requirements during separation

[Fueledbyjava]

I was wondering: If there is no court order in place, what are you required to pay for your STBX while awaiting a divorce hearing? Obviously I know you are required to continue to pay for anything related to your child but if the STBX works and lives on their own what are you required to continue to pay for them? Just wondering.

[olanna]

0, nothing...not a penny.  If you think you will have to pay, put something away in an interest account, and sit tight until the judge orders it.

[Fueledbyjava]

Not even stuff like car insurance, etc? I pay for all our child's school and medical costs and I have her in my care 50% of the time.

[Kitty C.]

Pay for things for your child while she is in your care, but do NOT give your ex any money until the judge orders you to.  Anything you give your ex unless it's ordered is considered a gift, period.

[Fueledbyjava]

Thanks. I cover all of my childs daycare/educational expenses and obviously her needs while in my care.

[Ref]

Keep very detailed records of every cent you spend. Make sure to get receipts and everything. Keep a notebook and track everything in there.

I am not just talking about expenses. That is important but it is at least as important, in my opinion much more important, for you to track the nights that she is sleeping over.

It is nice to trust that your ex will be evenhanded with custody, but as many of us here can attest, this trust has a way of biting you in the butt.

Keep an eye on proving the amount of time you have because the courts like to keep the status quo. If you can prove that you are 50/50 parenting, chances are they wont change that.

Sorry to add on to the question. It just burns so many people here.

Take care,
Ref

[Fueledbyjava]

Thanks for the info. I keep one of those desk calenders and have it marked every day that I have her and also have it mapped out for the days I should have her in the future. I also keep detailed financial records of all childcare payments, expenses etc.

[Fueledbyjava]

Have you ever heard of the court paying back someone for paying 100% of expenses while going through a divorce (childcare, mortgege etc.)

[Davy]

Someone else may have had or know of a somewhat unique situation but my answer would be 'Never'.  someone even wrote a song about it .. 'She got the gold mine and I got the shaft'.

Another consideration.  I was advised to create and maintain an organized case file with index page and index tabs normally by subject matter.... interface notes w/ ex, w / cps, visitation periods, court actions, etc.  I found it instrumental when interfacing with attorneys ...more effective and decreases billable time and increases preparation, effectiveness, etc.  ALWAYS keep a master case file and photocopy for needed distribution.

May be you're already doing this.

[Fueledbyjava]

I do. I document everything.