custody of nine month old daughter

[concernedfather]

I have not been the best husband but I am a great father.  By that statement I mean I had an affair while my wife was pregnant with our daughter.  I am ashamed of myself for having the affair, especially since it was while she was pregnant.  I know that none of you know me or what my typical behavior is; but that is not typical behavior for me.  I have never had an affair in the past.   It is true that I no longer loved my wife but that is no excuse.  Anyway, enough of me trying to make myself feel better for an act I will have to live with for the rest of my life.  

Since the birth of my daughter I have kept her at least 50% of the time.  At first I was keeping her during the night and my wife would keep her when I went to work, usually starting around 12:00PM.  This went on for about three months and we then flip-flopped because my wife decided that it was better for her and the baby to stay at her residence overnight.  From that point until the present, roughly a six month period, I have kept my daughter on a daily basis from 7:00AM until 2:00PM, four or five days a week.  From 2:00PM until 7:00PM my parents watch our daughter.  My wife works a ten hour shift and gets three days off a week .  We alternate weekends.  I have been keeping track of the time since we separated and it is pretty much a 50% split, with our daughter spending half the time w/me or my family and the other half with my wife and her family.  The problem is that now my wife wants sole custody and wants me to pay the maximum percentage of child support.  I know that it is not easy for a father to get 50/50 custody; and I also know that the circumstances surrounding our separation will not look good for me either.  We recently went to our jurisdiction hearing where the judge laid into me and ordered me to pay 20% of my salary without knowing any of the details of the case and/or listening to my attorney.  We were not prepared for him to make a decision like that because it was just a jurisdiction hearing.  Needless to say I am concerned that this judge is biased and will not listen to any evidence that I present.   My attorney has encouraged me to consent to my wife's motion and have the case moved to her county.  That way I will get a new judge.  But, I am afraid this will happen all over again.  I have kept my daughter 50% of the time, I pay for everything while she is in my care.  I pay for all of her medical expenses, and I pay for her medical insurance.  
The bottom line is that I want to spend as much time with my daughter and have as much say so in her life that is possible.  I am worried that if I go to trial and the judge awards me only visitation, I will not have very much time and influence with my daughter.  I am considering offering her a settlement with a smaller percentage of child support and all the money from the sale of our house ($5,000.00),  for a custody arrangement that would have her as the custodial parent but would grant me roughly 14 days a month with my daughter.   I am really concerned and confused, and would appreciate any advice that any of you might have to offer.  

[Brent]

>Since the birth of my daughter I have kept her at least 50% of
>the time.  ......   I
>am really concerned and confused, and would appreciate any
>advice that any of you might have to offer.  

Some of these pages will apply more than others, but they all have valuable information:

Tips For Getting Started
http://www.deltabravo.net/news/10-19-2000.htm

How To Hire An Attorney
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/hiring.htm

Hiring An Effective Attorney
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/effective.htm

Success Factors In Obtaining Custody
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/tips.htm

Tips On Keeping Documentation
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/tips1.htm

One of the first things you'll hear around here is "Document, document, document!". Having good records is crucial. Start documenting immediately. Get yourself either the Parenting Time Tracker (PTT) at: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/tracker.htm or the OPTIMAL Custody Tracking service at: http://www.parentingtime.net.  The PTT is free, but the OPTIMAL service is better.

[concernedfather]

Thanks for the information.  I have been keeping track of the time with Excel up until now.

[imdaddy]

Where are you?  My case is similar - my daughter is 11 mos.

[concernedfather]

I am located in Georgia.  How about you?  What stage are you at?