Child care

[gemini3]

Our custody agreement doesn't cover child care.  Over the last year we've had numerous incidents of the kids having inadequate or no supervision at home.  Last week my 7 yr old came home with a 3 inch bruise on her leg from a 12 year old boy who lives at her mom's apartment complex.  He apparently hits them, throws them on the ground, etc, on a regular basis.  Mom did nothing about it, and doesn't supervise them when they're outside.

This morning I got a call from my other daughter because her mom left her home alone while she went to class.  My daughter was running a fever when she woke up, so her mom didn't send her to school, just left her home alone with a fever.  She said this is the 3rd time this has happened.  I don't think that this is safe.  She just turned 11.

I'm at my wits end because my ex won't agree to getting child care, and insists the children aren't being left unsupervised.  I can't file anything with the court because our agreement doesn't cover it.  So I was considering having an adendum to the order drawn up that covers child care and asking her to sign it.  If she won't, I'm considering asking the court to add it to our agreement.

Any thoughts?

[Kitty C.]

Definitely on the child left alone with a fever.  Call the authorities and ask for a welfare check, because your child called you saying she was alone and sick.  But you do not have the right to arbitrarily pick her up because of the current custody order and mother's unwillingness to communicate and cooperate.  Do NOT mention anything about the mother being vindictive or retaliatory if you were to act on your own.  That would be an immediate red flag that might give law enforcement the impression that this is only about a custody dispute and you may have difficulty getting them to act.

In instances like this, you MUST contact the authorities.  Heaven forbid something were to happen to her while she was home alone.  Not only would the mother get into deep do-do, but if it comes out that the child called you and you did nothing, you could be prosecuted to the same extent as the mother.

Make sure that the children know they can call you ANY time they are uncomfortable in situations.  Also, if they can't call you, they can call 911.  This includes the incidences with the bully.

[babyfat]

This really does sound like a case for cps to get involved in. You need to call and make a report. And if your daughter calls again because she is sick and home alone call 911 and ask for a welfare check on the child. You put yourself in a rough spot becuase your daughter did call you and you can't necessarly pick her up but you should have reported it.

[FLMom]

Have you thought about filing an addendum for "right of first refusal"? That way if she's not with them and you know it, you have the right to go over and get them until she returns.