She must be really scared

[tulip]

DH has court on the 10th. BM really does not want to go. She is trying everything she can to avoid it. They are working on setting up mediation to come to an agreement about joint custody. I'm thinking if they went to court, dh would have a good chance of getting custody and almost want to just go for it. We really can't afford it though. We are so overextended--financially, physically, and emotionally. She told the kids yesterday that she does want to give him joint custody, and asked them when they want to start going week to week. Of course they said right away, they've wanted this for years for crying out loud! But she has made it impossible to get to school from here. She is calling the bus company on Thurs (that's the first day she will have time to make this phone call-yeah right) to find out if they can take one bus one week and another bus the next week. I already know what the answer to that is going to be. Why can't she just get her lazy but out of bed in the morning? She doesn't even get up to make sure they are dressed and eating breakfast before school. SD leaves for school about an hour before ss, so then he is all alone in the morning.

Also, we just found out that her new bf lives with someone that has wolves as pets. The wolves don't like children, and think they are food, so when ss goes there to visit, he has to be carried in so the wolves don't get him. Nice huh?

[mudbunnies]

first off, you and DH have options, look at the pros & cons of each one..

mediation may save you money however, do not settle based on that, if you are not getting the rights you deserve and whats best for the kids..

if your DH & u decide to go for it, call every member of your family that might even consider sending you an xmas present and ask them to send a check to your atty instead... hey 50 bucks here and 20 bucks there adds up....

let them know that all u want for xmas is the children! they should not be insulted, my parents did it when they were fighting to protect a grandchild and every member of our family (except the parent that abandoned them) sent checks to their attorney... the attorney didn't care who the checks came from as long as it identified who to credit it to and that they cleared.

best of luck

keep us posted.

[tulip]

That's a great idea about sending money to the atty. Most of my family only gives gifts to the children though.
Also, dh's divorce decree states that they must go to mediation to resolve any disputes. Therefore, if she will go he has to try that first. If they can't come to an agreement, then they will end up going through the whole ordeal.
His atty is on vacation this week. Dh spoke to his assistant and was told that unless she notifies them in writing like the letter said, they are still going to court. BM thinks it will make him look foolish that they are in court when she stands there and says she is willing to go to mediation. Legal asst said no, it will make her look foolish that she couldn't follow these simple instructions and send them written notice.

[nosonew]

Agree with mudbunnies.  

Also, mediation can take YEARS, literally, and once in mediation, the court will go by what mediator says if court ordered.  (been there, done that *in our case it was good, but have heard horror stories)

Regarding the wolves:  I was bitten by a 1/2 wolf dog on the face, got 16 stitches along my cheek, took 1 year to heal.  Luckily I don't scar too bad and it looks pretty good.  (good surgeon too).  I personally would investigate via internet info on wolves and wolf-hybrids and use that info for the safety of your children.  These dogs can not only maim, but kill.  I don't know how old these kids are, but I was 28 and that dog had me on the ground, all 140 pounds of me, and wouldn't let go, shaking my head like a rag doll.  Not fun.  And terrifying to kids.  

Iwould go to court.  I think I've read some of your other posts, sounds like you have a good case.  And what would you have to lose?????  That is the big question.  You're already broke, so just be a little "broker" for the sake of the kids.  Mediation costs us 150./hr.  Not any cheaper than the atty. (although it is split 50/50 between parents).

Good luck, can't wait to hear what happens.  Nosonew