who will advise pro se litigants on a limited basis or proof a motion for them. Set up networks of support numbers where you are . Take out an ad in local papers every few months asking for parents that are wrongefully accused or denied their children.

[p]I want to resurrect that bill about Paternity that our impeached governor Davis vetoed.  He vetoed it because he would lose government funding.  Hmmm ok, besides that he was a freakin' weasel all around.  I'd like to see that bill, plus either a rider on that bill or another separate bill regarding paternity fraud.  A lady posted her husband's story about the child who has 3 fathers...according to the "mother".  She and I live in the same state, and have discussed ways to bring this situation to the right people, through email.  Mind you CA is the land of fruits and nuts, but the original bill did pass with 60%(I think) voter approval.  

[p]Activism doesn't cost money, but it does take time and a lot of people.