New here, question on custody.

[Berk]

Yes, I went along with much of what she said to avoid the conflict. She was and still is a very manipulating woman. Part of the reason I left was the treatment of my first son, her step child. Took me quite some time to realize (or maybe get the guts) that there was a serious problem. Lots of mental abuse. Things are going much better with my oldest now.

Yes, she always is and I suppose has to be upset with someone. She has no close friends to speak of. Right now she has plenty, but I know it is just the "Divorce Groupies" that cling to a person during their divorce. Many have unresolved issues with former spouses and want to see me pay for them through her. Soon she will have problems with them and cast them aside.

I never gave the 3rd much thought. She was always quick on her feet in dicussions and arguments. If I did not literally take a good amount of time to prepare, I would have a hard time supporting my point. When I did do that, the end result was a huge fight. Now that I think about it, she did do that on occasion. I always doubted my memory when it came to things that I thought she said.

[NJDad]

Hi Berk,

You are about 1-2 weeks from getting arrested. It happened to me, my ex's niece did it and several people at work. For me, it was the next time I met her.

Immediately go to the Father Issues section, there is a posting for Recording Phone Calls from gaguy and my reply. Do exactly what it says tonight. Go to Best Buy and radio Shack.

Then, on your way back, go to Border's or B&N and pick up the following book: Stop Walking On Eggshells. It will give you great insight on what will be happening to you and what you have been dealing with.

Search Google for Dean Tong. He has some good books to like: Elusive Innocence. But first read the Eggshells book.

Unfortunately, you are in this for the long haul. If you don't do these steps, your Ex may have CPS take your first child out of your household as well.


DO NOT TRUST HER!!! 15% of the women and 8% of the men behave like this, especially during divorce.


Also, read my Change Of Custody posting on this message board. It can be done, you just have to outfox the fox, which is hard to do unless you read that book a couple of times (they use foreign logic).


W

PS. You can never verbally spar with this type of person, if you catch them on something, they will immediately try to change the subject and most times you will follow their bait. It you stick with the topic, they will get upset and hang up the phone. You will never figure our her logic, because she will be illogical.

 

[NJDad]

Hi Berk,


If you feel either you or your kids are in danger, go to the police and file a protective order. Most states, harassment charges can be filed up to 1 year after the offense. But try to keep it an immediate threat. It can be verbal or physical threats or abuse. But make sure it's a legitimate charge and serious enough to intimidate / hurt the kids. If you file the charge for your own self's protection, it may hurt your access to the kids.

You have the kids 6 of 14 nights. You are NOT the primary residence / parent. If you have the kids when this order is placed, they may be able to stay with you. Check with someone from the Police, County or CPS (they are 24x7) first.

If your soon-to-be Ex files first, they will stay with her and you will be in an up-hill battle on Hamburger Hill. For me, I'm will be in it for $120K by the end of next month because I was always on the defensive, trying to prove my innocence.

You may have to file charges fast & furious. That's the only language they understand. But don't let on that you are thinking this, if you are.

W


Note: All of my comments in these postings are derived from my personal experiences or opinions. I am not an attorney, please seek council's advice for proper direction.