Opinions or Advice please

[jzurinsky]

Up til now my X and I have not been able to come to some agreement for custody/parenting time etc. So now we go in front of FOC (friend of the court) and they will have to decide. One concern I have is that I do have two convictions on my record. One for Spousal Abuse (x g/f) and another disorderly conduct. I am currently on probation for the first and just have to reappear in front of the judge in 4 months for the second (the judge wants to make sure I stay on my meds and am seeing a therapist). See, I am bi polar and was diagnosed about 5 years ago. During the last 2 years I have had to change doctors 4 times (because of insurance or lack of) the most recent being the one that has helped a great deal. I was in a motorcycle accident and the bi polar got worse. Anyway, now that I am with another doctor and in therapy things are going great. Since I filed for custody/parenting time/support I have been on this rollercoaster ride with my X. She wants me back, she wants to move back in my home even though she has told the courts (through response papers) that I am irrational and my home is dangerous. We have been getting along great (most of the time) when I pick up and drop off our son for parenting time (temporary). And she has come over on a few occassions outside of my scheduled parenting time. I am not sure if this will be to her benefit, mine or both? And if she feels threatened or doesn't feel our son is safe with me then why do this? Any help.Will the courts see this as she must not really feel threatened or feel the safety of our son is in jeoprady? I am thinking the two court situations will hinder me but I would think that her playing these  mind games with me and not sure what she really wants doesn't look good for her as well. If she keeps wanting back in my life then she must not think I am dangerous or a threat.
 

[Kitty C.]

You need 'proof' that she's been coming over to your home willingly.  About the only thing I could recommend is videotaping while she's there, maybe while playing with your child to make it unobtrusive.  It's about the only way you can disprove her arguments that you're 'dangerous'.

As for your history, be absolutely up front and honest about it with the court.  A letter from your current practitioner, detailing how well you're doing now (compared to the past) might go a long way, too.

And I'm sure you've heard this before, but in this case, it's worth repeating:  stay on your meds, no matter what!  If you feel (or someone else tells you) at any time that your meds don't appear to be working as well as before, make an appt. to have them adjusted or changed as soon as possible.  Just because a certain med is working for you now doesn't mean it will work all the time in the future.  Body chemistries can change and throw your 'balance' off.  But don't ever do what my sister does with her depression.  If a med has certain side effects that she doesn't like or just doesn't 'seem' to be working for her, she just stops taking it, without consulting with her doctor.  That has thrown her into long, deep depressions, lasting weeks at a time.  You can't afford something to that degree happening to you.  

[jzurinsky]

Not sure if I can get a video or picture since she doesnt want my parents to come over when she is there. ( she blames them for our breakup) Today she had asked me if she could go grocery shopping with me. And also asked if I could get her a few 'muchies' so when she is over she has something to much on. I have been documenting everything ( textes and verbal (some on tape))and was hoping with the consistencies of what is written and texted it will show what it I am trying to say to the friend of the court. I will try to get a picture today thou.

Also I appreciate the concern with me keeping up with my meds and seeing my doctor. It has been a struggle for me, especially the last two years. I have experienced that most doctors really don't understand the mood disorders. It is sort of a hit and miss with the meds. Some work for some and other don't. She is writing the letter as we speak and am hoping it will help me.

thanks

[Kitty C.]

http://www.truehope.com/main/index.html

This website is from Canada, but the things they are doing with suppliments is unbelieveable.  When you get a chance, read on the history of how the co. was founded..........it will bring a tear to your eye and explain why the founders were SO determined to find another route to treat BPD than just traditional drugs.  I was initially turned to it, because they also recommend it for ADD/ADHD.........I just couldn't get my son to take it and I couldn't afford it at the time, either.  But it certainly sounds like a viable alternative if you struggle with traditional treatment.

[poohbear]

These can be extremely dangerous, as they have very high amounts of many ingredients.

There have been no long-term or double blind studies done on these medications, and reputable doctors warn against taking them. They can cause more harm than good.

[poohbear]

Although pictures of her in your home wouldn't hurt, good written documentation is an excellent way to show what has been going on.

[Kitty C.]

If you research the website thoroughly, you will see that there have been extensive studies done on the products manufactured with this company.  I started this program for my son, who had severe ADHD at the time and we were starting to see good results, but we could not continue, as he could not handle the size of the capsules involved and wouldn't use the powder.  It's not for everyone, for certain.  But it's an alternative that's certainly worth investigating.